Choose To Be Free – How To Get Empowered Through Forgiveness
- Dec 16, 2022
- 6 min read
Updated: Jan 23, 2024
Written by: Tanja Bogataj, M.Sc., Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Which word, starting with ‘F’, is the most impactful for you? Freedom, Focus, Fly, Food, Fear, Failure, Face, Flower, Fun, Friend, Free, Fearful, Fearless, Fast, Full, Fool, Forward, Forgive, Forget, Foresee, Fight, or maybe some other “F” word? And what’s the impact of this chosen word, if you’d hear it from a ‘friend’ or ‘frenemy’? And if this ‘friend’ or ‘frenemy’ is actually YOU, what’s the impact of this word on you/your life? In this article I invite you to a ‘F’ dance party ‒ Dancing with Life, with its endings, beginnings, and all the life and living in between, and with an empowerment opportunity using a powerful ‘F’ word ‒ ‘forgive’/‘forgiveness’. So, shall we? Let’s do the ‘F’ dance.
I. Dancing with Life
As they say, every ending is a new beginning. Our lives are a series of moments we spend in these ongoing ending-beginning cycles, and processes in between. It’s important to take the time here and then to reflect, and to celebrate our lives with all our choices, courage, scars, laughs, tears, wins, loses, ups and downs, and everything in between. There are so many opportunities that we can learn and grow from. It can be very empowering and inspiring to reflect back on all these for us differently important, some bigger, some smaller shifts, crossroads, decisions and choices, and ‘detours’ on our pathways. What’s called from us when reflecting is to acknowledge who’s become, our learned lessons, and what needs to be released while we continue our journey. There might be a sense of insecurity and uncertainty in these transitions. In any way, we are each time given the opportunity to question and answer again and again what’s our why, what, how, where, with whom. We can find our security and certainty by being in learners’ mindset, and by being curious seekers of our truth. We are students of life during all lifetime anyway, and we might be also teachers to people who are in our life and to those we cross paths with for a shorter period of time for whatever reason. It’s about dancing with life. It’s an ongoing dance. We are the creators of the dance, dancers, and dancing partners. We are the masterpiece, and work in progress at the same time. It’s so empowering and liberating when we are dancing with our life, and with each other. Our dance and dancing might not be perfect, and yet we might get really close to the ‘life’s perfection as it is’ when we are fully into our life, living it as best as we know how to, and allowing others to have this freedom as well.
Being here and now, can you acknowledge what’s your end and a new beginning today? Who do you need to be to manifest your today’s hearts’ desires? Who do you need to be to create the impact that you desire to create?
Are you up for some dance party? Let’s do the ‘F’ dance today, and create a magic in/from our life and its experience/-s.
II. Empowerment Opportunity ‒ The ‘F’ Dance
Which word, starting with ‘F’, is the most impactful for you? Freedom, Focus, Fly, Food, Fear, Failure, Face, Flower, Fun, Friend, Free, Fearful, Fearless, Frighten, Fast, Full, Fool, Forward, Forgive, Forget, Foresee, Fight, or maybe some other “F” word? Let’s explore further. What would be an impact of this chosen word, if you’d hear it from a ‘friend’ or ‘frenemy’? And if this ‘friend’ or ‘frenemy’ is actually YOU, what’s the impact on you/your life in this situation? You might hear people say ‘I can’t forgive’, ‘this is too…for me to forgive’, ‘I’m … at myself, don’t know how I’ll forgive myself for this…’, and even ‘I won’t forgive’, or ‘I don’t forgive..’. Are you among them? Do you know how much freedom and power you give away if you are? One of the biggest blockages to our inner power and freedom, and the impact we desire to create, is the block that we create when we choose 'I don’t / can’t / won’t forgive’. I’ve created an online program ‘Get empowered for the desired impact in any chosen situation’ to help people who are struggling with forgiveness, and/or suffering because they’ve experiences some kind of unfairness, injustice, or even betrayal, to free and empower themselves through ‘forgive/-ness’. In the following I share with you an easy applicable and effective (if you do it) exercise on how to get empowered by working with the power of ‘forgive’ and ‘forgiveness’. If you’re among those struggling with ‘forgiving’, and ‘forgiveness’, there are two proven ways how you can make it easier for yourself, at least to start with. One way is to see the ‘forgiving’ and ‘forgiveness’ as a part of the ‘gratitude’ practice, and the other is to add some humour into your human experience.
