Four Steps to Stopping Self-Sabotage
- Nov 4, 2020
- 4 min read
Written by: Brenda Johnston, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
How many times in your life have you set an intention or a goal, you’re taking massive action towards manifesting it, and then... you don’t make it happen. Maybe you forgot a deadline, maybe you keep starting projects but never finishing them, maybe you just stopped taking action, and you have no logical reason why.
Say hello to self-sabotage! I know it well. It kept me playing small for over 10 years! It can eat away at your self-confidence as well as your self-esteem. Not to mention, it can make you believe that every failure you have ever had is a truth, and you are destined to keep failing if you try to step out of your comfort zone.
Self-sabotage is one way that your subconscious mind communicates with you to alert you that an underlying issue needs to be addressed (aka a limiting belief). Unfortunately, it shows up as negative behaviors and thoughts.
Here are three of the most common forms of self-sabotage that I see with the people I work with:
1. Getting caught in worry about failure (low self-confidence, self-esteem, self-worth). This shows up a lot when working with people on Money Mindset issues. Not feeling like they are worthy of receiving payments from clients or charging what they are worth.
2. Getting stuck in comparison thinking and measuring your value based on what others are doing. I see this a LOT with female entrepreneurs trying to set their pricing based on what everyone else is doing.
3. Getting caught in the cycle of procrasta-learning because we suffer from imposter syndrome and feel like we never know enough. This is also a big one for female entrepreneurs as well as women in corporate who feel like they are constantly being told to prove their worth.
Here are four ways to stop your self-sabotage:
RECOGNIZE IT
Beating self-sabotage requires you to see what it is. That starts by taking a good hard look at yourself (from a place of non-judgment) and becoming aware of your self-sabotaging behaviors. It can show up as procrastination, negative self-talk, lack of motivation, being unable to make a decision.
GET CLEAR ON WHAT YOU REALLY WANT Chances are you’re stuck in a cycle of self-sabotage because you aren’t actually clear on what you REALLY want. But I bet you’re really good at telling people what you DON’T want.
“I don’t want to have debt.”
“I don’t want people to treat me differently because I am doing well financially.”
“I don’t want my husband to feel bad that I make more money than him.”
So, get clear on what you DO want. If you are unsure how to do this, take a look at what you don’t want and then write the complete opposite.
INTERUPT THE PATTERN
Now that you are aware of your negative thoughts and/or behaviors, it’s time to interrupt them. A pattern interrupt is an NLP technique that involves breaking your routine, habit, thought, or that not so great behavior you have been acting out.
Doing this is really useful because it shakes up your typical thoughts and actions and opens your mind up for the possibility of something new to take place. Doing this is a powerful part of the transformation process.
One of my favorite ways to do this is when I have a negative thought, or I’m about to slip into the habit of negative behavior, and I catch it...I either imagine a giant stop sign flash in my head or I literally say the word STOP!
If it’s a negative thought, I’m having. I instantly replace it with a more empowering thought. Example: “I can’t afford that” changes to “I’m choosing to spend my money on something else.”
It works in a similar way if I am interrupting a behavior, I still do the visual of a stop sign, or I say STOP! but instead, I ask, “Is this taking me closer to my intention or away from it?”
INVEST IN YOURSELF AND WORK WITH A COACH Hiring a coach was one of the things I have done for myself. I work with a business coach, as well as a fitness and nutrition coach. I will ALWAYS have coaches in my life. They are what propelled my business and my life in general forward and continue to do so.
They make you accountable. They help you harness your ideas. A good mindset coach can help you transform on a deeper level. They help you build confidence.
No matter how much self-motivation you might have, you’ll never truly know what you’re capable of until you have someone who pushes you outside your comfort zone.
Let’s get social, connect with me on Instagram, visit my website or check out The Limitless Life Podcast
Brenda Johnston, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
After being chained to the same corporate job for close to 14 years and living with debt for most of her adult life, Brenda decided it was time to stop playing small. She changed her relationship with money and success (and more importantly, herself) to turn her passion into profit. Within 7 months of leaving her corporate job, she had built a successful 6-figure business. As a High-Performance Mindset Coach, and the host of The Limitless Life podcast Brenda helps other driven Women tap into the power of their subconscious minds so they can access their full manifesting potential. She does this by helping transform limiting beliefs and fears that are creating patterns of self-sabotage so they can create an abundance mindset and go from worry to wealth.
