Grounded in Life, Dedicated to Healing Others Through Grief –Interview with Leoniek van der Maarel
- Brainz Magazine
- Oct 3
- 4 min read
With over 25 years of experience and a deeply personal connection to her work, Leoniek has become one of the leading voices in the field of loss and transition. Her approach is grounded in the understanding that grief does not always begin with death, and healing is never one-size-fits-all.
Her career is defined by one central truth, grief is everywhere. In the aftermath of a death, a divorce, a broken family bond, or a lost dream, it weaves itself through human lives in ways both visible and silent. And yet, society still often asks us to “move on” too quickly, or without the right support. Leoniek’s life work is to change that.
Leoniek van der Maarel, (Bereavement) Psychologist, Grief Expert, Author, Mentor and Trainer
Who is Leoniek van der Maarel? Introduce yourself, your hobbies, your favorites, you at home and in business. Tell us something interesting about yourself.
I’m Leoniek van der Maarel, Bereavement Psychologist. My mission is to guide people through grief, whether through therapy, training professionals, or via methods I co-created like the CIRCLE Method and the SCHIPaanpak. I also run the Grief Training Centre, where I help others feel confident in supporting clients in loss.
At home, I love music, running (after three marathons it’s still my dream to run another, now with two new hips), golf, and spending time with my grandchildren. My favorites, good coffee, meaningful conversations, and quiet places in nature. Friends describe me as grounded with humor, while professionally I like to explore innovative approaches such as Deepfake Therapy.
I never planned to specialize in grief, life brought me here after losing my first husband. That personal loss drives my mission, making grief a supported path, not a silent struggle.
How does your training fill the gaps basic mental health education leaves behind?
Basic training teaches theory and diagnostic skills but often fails in the raw reality of grief. Textbook approaches don’t prepare professionals for sitting with someone whose world has collapsed.
Most programs treat grief as pathology, but grief is a natural response. Professionals often feel helpless in those intense moments. Specialized grief training provides the missing compass, the ability to sit with pain, recognize grief’s non-linear patterns, and guide clients with competence and compassion.
What makes grief support for adults distinct from working with children?
Adults and children grieve differently:
Children live in the now. They can cry one moment and play the next. Adults worry about “forever.”
Children become caretakers. They hide their grief to protect adults.
They learn by watching. Modeling matters more than words.
They carry secret thoughts. Worries about death or anger toward the deceased often stay hidden.
They wait for stories. Children rarely ask, but need adults to share memories.
They fear falling apart. Tears can feel endless and unsafe.
Working with children means creating safety, giving permission for “weird” thoughts, being proactive storytellers, and guiding the whole family system. Done well, this builds lifelong resilience.
Why is practical, step by step grief training essential for mental health professionals?
Theory alone isn’t enough. Professionals need to know how to respond in real conversations, when someone says their partner still talks to them, or when grief resurfaces unexpectedly.
Step by step training bridges the gap, translating theory into practice, providing case studies, and equipping clinicians to maintain emotional balance. The CIRCLE approach offers a flexible, integrated framework. Most importantly, training prepares professionals for the emotional reality of grief work, so they can stay present without being overwhelmed.
How do you help clinicians build confidence in supporting clients through grief?
Confidence grows when professionals realize uncertainty is normal. Training builds this through:
Knowledge: understanding grief theories and the brain’s adaptation to loss.
Tools: frameworks like CIRCLE, not “perfect words.”
Facing fears: learning that avoiding pain keeps people stuck.
Resilience: staying emotionally present without taking grief home.
Practice: real cases and interventions, not just theory.
Mentoring: ongoing support to handle challenges.
The result, professionals who trust themselves, engage deeply, and offer clients meaningful support.
Can you share how your training transforms both professional practice and personal healing?
The transformation is twofold:
Professionally: clinicians move from helplessness to confidence. They learn to be present with pain, recognize grief’s rhythms, and respond without rushing to fix. The CIRCLE approach becomes their roadmap.
Personally: many discover unprocessed grief in their own lives. By learning to guide others, they heal themselves. This dual growth makes them more authentic, compassionate, and effective.
Our training integrates personal and professional growth, turning knowledge into lived wisdom. Clients benefit from professionals who truly understand grief from the inside out.
Why should practitioners choose you to become specialists in grief support?
Because loss underlies so many struggles, yet often goes unrecognized. Behind boundary issues, anxiety, or career challenges often lies unprocessed grief.
My approach trains professionals not just to see grief after death, but the hidden losses shaping people’s lives, divorce, miscarriage, lost identities, moves. Recognizing loss changes everything, suddenly “resistant” clients make sense.
At the Grief Training Centre, I don’t only teach theory, I show how to apply it in real conversations. Professionals learn to recognize grief, ask the right questions, and stay present without drowning in emotion. This ability transforms therapy from symptom management into true healing.
Practitioners choose my training because it helps them see what others miss, and gives them the tools and confidence to work with it.
What outcomes do you hope participants carry forward into their work after your training?
I hope they leave knowing they can truly make a difference. That they feel grounded and capable when facing grief, no longer helpless.
They develop “grief literacy”, recognizing where someone is in their process and responding appropriately, whether with psychoeducation, permission for anger, or reassurance about lingering emotions.
I want them to stop second-guessing and instead trust their instincts, supported by frameworks like CIRCLE. I hope they actively seek grief clients, knowing they can help, and rediscover their passion for this work.
Most of all, I want them to feel the meaning in this work, walking with someone through darkness until they slowly find light again.
Read more from Leoniek van der Maarel
