Facing Our Shadow Side And What We Can Learn
Updated: Nov 23, 2021
Written by: Rose Burnett, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Our Shadow Self can provide many deep insights into self-imposed limitations we place around ourselves. Along with deep-rooted fears, insecurities, and triggers that impact our sense of self-worth.
It is also a part of us to be loved. Because within our Shadow side is a gift that can help us grow, expand, and release things about ourselves that hold us back in life.
Our Shadow side is the part of us that we try to repress, ignore, or don't like that much for fear of rejection, shame, guilt, or feelings of being unworthy.
Sometimes when feeling emotionally overwhelmed, it can be confusing to understand what our shadow side is trying to tell us.
It often sits encased in our subconscious mind and needs a period of reflection to find the deeper meaning that explains our feelings, the root cause, and what we need to learn.
Ultimately it is a life lesson, that sets us free in one aspect of self.
ENDURING A DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL
The Shadow side of self can be painfully obvious when enduring a dark night of the Soul.
A dark night of the Soul can be triggered by a significant life event, feeling overwhelmed or hopeless, experiencing high levels of stress or burnout.
You may feel like you have lost your footing in life, your life direction and your purpose.
Often what is being shed is a belief system we have outgrown (or need to), an identity, relationship or life path that once held meaning for us, but now no longer positively supports us.
We can cling to familiar, resisting change, even though we know we need to.
When enduring a dark night of the Soul, you can:
Feel depressed, flat, lethargic, burnt out, tired, and fatigued.
Be overly concerned about the future or past failures.
Feel not good enough, judge yourself harshly, and compare yourself to others concerning material wealth, possessions, relationship status, body image, career progress and achievements.
Experience despair, hopelessness, and not see any way out of your situation.
Feel isolated and disconnected from others.
Lose interest in your normal activities, be overly emotional and sensitive.
Feel stuck in states of procrastination, confusion, frustration, and not knowing what to do next.
This crisis is helping you figure out what has meaning for you and what needs to change in your life to make it better.
Letting go of parts of self, attached to our identity, can involve a period of grief and feelings of loss. As we let go of what was and open ourselves up to new possibilities.
It could be a failed business, a socially admired relationship, a way in which we have defined ourselves, a home, lifestyle, or career we are shedding.
It may be that you have reached a point of no return, where you are so frustrated with how things are in your life that you're not going to take it anymore.
Which usually involves a feeling of lack in some area of your life. Be it your finances, material possessions, love, connectedness to others, health and wellbeing, or sense of self-worth.
USING OUR SHADOW SIDE TO TRANSFORM DARKNESS TO LIGHT
To transform the feeling of darkness in our life, or shadow side into light, we need to accept responsibility for ourselves and see the truth in situations.
Deciding what you will no longer tolerate in your life.
By bringing conscious awareness to those things that no longer serve us we can identify what needs to change, and how.
It can also be that we need to change how we are perceiving things.
The meaning we are giving them, and how our negative self-talk can be making situations worse than they are.
Whenever we are kinder to ourselves, release harsh judgements about ourselves or others, and find the lessons in our experiences, we release the strong hold our shadow side has on us.
When we accept responsibility for what is not working in our lives and take small or big steps to create positive change, we instantly start to feel better.
It is like a big weight is lifted off your shoulders and psyche. You have stepped into your personal power and out of victim mode and released feelings of helplessness.
The Shadow side is to be loved, explored, and treasured for the life-changing gifts it will give you in living your life with more freedom and happiness.
And remember…
Action is power.
Clarity is learning.
Change is personal growth.
Rose Burnett, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Rose Burnett is a Certified Rose Burnett is a Certified Transformational Coach, NLP Practitioner and Advanced Reiki Practitioner. Rose specializes in Mind Body Soul Balance with a keen interest in fitness, healthy natural eating, mind-body-soul connection, and spirituality. Founder of Warrior Spirit Activewear, a collection of vibrant gym wear for women and fitness blog.
Rose also works as a Change Management Consultant helping people and teams successfully navigate through organisational and technology change.