Exercise: be powerful and free® The ‘F’ dance A to Z and then some empowerment
Listen to the recordings of the Mind-stretching be powerful and free® session on “The ‘F’ word ‒ From A to Z empowerment and then some” (here's the video, duration 32:29, exercise starts at 10:55, and completes around 30:00).
What’s the empowering wisdom from your Human (Sloveneword ‘Človek’) School (Slovene word ‘Šola’) of Life (Slovene word ‘Življenje’) experience?
Do the LIFT UP:
Love the part of you that needed/needs forgiveness.
“I am forgiving myself …”
Forgive yourself some more. Choose a new empowerment ‘F’ word for yourself.
“True gift in my forgiveness is …”
“Universal truth in my experience is …”
Pause for a moment, and notice what’s now available for you?
III. And then some: Celebrating Life an Living
“December is a time when we might notice and appreciate endings and beginnings more than usual. It’s time when we might express our gratitude for what was and is, and share our hope and best wishes for what’s coming. For me, December is a month of celebration, a celebration of life and living. Endings are a great mirror, reminder, indicator, and multiplier of/for the new – how we can appreciate our life and lives of others more, and how we can bring more life into our living already now. Being inspired by Osho’s quote, ‘Life should not only be lived, it should be celebrated’, I encourage us to add ‘Celebration of life and living’ on our daily schedule.’
One speaker at my dad's funeral said that pain is the experience of being alive and those who stay. It's us thinking about what we’ve lost, are losing, or will lose that makes it difficult, and painful. We experience many endings and beginnings on our path, and both have its challenges. Saying goodbye to people, relationships, age, abilities, possibilities, opportunities, expectations, beliefs, even feelings might be as challenging as it is to open up to the new, uncertain, and not yet experienced. To stay open and in a learners’ mindset for endings and new beginnings in different shapes and forms along our journey, I often revisit the exercise ‘I live today as it was my last day’.(paraphrased from my blog post Saying Goodbyes, 2018).
“Life happens when we make plans for something else.” ‒ John Lennon
I share this article as on the one hand an empowerment opportunity, and on the other as a gentle reminder to all of us to be more aware that we are a drop, an ocean, and also waves co-creating waves in between. We are powerful as we are in our truth, and we make an impact, whatever we choose to do with our power and freedom.
There’s so much power and freedom in ‘forgive’ and ‘forgiveness’. Why not explore it? Why not release it? Why not live it, give it, share it? Let’s meet for another ‘F’ dance party in a year from now. I wish you Feel Free on your be powerful and free journey till we meet again!
‘Your are not the drop in an ocean, You Are The Entire Ocean In The Drop. Don’t grieve, Everything you lose Comes Around in another form. Don’t sit and wait, Go Feel Life. Shine like the Whole Universe Is Yours.’ ‒ Rumi
Tanja Bogataj, M.Sc., Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Tanja Bogataj, M.Sc. (www.tanjabogataj.com | tanjabogatajcoaching@gmail.com) is a Leadership Coach and Consultant, Founder of the be powerful and free® approach, Host of be powerful and free Platform, Founder and CEO of the Power for Change Institute. Tanja’s motto “In the world where you can be anything, choose to be powerful and free while making a difference”.
Sources and References:
Tanja Bogataj, Celebrating Life and Living, be powerful and free® Platform, blog post https:// bepowerfulandfree.com/celebrating-life-and-living/, 2018;
Tanja Bogataj, Saying Goodbyes,be powerful and free® Platform, blog post https://bepowerfulandfree.com/saying-goodbyes/,2018;
Tanja Bogataj, “The ‘F’ Word - From A to Z empowerment and then some”, Mind-stretching be powerful and free® Session, TBC YouTube Channel, https://youtu.be/JbAOhEUJZFI, December 2022;
