Feeling Stuck? – Why Adding a Little Stress Might Be Exactly What You Need
Updated: Jan 19
Written by Elizabeth Huang, Life Coach & Death Doula
Elizabeth Huang is a certified life coach, grief educator, and death doula. Her work emphasizes enhancing emotional literacy, fostering social and emotional learning, and supporting affective development in a world that is becoming increasingly reliant on technology.
Ever feel like you’re spinning your wheels no matter how hard you try? It might sound surprising, but adding just the right amount of stress can break the cycle and push you forward. This article explores how controlled challenges can ignite growth, boost motivation, and help you regain momentum. How “good stress” (eustress) can reignite your motivation and momentum without burning you out.
The misunderstood role of stress
We’re constantly told to avoid stress – to reduce it, manage it, escape it. And for good reason: chronic, unregulated stress can wreak havoc on our bodies, minds, and relationships.
But what if avoiding all stress is actually keeping you stuck?
Years ago, I was working 120+ hours a week at a high-stress job. Eventually, the overload caught up with me, and in response, I spent years doing everything I could to avoid stress entirely. The irony? That total avoidance created a different kind of stress: feeling stagnant, uninspired, and disconnected from my sense of purpose.
Here’s what I’ve learned since:
Not all stress is harmful. In fact, some stress, specifically eustress, can be exactly what we need to get out of autopilot and move forward to reconnect with life.
What is eustress (and why you need it)
Most of us associate stress with suffering, the kind that leads to anxiety, burnout, or shutdown. That’s distress. But eustress is different.
Eustress is the kind of stress that energizes and activates us. It’s what we feel when we take on a challenge that’s just outside our comfort zone, hard enough to stretch us, but not so hard that it paralyzes us.
Think of it like this:
You’re playing a game. If it’s too easy, you get bored. If it’s impossibly hard, you give up. But if it’s just challenging enough to engage you, you become focused, alert, and in the zone. That’s eustress.
Without any stress, we risk falling into apathy, avoidance, or emotional stagnation. We stop growing because we stop engaging.
Why you might be feeling stuck
If you’re feeling stuck right now, it could be for two reasons:
You’re in a state of chronic distress, constantly overwhelmed or burnt out
Or, you’ve landed in the comfort zone trap, where life feels flat, repetitive, or unmotivating
In the second scenario, it’s not that you’re doing “too much,” you might not be doing enough of what challenges you in a meaningful way.
Signs you may have too little stimulation
Low energy or fatigue
Lack of purpose or direction
Difficulty making decisions
Avoiding risks or change
Feeling emotionally numb or unmotivated
How to intentionally introduce motivating stress
Eustress isn’t something you wait for; it’s something you can intentionally invite into your life.
a. Set a stretch goal
Pick a goal that’s slightly out of reach, but still realistic.
Set a deadline
Share it with someone for accountability
Make a small public commitment to raise the stakes
b. Lean into new experiences
Try something unfamiliar, even a small shift in routine, can activate new energy.
Take a new class
Attend an event solo
Experiment with a new creative outlet
c. Use time pressure wisely
Time constraints can create healthy urgency, but only if used with intention.
Try short work sprints
Use timers or time-blocking to reduce procrastination
Avoid perfectionism by giving yourself clear finish lines
d. Change your environment
Disrupt your environment to disrupt your patterns.
Rearrange your workspace
Work from a new location
Take a trip, walk, or digital break to reset your system
How to stay regulated, not overwhelmed
The goal isn’t to stress yourself out; it’s to find your activation point without tipping into distress. Here’s how to stay grounded as you stretch:
Know your signs: Learn the difference between energized challenge and anxious overload
Regulate daily: Use breathwork, movement, and rest proactively – not just when you crash
Set boundaries: Protect your energy while still allowing room for stretch and growth
Recalibrate often: Check in with yourself regularly to adjust as needed
The magic of eustress is in its balance – just enough pressure to move, not so much that you break.
Final thoughts
You don’t need to eliminate stress. You need to revisit your relationship with it.
The right kind of stress can be the spark that pulls you out of stagnation and into a state of clarity, action, and purpose.
If you’re feeling stuck emotionally, creatively, or directionally, don’t just seek comfort. Seek challenge, with care.
Ready to get unstuck?
I help people move through transitions, grief, and emotional blocks by reconnecting with their nervous systems, creativity, and sense of direction.
If you're ready to re-engage with life (without burning out), let's talk.
Learn more about my coaching services.
Read more from Elizabeth Huang
Elizabeth Huang, Life Coach & Death Doula
Elizabeth Huang is a certified life coach, grief educator, and death doula dedicated to helping individuals navigate life’s transitions with greater emotional awareness and resilience. Born and raised in California, she was deeply influenced by the American culture’s discomfort with grief and avoidance of death. This inspired her to explore a more intentional and holistic approach to life, loss, and the emotions that shape our experiences. Through her work, Elizabeth guides individuals in processing grief - whether it stems from death, identity shifts, career changes, or other major life transitions.
