Do I Actually Belong Here, or is the System Broken?
- Feb 11
- 4 min read
Laila Belabbas is the Founder of Splish Splash Handmade Products & Executive Coach In Your Corner. With over 15 years as a Human Resources Leader and Leadership Coach, she holds a Bachelor's in Commerce Entrepreneurial Management-Finance, is a Certified Executive Coach and a member of the International Coaching Federation
Have you ever questioned whether you truly belong at work, especially when doing the right thing comes at a cost? This article shares a personal experience of navigating toxic workplace dynamics, being dismissed in leadership, and discovering that sometimes belonging is not found within broken systems, but created by building something new.
Tired of being dismissed
Some time ago, I began a new role as an HR leader. Shortly after my arrival, it became clear that certain managers didn’t want me there. They began to use sleazy tactics, such as switching the time of meetings without advising me, and then sending a message to my manager to say that I didn’t show up. There were many complaints about management from employees and unions regarding harassment, discrimination, and favouritism. They were afraid of being exposed for their poor leadership and lack of compliance with internal and external policies. Through several investigations, I found alarming issues that I was obligated to report.
I tried to coach those managers in that location. It was a difficult task, as they didn’t believe they needed leadership training or coaching. They would cancel at the last minute, disappear when I came in on office days, and hide somewhere I couldn’t find them. During meetings, they would omit sharing valuable information needed for me to do my job.
I was advised multiple times by head office to work harder to earn their trust, showcase my experience, and make myself valuable. Hearing this from the HR department was very disappointing. They also demonstrated poor leadership by allowing this type of behaviour from managers to continue for years without addressing it. I really felt that I was set up to fail. Unfortunately, these situations are very common in organisations.
This is how a toxic environment operates, using deception and treachery to push out those who might oppose its power. If that is how they treat HR, you can imagine how they treat employees.
Some of the HR strategies of self-preservation that I have developed over the years include always sending an email after meetings with leaders, outlining bullet points from the conversation along with my advice and recommendations. This practice has proven essential on many occasions. Even after doing my due diligence, some managers would complain that they never received an email or had a meeting with me to discuss challenges. When they made poor decisions that were costly to the organisation, even though I had not made those decisions, they would say that I did. These constant attempts to sabotage my work have become exhausting over the years.
I am not alone. Many women face the same challenges. In my coaching practice, these situations come up in conversation all the time. We have all, in some way, experienced a toxic workplace as professionals.
Don’t give up, we need more women in leadership
I had a conversation with an executive female leader, and she told me not to give up. We need more women like you to advocate for other women and continue supporting and developing female leaders. We need female leadership representation. It made me pause for a moment and realise that she was right. I need to find another avenue that helps me feel a sense of belonging and allows other women to feel safe too.
When you feel like you don’t belong, build your own table
There comes a moment when you realise that some tables are not welcoming, no matter what companies state in their values and mission statements. It often sounds like jargon on a website. Do they actually live up to what they say about their organisation, or is it just a polished strategy to attract top talent?
Corporate fatigue is real, and more people than ever feel that they don’t belong. How can I remedy this challenge? I want other women to be able to show up as themselves, with all the skills, education, and experience that are deemed valuable, interesting, and supported. I want their experience to be celebrated and embraced, not dismissed.
Canadian women in business was born
After some reflection, I decided to build my own table. If I am feeling this way, others must be feeling the same way too. This is how the Canadian Women in Business Community was born.
The community supports women in business and those aspiring to become entrepreneurs. Whatever stage you are at in your business, this is a great place to connect. It is a safe space where women can support each other, share challenges and small wins, offer words of encouragement, ask questions, access resources, get tips, and receive mentorship and coaching.
In addition, we offer free courses to help navigate entrepreneurship. There is so much wisdom and experience within the group, and meaningful conversations are happening every day. It is also a wonderful opportunity to learn about other people’s crafts and businesses. Everyone has a seat at the table and is welcome to show up as they are.
I can’t wait to feature this group of women who have chosen the entrepreneurship journey. If you can’t find a seat at the table, go and build one. No one is stopping you.
Read more from Laila Belabbas
Laila Belabbas, Splish Splash Handmade Products & Executive Coach
Laila Belabbas is an Executive Coach, Human Resources Leader, and Entrepreneur passionate about helping people and organizations reach their full potential. With over 15 years of experience in leadership, coaching, and business growth, she brings a human-centered approach to performance and purpose. As the Founder of Splish Splash Handmade Products and Executive Coach In Your Corner, Laila blends strategy with empathy to inspire conscious, authentic leadership. Her articles explore coaching, leadership, entrepreneurship, human resources, and wellness, empowering readers to lead with confidence, purpose, and live with intention.
