Feeling Stuck? – Let Your Future-Self Win More Often
- Brainz Magazine
- Mar 17
- 7 min read
Updated: Mar 25
Lisa Hansen offers a truly unique style of Mindset Coaching that powerfully blends Spiritual practices, Manifestation teachings, Somatic Release techniques, and practical Life Coaching skills. She has helped hundreds of clients feel empowered to manifest the lives they dream about.
Imagine you have all these inspiring goals. You want to lose 15 pounds. You’d love to get in shape. You’d like to get a new job. You’d like to attract your soul-mate. You feel excited and tell your family and friends. Now imagine a few weeks or months go by and you haven’t done anything to bring you closer to your goals at all. You find yourself making all sorts of excuses, but deep down you’re feeling utterly confused about why aren’t able to take action. You beat yourself up, saying things like “What’s wrong with me?”
The problem is you feel stuck, so you stay stuck. And when you feel stuck, you don’t do anything. This freeze-mode leads to guilt, shame, and feeling like a failure. Whereas your worth is definitely not tied to achievements, learning how to get unstuck will not only help you reach your goals, but will also enhance the quality of your life and bring forth a sense of pride and fulfillment.
Self-discipline
I used to hate and resist this word. That is until I changed my definition around it. My old definition was harsh, strict, and controlling. This was due to the voice of my inner critic, whose language was full of have-to’s, should’s, and shouldn’ts. This definition felt as if I was forcing myself to do something I didn’t really want to do, and my inner teenager would rebel.
Then one day I decided to change my perspective. I realized I was mistakenly viewing self-discipline as control, not opportunity. My new definition of self-discipline became all about letting my future-self win more often. You see, without understanding the concept of future-self, I was blind to how what I was doing in the present moment was affecting my future. By shifting my focus on how I wanted my future-self to feel, which is empowered and fulfilled, I was able to embrace a new definition of self-discipline that served me better.
Future-self
The concept of future-self is about using the power of your imagination to get unstuck and reach your goals. The practice involves writing out everything you want to see happen in your life and imagining how your future-self will feel when you get there. Become very clear and include as many details as possible. Examples include: Weighing 15 pounds lighter and feeling healthier and proud. Starting a new business and feeling successful and fulfilled. Lifting heavier weights and feeling stronger and confident. Buying a new home and feeling ecstatic about your new environment. While journaling, ask yourself questions such as: What does my future-self want and desire? What would feel amazing, fulfilling, and light me up? How do I want to be living my life? Who do I want to inspire?
Next, take inventory of the goals you have listed. Contemplate for each one: What will my present-self have to be willing to give up or start doing in order to give my future-self this result? Am I willing to do that or not? Examples include decreasing the amount of time you watch television, going to the gym 4 days a week, or taking the necessary courses to develop a skill. If you decide you aren't willing to do these things in your present, accept this! It is very important to get clarity. Perhaps you need to release that goal or delay it. When you give yourself permission to let go of a goal for now, you cut the cords to shame, guilt, and beating yourself up over not doing it and feeling stuck! Simply release it, and trust that if it's meant to be it will come back. This frees up your energy to focus on the goals you are willing to start right now, in the present moment.
Next, start taking action toward your goals by embracing the concept of letting your future-self win more often. This is the ultimate key to getting unstuck. For example, if your future-self wants you to eat healthy food, record a podcast episode, or go to the gym to lift weights, but your present-self wants you to eat fries, watch Netflix, or go to Target instead and you give in, you have just let your present-self win. Continuing to let your present-self win will keep you trapped in the loop of feeling stuck and never reaching your goals. You must develop the habit of remembering what your future-self wants and letting that part of you win more often. Otherwise, you will remain stuck.
Learning self-talk such as “Of course we don't feel like doing it now, but we are going to do it anyway because 3 months from now we will be lighter and feel proud.” Become comfortable with giving yourself pep talks. Notice how I used “we” in this example. That’s intentional because you are talking to the inner committee of subconscious parts within you consisting of the inner critic, the inner child, the procrastinator, the saboteur, and anyone else who’s in there keeping you stuck.
Motivation
Many people are waiting around for motivation to just show up. And they mistake its absence as a reason to not take action. If you are feeling stuck, you most likely are waiting for motivation to magically appear. But did you know motivation is created by your thoughts?
