Business Feature – Three Ways To Navigate Life Transitions With Care
- Dec 14, 2021
- 5 min read
Written by: Tricia-Kay Williams, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
I come across international students who are seas away from their families. They are in a new environment with no social support. I help couples navigate communication, conflict resolution and parenting before and during the marriage. I help families who are separating or divorcing navigate co-parenting while in conflict. And I help individuals and families through the pain and sorrow of grief and loss when a loved one dies. Navigating transitions is quite normal, yet many have difficulty because of increased anxiety and the lack of life skills.
During my transition journey, I realized how important past experiences impact and inform the present and then dictate the future. Therefore, I primarily help emerging adults, couples, and families transition to understand their past in my practice. I then provide them with the skills, tools, and techniques to live fully in the present to make the best decisions for the future.
My name is Tricia-Kay Williams, and I am a Clinical Counsellor and Consultant. I founded a mental health practice called Metamorphose Counselling and Consultation Ltd. in January of 2018. I learnt a lot from the youth and families I worked with within non-profit organizations. Therefore, I wanted to create a practice that would assist individuals, couples, and families in gaining the skills and tools needed to transition well.
My success has been creating a platform to normalize seeking help, reduce mental health stigma, and create a business known for transition services. I am living out my dream of helping others heal mental wounds and find their purpose while getting unstuck.
There are three things individuals should remember when going through a transition:
1. Transitions are a normal part of life, and it is supposed to be challenging and different.
As Homo Sapiens, we are constantly evolving, changing as we age. We are all born as babies; we live about 13-18 years of life dependent on others for our education and survival. Then, during the teen years, we start to think about independence and identity and begin the differentiation of self. Differentiation of Self, as defined by research Murry Bowen is, “A person with a well-differentiated “self” recognizes his (their) realistic dependence on others, but he (they) can stay calm and clear-headed enough in the face of conflict, criticism, and rejection to distinguish thinking rooted in a careful assessment of the facts from thinking clouded by emotionality.” As we exit the teen years, we emerge as adults who learn the art of interdependence and relationships, whether friendships, relatives, or romantic partnerships. We explore sexuality, we partner up romantically, and we experience heartbreak. The cycle continues until one finds a lifetime partnership in which we practice trust and commitment. Then if the partners choose to bring a life into the world the process, starts again for the new Homo Sapiens. Finally, the new child leaves home to begin a life of their own. The original partners are left to maintain a relationship without the child(ren)’s dependence. Finally, we all die, and this loss is challenging to navigate for everyone. I should pause here to say that the above is an ideal situation where many are grateful to find themselves. Yet even in the perfect condition, we find that challenges can make these everyday life experiences unbearable, and we need help making sense of things. These challenges arise from our unique interpretation of the world based on our life experiences and attachment style.
Earlier I mentioned what a well-differentiated self is like, and I described the ideal situation for that person; what if a person has a poorly differentiated self? What happens then? Murry Bowen continued by indicating that a person who is poorly differentiated may “depend so heavily on the acceptance and approval of others that they either quickly adjust what they think, say, and do to please others or they dogmatically proclaim what others should be like and pressure them to conform.” For these individuals, life transitions can be particularly challenging because of their need for approval and their need for others to conform. Hazan and Shaver (1987) shared their insight into adult relationships and how these attachment styles are formed based on how infants were treated. “According to Hazan and Shaver, the emotional bond that develops between adult romantic partners is partly a function of the same motivational system--the attachment behavioural system--that gives rise to the emotional bond between infants and their caregivers.” I help clients better understand their emotional attachment to their parents and bring them into awareness of the beliefs and values they took from that relationship. This awareness helps to normalize their experience and understand how the past impacts the present.
2. I think that individuals who are going through life transitions need to seek help.
This help can be from your friends, families, and romantic partners. In addition, you can watch YouTube videos, listen to podcasts, and read/use self-help books. If you have tried all the above and still have difficulty navigating through your transitions, I would recommend seeking professional help. I offer a free 30-minute consultation to help determine if we are a good fit. I can also share resources to help you find the right Counsellor or Coach.
3. Learn the art of practicing Self-care.
The most important part of navigating the transition is to learn the art of reducing anxiety by practicing self-care. Although there are many ways to practice self-care, I find that the self-care journey is subjective and takes trial and error and patience to master. I can also help you identify what will work best for you by providing you with tools.
I hope the above tips will be helpful for you as you navigate your personal and professional transitions. Lastly, I started a YouTube channel because I wanted to normalize our challenges as homo sapiens. The videos provide a sense of hope, community, and resilience to those feeling stuck and alone in their experience. So many individuals feel isolated in their stories of transition. While everyone’s story is unique, it is essential to share the similarities to reduce the stigma of seeking help.
I hope the stories will positively impact individuals globally and spread hope and resilience. It also shares the message that we can be inclusive and diverse in our sharing. Equality is possible if we all choose to work together and embrace difference.
Tricia-Kay Williams, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Tricia-Kay Williams is a Registered Clinical Counsellor and Coach. She has extensive experience counselling individuals and families previously at Not-For-Profit agencies and then transitioned to private practice where she helps emerging adults transition well.
Tricia is skilled in treating: Trauma, Anxiety, Transitional/Career and Relational issues. She is also an active community and social services professional who works with organizations to improve diversity, equity and inclusion.
Tricia is also very passionate about working with emerging adults and families. As she believes a family is a small unit that reflects the broader community, city, country and even the world. Therefore, by making a small change or impact on one individual or family unit, there is potential for more significant transformation globally.
