Written by: Andrée Funnell, Senior Level Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Has your confidence been eroded at work by toxic bosses or peers? Perhaps you feel disrespected, not listened to, undervalued or overwhelmed.
Well, you are not alone! Many of my clients feel exactly like this however do not have the confidence to step out of their comfort zone and say enough is enough! ‘Claiming your Power’ back feels uncomfortable and perhaps out of your reach, particularly if you are struggling with your self-esteem and confidence. All of us would love to have personal power
The power to manifest our dreams
The power to remain calm and loving in the face of fear
The power to stay centred in us in the face of attack.
Our society often confuses personal power – “power within” – with “power over,” which is about controlling others. There is a vast difference between personal power and control.
Personal power comes from an inner and deep sense of confidence and security, from knowing who you are, what you want and how to get it. It also includes knowing your worth and whether you are living your values to achieve your goals. It is the power that flows through you when you are connected to and feel your oneness with your heart centred Purpose. It is the power that is the eventual result of doing deep inner emotional and sometimes spiritual work to heal the fears and limiting beliefs acquired in childhood.
Without this inner work to heal the LIMITING BELIEFS that create our limitations and produce barriers that stop us moving forward and achieving the success we desire, we then get stuck in our egos, our wounded selves. The very basis of the ego is the desire for control, for power over others and outcomes.
Our Alter Ego
Our ego is the self we created to attempt to have control over getting love, avoiding pain, and feeling safe. We create our ego self which I call IMPOSTER SYNDROME. We wear a mask or live as an imposter in our skin in our attempt to protect ourselves from the losses we fear:
Loss of self
Loss of other
Loss of security
Loss of face.
So where does this alter ego come from?
As children, when we didn’t get the love we needed, we decided that our true self must be unlovable. In our attempt to feel safe, we buried our true Self and created the false self – the ego, our wounded self. The ego self then went about learning how to feel safe through trying to control others and outcomes. The ego believes that having control over how people see us and feel about us, as well as over the outcome of things, will give us the safety we seek.
Well let me tell you as someone who wore a mask and experienced imposter syndrome when working as a Senior Manager (HR & Training) in corporate organisations this strategy did not serve me well, in fact I ended up overwhelmed, stressed, unfulfilled, unhappy and burnt out as do many of my clients.
Even if you do manage to have some control through anger, criticism, judgment, or money, this will never give you THE PERSONAL POWER you seek. Living as an imposter long term, will never fill you with peace and joy and an inner sense of safety. Control may give you a sense of safety short term, but it will never give you the deep sense of safety that comes from knowing your intrinsic worth and what you want in life.
All the while that your safety and worth are being defined by external sources and material things such as your money, your looks, your performance, your power over others – you will feel not only feel anxious but will also feel unfulfilled. By concentrating on eternal qualities such as gratitude, caring, compassion, and kindness we feel more fulfilled our values are met, we live our PURPOSE, live AUTHENTICALLY and helps us claim our POWER back.
For example, I have come across many people who have made lots of money, have a great lifestyle, a lovely family yet they are anxious and unfulfilled. They are so busy building their empire and financial status, they have no time for friends, family, leisure interests which leads to loneliness, heartache and unhappiness.
These people operate totally out of their ego self, believing that having control through anger and money will bring him the happiness and safety they seek. They are empty inside and have no sense of their true and amazing self or the beauty within them. Life is based on externals rather than on the spiritual values of love, compassion, honesty and kindness.
Five Ways to Re-claim your Inner Power for success!
Personal power comes from:
Embracing your core values & living by them
Discovering and knowing your authentic self
Believe and love yourself (warts and all)
Have clear goals and aims
Know your worth and never accept second best
When the soul has dominion over the body, you have tremendous personal power and create your own future, get clarity on your destination and goals to achieve the success you DESERVE and DESIRE.
When you ‘Claim back your Power’ live authentically, re-boost your CONFIDENCE and courage, know your WORTH then you will have the power to manifest your dreams into reality and live a happy and fulfilled life. Because once you have claimed your power back YOU CAN ACHIEVE ANYTHING!!
‘Behind the Mask’ is Andree’s literary debut about ‘Authenticity.’ It’s an essential interactive step by step guide to self-discovery to help you turn your life around and claim back your inner power chapter by chapter – www.behind-the-mask-book.com
Call me today +44 (0)7702 818665 to arrange a 15 minute Clarity Call to find out how I can help you achieve the success and growth you want in your life. Alternatively email me at training@afcconsultants.co.uk
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Andrée Funnell, Senior Level Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Andrée is a multi-award-winning Coach, Learning & Development Consultant, best-selling author, and speaker. She is the founder and driving force behind the success of Aspiring Future Competence (AFC). Since its inception in 2002, AFC has helped clients across a wide range of business sectors to get visible, get heard, and get ahead by applying inspirational ways to bring about positive change and empowerment. She has over 20 years of HR & training experience working in corporate organizations and a further 20 years delivering development solutions that make a difference to people’s careers and lives. She is a qualified coach, professional trainer, and NLP Practitioner. She discovered that Authenticity is the key to happiness, fulfillment, and success and is keen to get the message out there to others. ‘Behind the Mask’ is Andrée’s literary debut about ‘Authenticity.’ It’s an essential interactive step-by-step guide to turning your life around and achieving the kind of life you deserve by living authentically.
