Creating One Shared Story Through Couples Therapy
Written by Rita Baki, Human Performance & EQ Consultant
Rita Baki is a certified coach and emotional intelligence specialist who works at the intersection of neuroscience, somatic psychology, and emotional resilience. She supports executives and emerging leaders through evidence-based coaching and tailored programs that strengthen leadership, well-being, and human performance.
Every relationship holds two perspectives, shaped by personal experiences, expectations and emotional needs. Couples therapy creates a space where both partners can feel heard, explore the patterns that influence their connection and navigate differences with greater understanding. Beyond communication skills, it invites couples to explore vulnerability, acceptance and the unspoken challenges that affect intimacy. Whether they are facing difficulties or seeking a stronger bond, the process can help them build a shared story that honors both individual truths.
One room, one story, two valid truths. It takes courage to show up for yourself. It takes grace to show up for the one you love. Couples therapy is changing, and for the better.
When should couples seek therapy?
Couples therapy still carries a bit of a stigma, almost like an alarm bell has gone off, warning everyone that a relationship is doomed unless a third party steps in to mediate. Dramatic? Definitely. Here’s what I have to say about this.
Couples therapy is simply a structured space where relational dynamics become visible and are addressed. It is the medium through which each partner can show up authentically with their willingness to understand themselves and the other person. It is a space where all emotions are welcomed, and couples can finally reconnect, repair or find greater harmony. In other words, any couple, at any stage in their relationship, can use this medium to strengthen their bonds, work through their anxieties and plan for the future.
The therapist here becomes a third party who interjects when necessary to prompt reflection, regulation and mutual understanding while maintaining a balanced stance. Their presence can model what safe, regulated communication looks like, helping defuse tension when needed or supporting the couple as they work through it together.
Emerging research in couples therapy and what to expect
Couples therapy extends beyond learning communication skills and underscores relational patterns and acceptance: No matter how many times one practices the “I” statements, these scripts will remain inauthentic unless the person feels safe enough to be vulnerable and honest. Therefore, couples therapy now focuses on the underlying emotions and obstacles that unintentionally impact the relational dynamics. With this level of awareness comes the balancing act of compromising and accepting differences to help each couple lay the foundation they wish to build their future on.
Assessments create the appropriate structure for effective results: Initial assessments are crucial to beginning collaborative, effective work with couples. This is because every individual in the room comes with personal strengths, vulnerabilities, expectations and goals. Some couples show up for completely different reasons that remain unspoken, and creating space for this conversation is part of the work.
Individual problems can have relational impact: Even when one partner is navigating depression, anxiety, trauma or substance use, the effects rarely remain confined to the individual. Couples therapy can help both partners understand the relational consequences of those difficulties without turning one partner into either the problem or the solution.
How I navigate challenges as a couples therapist
Balancing ethical practice with genuine care: Being a couples therapist means creating a safe environment for two individuals where both feel equally heard and understood. This means being vigilant in maintaining adequate boundaries, ensuring safety from coercion or aggression, and being responsible with documentation.
Focusing on the unspoken: To some extent, intimacy and sexuality remain unspoken, especially in countries where such themes are considered taboo. Discussions of these themes also exist within a wider context of financial circumstances, family structures and access to support, all of which influence how couples experience intimacy and conflict. My role is to acknowledge the different needs of each couple, including those around closeness and affection. Therapy should help couples negotiate these differences rather than impose one model of intimacy.
Cultural sensitivity without assumptions: Culture shapes expectations about commitment, family, gender, emotional expression and even what a “healthy relationship” looks like. Despite cultural differences, it is the therapist’s role to honor the autonomy and authenticity of each couple they support.
Ultimately, couples therapy is about creating enough safety and understanding for two valid truths to exist in the same room while helping the couple build a shared story they can both choose to move forward with.
If this newsletter speaks to you, share your thoughts. Come with your partner and reserve your spot with me. I am one click away.
Read more from Rita Baki
Rita Baki, Human Performance & EQ Consultant
Rita Baki is a certified coach and emotional intelligence specialist who works at the intersection of neuroscience, somatic psychology, and emotional resilience. She collaborates with individuals, couples, and medical professionals to address the psychological dimensions that influence recovery and quality of life. Rita recognizes that every path to healing is unique, and her own inner journey ignited her passion to help others find their own path. Her work is anchored in a simple yet powerful philosophy: Meaningful, sustainable change begins with inner alignment.
References:
Aviram, A. (2024). Boundaries in online couples therapy: “Can anything exist without boundaries?” Family Relations, 73(5), 3473–3492.
Goktan, A. J., & Henry, M. C. (2024). The social determinants of sexual and reproductive health in integrative sex and couples counseling: A structural competence perspective. Journal of Counseling Sexology & Sexual Wellness: Research, Practice, and Education, 5(2), 50–59.
Haverkampf, C. J. (2025). Couple counselling: Assessment, communication, safety, and relational change. Read the paper
Lebow, J., & Snyder, D. K. (2022). Couple therapy in the 2020s: Current status and emerging developments. Family Process, 61(4), 1359–1385.
Rokach, A. (2024). Love culturally: How does culture affect intimacy, commitment & love. The Journal of Psychology, 158(1), 84–114.
