Written by: Vince Morales, Senior Level Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Resilience is the ability to adapt to adversity and bounce back from setbacks, and it is a crucial skill for dealing with mental and emotionally challenging times. There are many ways to develop resilience, including building a support network, setting realistic goals, and practicing self-care.
Additionally, it is essential to be mindful of the dangers of being too resilient, such as becoming overly stressed or taking on too much responsibility. By understanding what helps create resilience, you can build this essential skill into your life and better deal with challenging situations.
Building Mental and Emotional Resilience into Your Life
Everyone experiences setbacks and challenges in life. The goal is not to avoid them but to learn how to deal with them in a healthy and constructive way. There are many ways to create resilience, both mentally and emotionally. Some helpful techniques include:
Focusing on positive thinking and looking for the unseen benefit in challenging situations.
Keeping things in perspective and not dwelling on negative thoughts or emotions.
Developing a support network of family, friends, or professionals who can offer guidance and understanding.
Accepting that change is a part of life and that there will be good and bad days.
Learning from mistakes and using them as an opportunity to grow. By building resilience, you will be better equipped to handle whatever challenges come your way.
Empowering Resilience in my Own Life
One of my fears in 2015 was that one day soon, I would be another San Diego, CA, statistic as a homeless veteran. We would come to realize that on April 3rd, 2016. My wife and I are authoring a book about that experience. I will not go deep into our story right now, but during that time my wife and I had to function at a level of resilience we had never experienced before. We had many experiences where we had to be resilient, including the near loss of our first son in 1989, followed by the subsequent loss of our baby in 1989 through a miscarriage, a previous brief homeless time, several vehicle repossessions, having our utilities and water shut off, evictions, a foreclosure of our home, and even getting lost near a former nuclear test site in the desert of Nevada.
During our homeless time, I had an emotional and mental collapse. It was everything to stir up strength while the family decided whether to commit me to a VA hospital. Within two months following that precipice of collapse, I settled in one moment that would put us on the path to our victory over homelessness. Emotions are important, but while emotions make a wonderful servant, they make a terrible master. But I also learned that seeking mental health assistance is the way of the warrior.
In August 2016, we went all in with launching our coaching business. We were resolute in putting on a new mindset. While we were still homeless, we started feeding homeless folks. My wife found a job working in renewable energy. The folks at her job never had any idea when she would leave her shift in the morning; she was heading to her minivan to try to sleep before the next shift. That was a sweltering summer, and while I was writing e-books and constructing the coaching business (and reconstructing my mindset) in the local coffee shop, she was trying to get some sleep in a 100+ degree van. We were able to acquire a small battery-operated fan to provide her some relief from the heat while she slept.
“Seeking mental health assistance is the way of the warrior.” ‒ Vince Morales
Five Tips for Developing a More Resilient Mindset
One of the most important things you can do when facing adversity is to develop a resilient mindset. A resilient mindset allows you to adapt and adjust in the face of difficult circumstances. My homeless experience inspired me to pursue a resilience coaching niche among several other niches.
Resilient people can maintain their sense of hope and optimism even in the face of setbacks and adversity. They understand that setbacks are a natural part of life and that they can learn from their experiences. Here are some tips for developing a more resilient mindset:
Acknowledge your feelings: It is vital to acknowledge your feelings when facing adversity. Do not try to bottle up your emotions or pretend everything is okay when it is not. Allow yourself to feel angry, sad, or scared. Acknowledging your feelings will help you process them and move on. Just do not let your emotions become master. Your emotions must always serve you, never master you.
Seek support: When you are facing a challenging situation, it can be helpful to seek out support from family and friends. Just knowing that you are not alone can make a significant difference. Talking to someone who understands what you are going through can also be helpful. Remember, seeking help is the way of the warrior.
Focus on what you can control: When dealing with adversity, it is essential to focus on what you can control. You cannot control the situation that you are in, but you can control how you react to it. Instead of dwelling on things out of your control, focus on what you can do to make the best of the situation.
Be prepared for setbacks: It is important to remember that setbacks are a normal part of life, and no one ever achieves their goals without experiencing setbacks. When you accept this fact, it will be easier to bounce back from disappointments and keep moving forward toward your goals. Manage expectations and be fair to yourself. Embrace your failures. The way I reframed our setbacks during our homeless time was simply to view them as a new rung towards building a ladder out of our homeless circumstance. I reframed failure this way:
“FAILURE” or “FAI-LURE”
FAI = Chinese for new start or beginning
Lure = To draw in
FAILURE: Drawing in a new start or new beginning
Learn from your experiences: Adversities provide an opportunity for growth and learning. Instead of seeing them as negative experiences, reframe them as lessons that will make you stronger and more resilient. Ask yourself what you can learn from the situation and how you can use what you have learned to cope with the future. The power of reframing is vital in the resilient mindset.
Vince Morales, Senior Level Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Vince Morales is a mindset, self-image, and resilience coach. In addition, he is skilled in leadership consultation and development. From April 2016 to June 2017, Vince was a homeless veteran in San Diego, CA. While homeless, he made a powerful decision to change his thinking and mindset, launching into life coaching. He developed a niche for resilience and mindset coaching. The growth of his business ultimately led to the end of his homelessness. Vince is the Founder of Validus Coaching & Consulting, formerly Zoe Transformation. His story has been featured in online articles and online news outlets all over the U.S. He is a certified John Maxwell Team Coach, Trainer, & Speaker, as well as a motivational speaker. In 2021, Vince earned his Master's degree in Psychology of Leadership from Penn State University and is currently a doctoral student pursuing a Ph.D. in Performance Psychology. He is a 2020 inductee into The National Society of Leadership and Success.