We all love it when motivation shows up, but don’t wait around for it. Motivation typically shows up at some point, but it’s wavering and unpredictable. Choose to start on your goal anyway, without motivation. Trust it will show up along the way once you begin taking aligned action.
So many of my clients tell me they don’t feel motivated or aren’t feeling inspired. Again, this is where self-talk is useful. Learn to tell yourself “Of course we don’t feel like doing it, but we're going to anyway because our future-self will be so happy when this goal is reached.” It’s like taking your kid to the dentist. They might fight you, whine about it, and throw a fit about going, but you talk to them and soothe them by reminding them why it’s important. And we take them anyway, even if they throwing a fit. Don’t give into the demands of your present-self. Don’t believe the lie that you need to feel motivated or inspired first. Gently remind yourself “We are just going to get started and the good news is along the way there’s a good chance motivation will show up.”
Confidence
“I just want to be more confident about this goal,” is what I hear the most from clients in my coaching practice. People always ask how they can feel more confident. You don’t. You just move forward anyway. Just like motivation, if you wait for confidence to show up before taking action, you will stay stuck.
People often mistake confidence as a noun. But it is a feeling that comes from the thought “I am really good at this.” The problem is you haven't gotten good at something yet because you’ve been stuck and not even trying! It’s a much better use of your time and energy to believe “I’m not good at this yet, but if I keep going one day I might become very good at it”. See how that takes the pressure off? Let yourself be not good at something and do it anyway. You will learn as you go and confidence will show up somewhere along the way. Letting go of perfectionism and the pressure of thinking you should feel confident helps you get unstuck. Don’t fail ahead of time by not even trying.
I love to refer to the 4 C’s by Dan Sullivan. He states there are four steps to reaching a goal: Commitment, Courage, Capability, and Confidence. Notice how confidence is last! Whenever we are working on something, whether it's a career goal, weight loss goal, or running a 5K, the first step is to commit. Decide you are going to go for it. Next comes courage. You need courage to begin stepping outside your comfort zone and take aligned action. Once you get going, capability shows up. You now have some evidence that you are capable of doing what it takes to reach your goal. At last, good ole’ confidence shows up. You now feel confident because you have taken action, practiced and gotten good at it. You now have proof. If you genuinely have the desire to get unstuck, grasp this concept and put it on a sticky note everywhere!
Since commitment is the first step to reaching any goal, let’s discuss this further.
Commitment
Commitment is also a feeling generated by our thoughts. And the one simple sentence that creates it is “No matter what.”
I will do this thing no matter what.
I will follow through no matter what.
I will do the hard things even when it feels hard or I don’t feel like it no matter what.
I will show up no matter what.
Put these thoughts on sticky notes too! We all need daily reminders when making the decision to think on purpose. Mindset work is like dust: if you don’t pay attention to dust, it piles up, affecting your physical health. You need to clean regularly and keep up with dust, or suffer the consequences. In the same way, if you don’t stay on top of your mindset, your thoughts will revert back to negativity and you will suffer. Adopting a mindset of “No matter what” will help get you unstuck and stay unstuck. You will be able to manifest everything you’ve always wanted and live a fulfilling life.
Make the decision today
Decide you are going to get unstuck by implementing these practices right away. If you are habitually stuck or have been stuck for a long time, you may want to read a best-selling book on this topic or hire a good coach, counselor, or therapist. Your future-self will definitely thank you.
Still feeling stuck?
Book a free session here with Lisa today to help you identify your patterns causing self-sabotage and procrastination.
Read more from Lisa Hansen
Lisa Hansen, Life Coach, Conscious Parenting Coach & Spiritual Mentor
Lisa Hansen has over 20 years of experience as a Life and Mindset Coach, Conscious Parenting Coach, and Spiritual Mentor. She believes anyone is capable of manifesting the life they truly want to be living, whether it’s to feel a greater sense of purpose, earn more money, improve their relationships, or become a more peaceful parent. Her passion is empowering women to live confidently, intuitively, and authentically. She helps her clients shed self-limiting beliefs, end self-sabotage, overcome their inner critic, and transform their lives into one full of self-love, self-acceptance, and empowerment.
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