Written by: Sílvia Fontquerni, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Have you ever felt threatened because a team member was better than you?
Have you ever lost focus on what is best for the team because you wanted extra merit or recognition?
Have you ever felt frustrated because your team member was not doing what you expect?
Have you ever felt angry because your colleague got that promotion that you truly wanted?
Everybody felt these types of emotions at some point in their life. How did you react? What were the consequences?
Emotions and feelings are not good or bad.
Some people label emotions as negative or bad. The thing is, they are just emotions and even if you like it or not, they are part of human beings. Some emotions may create uncomfortable states: no one likes to feel angry, insecure, envious, or frustrated. There is nothing wrong with feeling these emotions.
Why emotions are important in leadership roles?
If you are a leader, what impact can have on your team…?
Feeling stressed all the time.
Being unfair to them when you are in a bad mood or feeling nervous.
Stealing their ideas or projects because you feel insecure and small.
Not being supportive because you are scared they will get better than you.
It is not ‘I should not feel that way if I am a good leader’. Everybody talks about excellent and extraordinary leadership, but leaders are just humans. And you are extraordinary with all your imperfections. However, it is important to be aware of all these thoughts, feelings, and emotions because if they escalate too much, there may cause extremely negative consequences.
For example
Imagine for a moment that you are a leader and your team member starts to be better than you. This can create insecurity, fear, and jealousy, which is normal, everybody would feel that way probably. However, you can use these emotions to reinvent yourself and improve or even learn from that person. But if you start escalating in a toxic cycle, this can only bring negative consequences for you and your team. If you start stealing ideas and projects from your team member, this is not ethical. If you start spreading false rumours to discredit that person, this is not leadership. If you start bullying, embarrassing, and pushing down your team member, this is not leadership or ethical.
What impact would these behaviours have on the team?
Think for a moment what consequences these toxic cycles can bring to the team:
Will the team member feel valued and part of the team?
Will the full team trust and respect the leader?
Will the full team feel that they work in a fair atmosphere?
Will the full team feel motivated?
I bet all the answers are the same: NO.
There is nothing wrong with feeling envious, insecure, angry, or frustrated, but do not let these emotions escalate in toxic cycles which not only will have negative consequences on your team, but also on yourself.
Sílvia Fontquerni, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Sílvia is from Barcelona currently working and living in London, UK. Her work as a coach consists in helping individuals and professionals be at their best not only at the workplace but also in personal life. She studied Psychology, Human Resources, and Coaching.
As a Life Coach, she gives support and guidance so that clients can unleash their full potential and as a result, be able to achieve their goals: build self-confidence, overcome fears & self-limitations, gain clarity in order to make the right decisions and be able to awake their inner wisdom.
As Workplace & Team Coach, she helps professionals to maximise their performance and development in areas such as communication, team building/engagement, emotional intelligence and leadership. She understands the importance of a leader role in companies in order to be aligned in organisation culture, values and goals. Innovation and change are key in a company's success.
