Culture Is What Happens When You're Not in the Room
- Sep 26, 2025
- 6 min read
Updated: Sep 29, 2025
Written by Joe Patneaude, Executive Coach
Joe Patneaude is an Executive Coach and creator of the STAR Scalability℠ Method. He helps business owners and leaders scale financial services firms efficiently. He is the author of Follow the STAR: Unlock Monumental Business Growth and a certified Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) Practitioner.
Most leaders think they have a good read on their company culture. “We’ve got a strong team.” “My people know they can come to me.” “We’re like a family here.” But culture isn’t about slogans or open-door policies, it’s about what your team actually experiences every day, especially when pressure hits and you’re not in the room to manage it.
I’ve worked with leaders who truly care about their people but who are blindsided when those same people start to disengage, quietly resist change, or leave without warning. The truth? The disconnect wasn’t about intent. It was about perception, structure, and follow-through.
Culture doesn’t live in the handbook or the town hall. It lives in the conversations behind closed doors, in how delegation is handled, and in how leadership reacts when things don’t go as planned.
The disconnect: Leader’s perspective vs. Team reality
One of the most common patterns I see with business owners and executives is this. They believe the culture is healthy until something goes wrong.
Turnover spikes. Deadlines start slipping. The leadership team feels like they’re dragging everyone instead of leading them.
And suddenly, they’re left wondering, “When did this happen?” The truth is, culture doesn’t break all at once. It erodes silently when leaders unintentionally operate in a vacuum.
From the top, things can look fine:
Work is getting done (mostly)
No one’s complaining (directly)
Team meetings feel upbeat (on the surface)
But behind the scenes, a different story might be playing out:
Staff aren’t clear on priorities or decision-making channels.
Delegation feels like blame-shifting.
“Open-door policy” really means “don’t bother them unless it’s urgent.”
Top performers are stretched thin, while underperformers are tolerated.
Tension is growing over unbalanced workloads or unclear roles.
Personal relationships, positive or negative, are starting to influence how decisions get made and how work gets distributed.
When leaders don’t have a clear, structured view of how their team is experiencing the business, they tend to overestimate engagement and underestimate resistance. And when cultural issues go unaddressed, strategy always suffers, no matter how solid the plan looks on paper.
Real-world consequences: When culture and control collide
Not long ago, I observed a high-performing financial services firm that had built its reputation on employee-first values. The culture was warm, community-focused, and had driven impressive growth in a short span of time. From the outside, it looked like a model business.
But behind the scenes, a slow unraveling had begun, one rooted in a leadership blind spot.
The CEO (we’ll call him “Rick”) struggled to truly let go as the firm expanded. He had hired smart, experienced professionals, but decisions still had to run through him or his spouse. Delegation existed on paper, but not in practice. Responsibility was assigned, but authority was withheld.
Worse, when staff made decisions within their scope, Rick would often shift priorities after the fact to justify criticizing their choices. This became a recurring dynamic and eventually, a running joke among staff. While few openly challenged him, frustration ran deep. Those who did speak up were often chastised or belittled in front of others.
Within six months, the consequences became impossible to ignore:
Key leaders and advisors left
Processes broke down under micromanagement
A firm known for explosive growth entered a prolonged period of stagnation.
The irony? Rick genuinely wanted the business to succeed and cared deeply about his team. But his need to feel involved in everything slowly eroded the trust, autonomy, and alignment that culture depends on.
The most dangerous part? He didn’t see it happening. Because no one was openly pushing back, he believed the team was on board until it was too late.
Culture rarely breaks loudly. It slips quietly. And by the time the signs are obvious, the damage is already well underway.
The real fix: What culture actually requires
Culture isn’t built on slogans or strategy decks. It’s built in the everyday actions of leadership and reinforced by how decisions are made, shared, and responded to.
If there's one thing that I've learned coaching executives across growing financial services firms, it’s this, your team doesn’t need perfection. They need clarity. They need consistency. And above all, they need to trust that leadership means what it says.
Here’s what a strong, sustainable culture actually requires
1. Delegation with real authority
Delegation without authority is just blame waiting to happen. When leaders assign responsibility but retain all the power, they create confusion and resentment. Trust is built when people are empowered to act and supported when things go sideways.
2. Predictable reactions from leadership
Culture isn’t just shaped by what leaders say, it’s shaped by how they respond. Do you shift priorities without warning? Do you undermine your own leaders in front of others? Or do you allow for mistakes while reinforcing alignment and accountability?
3. Visibility into workload and dynamics
Just because your team isn’t speaking up doesn’t mean they’re fine. Leaders need structured ways to understand workload equity, interpersonal dynamics, and operational friction points. If you’re only hearing from the same few voices, or if updates only come in crisis mode, your blind spots are growing.
4. Aligned expectations across the organization
If your leadership team is preaching “culture first” but rewarding only production or agreeability, your values aren’t aligned. Culture is reflected in what gets prioritized, celebrated, and enforced. Consistency here sends a powerful message, and inconsistency sends an even louder one.
5. Humility that builds connection, not distance
Many leaders worry that admitting mistakes or changing direction makes them look weak. But the opposite is often true. When leaders own their missteps and model growth, it builds credibility. It shows the team that feedback is welcome, evolution is expected, and trust goes both ways. Humility isn’t a soft skill, it’s a leadership multiplier.
The STAR connection: The “T” in team
This is exactly why the “T” in the STAR Scalability℠ Method stands for more than just hiring the right people. It’s about structure, communication, and cultural alignment.
A strong team isn't just a collection of talented individuals, it’s a system. One that functions only when expectations are clear, authority is respected, and the environment allows people to contribute without fear of hidden landmines or shifting standards.
When I work with clients, we don’t just map out reporting lines. We clarify who has decision-making power, how communication flows, and where cultural misalignment might already be causing tension. Because no growth strategy works without team alignment, and no team stays aligned when leadership is out of sync with the culture it’s trying to build.
A disconnected team will quietly resist your goals. A structured, empowered one will drive them forward.
Conclusion
You don’t need a perfect culture. But you do need an honest one. If your team is disengaged, unclear, or quietly frustrated, it’s not a sign that your people are the problem. It’s a signal that your systems and your leadership rhythms need attention.
The good news? Cultural misalignment is fixable. But only if you’re willing to stop assuming, start asking, and lead with the humility and clarity your team deserves. Because at the end of the day, culture isn’t what you say it is.
It’s what your team experiences, especially when you’re not in the room.
If you're ready to build a business that scales and supports your team, explore the STAR Scalability℠ Method here.
Read more from Joe Patneaude
Joe Patneaude, Executive Coach
Joe Patneaude is a Certified Executive Coach who helps business owners and leaders scale with purpose, clarity, and confidence. After rising through the ranks in financial services—from the mailroom to the C-suite—Joe realized that true success isn’t just about growth, but about alignment with personal values. This insight led him to develop the STAR Scalability℠ Method, a practical framework that guides business owners to scale in a way that supports both profitability and well-being. Today, he coaches leaders ready to move beyond burnout and build thriving, scalable businesses. He is also the author of Follow the STAR: Unlock Monumental Business Growth and a certified NLP Practitioner.
