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Help, My Spouse Has Changed – So Have You

Bernadette Cosby is a multifaceted professional passionate about helping people succeed in their relationships. She is a marriage consultant, host of the Forever Thirty-One podcast, a public speaker, and a talented fashion designer. Her unwavering commitment to uplifting and empowering individuals during their most challenging moments is truly remarkable

 
Executive Contributor Bernadette Cosby

What it took to get married is often not what it takes to stay married.  Change is the only constant in life, and this couldn't be truer than in marriage. When you said "I do," you embarked on a journey with your partner, but what you might not have anticipated was the many transformations you both would undergo.


The bride and groom use the little finger together.

Embracing the evolution of marriage

Marriage is often seen as the culmination of love, the final step in a romantic journey. However, this perception is misleading. In reality, marriage is not a destination but a dynamic, evolving partnership. What it took to get married—passion, excitement, the thrill of new love—is often not what it takes to stay married. 


Why? Because we change. You, your spouse, your relationship—all are in a constant state of flux. And this is perfectly normal.


The inevitable transformation

Let's face it: the person you married will not be the same person in five, ten, or twenty years. Neither will you. Life happens. Careers advance, personal interests shift, and new challenges emerge. Children might come along, bringing joy and chaos in equal measure. Each of these experiences molds and reshapes us, often in ways we can't predict.


It's essential to recognize and accept that change is not only inevitable but also necessary for growth. Just as individuals need to evolve, so too does the marriage.


The aha moment: Embracing change together

Here's the aha moment: instead of resisting change or longing for the past, embrace it. See change as an opportunity to deepen your connection with your spouse. 


Communicate openly

Regular, honest conversations about your evolving needs, desires, and dreams are vital. This openness can help both partners understand and support each other better.


Stay curious

Approach your spouse with curiosity. Ask about their new interests, challenges, and perspectives. Show genuine interest in who they are becoming.


Adapt together

Find ways to adapt together. This might mean redefining roles within the household, seeking new shared activities, or even revisiting your relationship goals.


Redefining commitment

Marriage is a commitment to support each other's growth, not to remain stagnant. It's about evolving together, continuously rediscovering each other, and finding new ways to love. 


Contrary to popular belief, the effort required to stay married is not about maintaining the status quo but about navigating and embracing the changes. This mindset shift can transform the way you view your relationship, turning potential sources of conflict into opportunities for connection.


The lasting impact

By embracing change, you create a resilient, flexible partnership that can weather life's storms. This mindset doesn't just benefit your marriage—it sets a powerful example for others. Share this perspective with friends, family, and fellow readers. Encourage them to view change not as a threat but as a catalyst for deeper, more meaningful relationships.


So, the next time you find yourself thinking, "Help, my spouse has changed!" remember: so have you. And that's a beautiful thing.


If this article resonated with you and you'd like to explore how to navigate the changes in your marriage, I'd love to help. As a marriage consultant, I offer personalized guidance to strengthen your relationship and embrace growth together. 


Apply here for an opportunity to work with me. 


Feel free to reach out for a consultation, and follow me on Instagram for more insights and tips on building a resilient, loving marriage.


Let's embrace the journey of change together!


Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube, and visit my website for more info!

 

Bernadette Cosby, Marriage Consultant & Podcast Host

Bernadette Cosby is a multifaceted professional passionate about helping people succeed in their relationships. She is a marriage consultant, host of the Forever Thirty-One podcast, a public speaker, and a talented fashion designer. Her unwavering commitment to uplifting and empowering individuals during their most challenging moments is truly remarkable.


Bernadette's journey is a testament to her resilience and determination. She faced the painful challenge of infidelity in her marriage, and rather than letting it break her, she emerged stronger and more committed than ever. Her personal experience serves as an inspiring example of overcoming adversity in the realm of marriage and relationships.


Her marriage consulting services provide practical advice and support, while her podcast offers a platform for open and honest discussions about the complexities of life, love, and commitment.


Bernadette's story is a living testament to the enduring power of love and determination. After weathering the storm of infidelity, she and her spouse have celebrated 19 years together, characterized by happiness and unwavering strength. Her journey is a beacon of hope and an inspiration for anyone striving to achieve their relationship goals.

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