Healing From Rejection – Expert Tips To Rebuild Your Confidence And Self-Worth
- Brainz Magazine
- Aug 5, 2024
- 4 min read
Updated: Oct 15, 2024
Written by Nicoleen Flamekeeper, Holistic Healing Coach
Nicoleen, The Flamekeeper is a leader in holistic healing. 10 years bed bound with chronic illness, on life support repressed memories of childhood sexual abuse were released, revealing how energy poisons mind, body and spirit. She is the Creator of the Phoenix Program 1:1 transformational coaching to heal trauma and rekindle your self-confidence.
Let me tell you a story about how to heal from rejection. I was in a coffee shop today enjoying a quiet moment when I spotted someone I knew sitting at the table next to me. She was with a friend and as I waited for a lull in their conversation to say hi, I noticed her body language was awkward. She was whispering and seemed very determined not to look at me. A moment later they both got up and left without ordering anything. I immediately felt the familiar sting of rejection rising up within me and began to wonder if she purposefully ignored me.
Did seeing me there make her uncomfortable? Did she not want to acknowledge me because she was embarrassed to introduce me to her friend? Did she just not want to talk to me? I was a little surprised as I thought we had an easy relationship, the sort where you chat and laugh at the bus stop while waiting for your kids to be collected.
After the initial sting I rallied. Instead of allowing the uncomfortable yet familiar story of her exit having everything to do with my shortcoming, I decided to relax and continue enjoying my little spot of sunshine.
There are a myriad of reasons why she could have left. Perhaps she did see me, but needed space to vent without being overheard. Perhaps they decided it was too cold to sit outside. Perhaps she really didn’t see me!
Stop telling yourself the same old story
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps! Who knows, and it doesn’t matter! The point is that I didn’t need to beat myself up by telling myself the same old story of unworthiness and rejection.
When you understand energy and how past traumas can become trapped in the body, you understand that everything is always working out for your highest good.
Challenge your beliefs
This neutral event was a service to me to show me that I still have some wounded energy within me that when triggered spirals me into the same old story. Beliefs cannot be sustained on their own, they require energy to be powered, your energy! This old belief wants me to continue to sustain it by telling myself I’m not good enough and that is why others reject me, but this doesn’t serve me!
You see as a child I suffered a lot of abuse and neglect. I was rejected by my mother and kept at arms length. Her unprocessed trauma meant that she was not able to be emotionally available for me. I never felt accepted and seen for who I am and my self-esteem took a beating. This caused a deep wound within me that still plays out today.
Over many years I have worked on releasing this trapped energy and have made so much progress that I’m now able to stop the story mid flow and step out of that energy loop that has me banging my head against a wall.
You are a story generating machine
Nothing outside of you, no event, no circumstance has any meaning until you assign it meaning! Every challenge indeed has the ability to become an opportunity, depending on the energy you choose to give it. Positive energy in, positive result out, negative energy in, negative energy out. It really is that simple!
Uncomfortable E-motion, Energy in motion, becomes trapped when you experience a challenge that creates an emotion that is so uncomfortable that you don’t know what to do with it. When these overwhelming feelings arise, the most common thing to do with them is resist! This means you clench up and say ugh, that’s painful, I don’t want to feel that and so in the moment you repress it.
Healing from rejection is impossible when you refuse to feel it
You have literally dug a hole and dumped that emotion into it, covered it up with layers of dirt and leaves and because you’ve managed to hide it from yourself for a time, you think it’s gone, but it’s not! You are dragging it around with you and in time similar energy will be attracted to it, adding to the burden you’re carrying until the weight of this pain is crippling.
The old festering emotion trapped within you becomes a stagnant energy block, poisoning every aspect of your life.
As an energy healer and spiritual coach, I understand the key to clearing these blocks is to allow yourself to feel the uncomfortable emotions as they arise.
Until all the repressed emotion is released, every time a challenging experience happens the old energy will be stirred up. This is not a curse, the Universe is not trying to punish you, it’s trying to show you hey there’s still a little of that rejection energy within you. Can you feel it and release it now?
You deserve to heal from rejection and trauma, and to regain your self confidence so that you can create a life of fulfilment and joy. Know that it is within your power to do this.
If you’d like to find out if spiritual coaching is right for you, please reach out to me for a Free break though call.
Sending you love always.
Nicoleen Flamekeeper, Holistic Healing Coach
Nicoleen Flamekeeper is the Flamekeeper, a holistic healing coach transforming mind, body and spirit. 10 years bed-bound with chronic illness, on life support, repressed memories of childhood sexual abuse were released, revealing how energy poisons mind, body, and spirit. She is skilled at healing sexual abuse, domestic violence and narcissistic abuse, that results in low self-worth, alcoholism, addiction, depression, anxiety and chronic illness. She is the Creator of the Phoenix program: 1:1 transformational coaching. Her mission: help you heal from trauma and rekindle your self-confidence so that you can create the joyful life you deserve.
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