Breaking The Cycle Of A Dysfunctional Family Starts With You!
- Jul 12, 2022
- 4 min read
Written by: Antonie Ziegler, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Seeing unhealthy family patterns and deciding that those patterns will not continue with you, is a strong and powerful decision. What you are able to end with you, will not be passed down to future generations, and will also bring healing to your ancestors, both living and deceased.
There are certain things in your family that you absolutely hated, like how things were spoken or not spoken, or how you were treated as a child. Maybe there was addiction in the house. You probably told yourself many times that when you grew up you would never do the same. Did you actually do it?
We are all good people. We all want the best for our families. But there is trauma that puts us good people into pain. We show up in the best way we can, but the imprints of hurt, childhood trauma, inherited patterns, and beliefs make us show up in a way that is painful to ourselves, others, and the world at large.
Even if we are aware of the imprints our traumas have left on us, we need the right tools and practices to heal. We can pat ourselves on the shoulder that we made it this far despite all the wounds we experienced in childhood, but are we really fine?
My dear past client always wanted to be as far away from their parents as possible. They had experienced deep childhood trauma, and couldn’t let go of the emotions related to the poisonous relationships they had within their family.
The only way out for them was moving away as far as they could, only to find themselves stuck in the same patterns they experienced in their family: mistrusting people, being harsh towards others, being unapproachable, showing no love and empathy, working hard to gather the fruits, namely money and acknowledgment.
How can you let go and heal these patterns that are so deeply ingrained in you that they follow you all over the world?
My client couldn’t let go of their stories of the past and blamed their family and life circumstances for what they had gone through. They had to learn to look at life lessons from a different angle. They had to learn to look beyond the actual storyline to see and understand the gifts and opportunities that they were provided with.
Through my guidance, they began to recognize the divine choreography of their life’s story and started slowly to see the deeper truth of who they were: loving, caring, emphatic, strong, willful, and independent. They learned to appreciate who their true self was, and how to show up better for themselves and the people around them.
Yet, there was still a part of them that could not forgive their deceased parent. They found themselves stuck in a state of resentment, anger and hate towards them. They needed to find forgiveness and compassion towards their parent in order to break free of their own narrative of not feeling loved and appreciated for who they were.
I suggested to do an ancestral constellation where my client would give themselves and their parent the opportunity to speak to the poisonous relationship in a non-judgmental way.
This process was taught to me through the Four Winds Society and is such a powerful tool to complete unfinished business with your loved ones, both living and deceased. It gives you and your ancestor an opportunity to speak the truth and bring healing into an unresolved or unspoken issue.
My function as the mediator in this process is to help you finding the voice of the ancestor, and the gifts and blessings they have for you. I support you to find ways how to show up differently the next time you get triggered by something or someone. As you’ve learned to not take things personal anymore, it will make you a better partner, parent, friend, and colleague
Profound healing happens for you, the ancestors, any other living descendants, and the future generations.
In my client's case, both sides got a voice, and the experience was amazing. My client found peace with their parent as they also learned to understand where their parent came from and how their upbringing and cultural circumstances made them who they were.
As a result of this my client was able to be a good person without the pain that made them stuck in their old narrative. They started writing a new story of hope, and care, and compassion for themselves, the family they were born into, and the people around them.
If you’re ready for a healing conversation with someone in your family so that you can make a shift towards a life that is more than just fine and become the person you desire to be, send me an email to antonie.ziegler@gmail.com and let’s get you into an effortless flow of balance, joy and connection.
Antonie Ziegler, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Antonie is a dedicated and certified deep dive transformational coach and shamanic energy medicine practitioner. She is committed to become the change she wishes to see in the world: happy, healthy and thriving. Having spent almost her whole life attempting to run, avoid and hide from the pain of her childhood, she dived deep into her own personal development and climbed out of her misery through what she now calls her “Cut Looze Formula”.
Antonie is passionate about helping others to heal and become the best version of themselves.
