"Break The Shell" Overcome Limiting Beliefs
- Brainz Magazine
- Nov 12, 2021
- 4 min read
Written by: Hamsah Smadi, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
It is said that hermit crabs live in abandoned shells that were left by sea snails to protect themselves from being easy prey for fishermen. They place themselves inside the shell that fits their size and continues carrying it with them. However, the same shell that is used for protection hinders the crab movement; it cannot respond quickly to any external threat while holding such weight, which in turn makes it an effortless hunt for fishermen.
It is ironic how we as humans adapt similar behavior sometimes, by trapping ourselves within familiar but negative thoughts and beliefs for so long thinking they well protect us from going through hard experiences, not knowing that the real trap is the one we are putting ourselves in.
“Limiting Beliefs” are represented in any idea that has an unpleasant effect on yourself. Any idea that makes you feel sad, hopeless, afraid, distrustful is a negative thought. Any idea that prevents you from progressing in achieving your goals, makes you fail to follow your dreams and makes you miss opportunities is negative and limiting. Any thought that keeps you spinning in a closed, endless and useless cycle is a negative thought.
Usually, negative thoughts come as a result of previous hurtful life experiences that affected us negatively, which make us judge every similar situation in the present based on the old experience. Although in part, this can help us to some extent to not do the same past mistakes again, we need to pay attention when these thoughts turn from being good lessons to toxic beliefs.
Thoughts like:
"I'm a failure and I can't succeed"
“The world is an awful place”
“I was born nervous and cannot change that”
“I am a bad mother”
“People will like me only if I become rich”
“I would never find good friends”
Do these sentences sound familiar?
These are just a few examples of the negative thoughts and beliefs with which we restrict ourselves and get used to their presence until they become part of our personalities and the way we view life and ourselves.
So, how to protect our inner self and welcome new opportunities at the same time?
Resilience instead of protective shells
Based on positive psychology, resilience is the ability to cope with “whatever life throws at you”.
Here are few steps in order to strengthen resilience:
Accept that change is a normal part of life, nothing remains the same forever. If you keep yourself apart from change, change will come to you, whether you like it or not.
Look for the good in the bad. We all agree on how hard and challenging some situations are, but we also need to see what advantages these situations might bring to us. For example, losing your current job “a stressful situation” might be the turning point for you to start your own business, follow your passion or live a completely different and better life.
Keep learning. Learning is a continuous process; the world is changing and expanding in so many ways. Learning a variety of skills in different life or work domains can equip you to be ready to deal with unexpected situations.
Get to know your own strengths. Identifying and activating your own strengths such as: bravery, hope, leadership, wisdom and love of learning and using them in the right time and manner can be a great aid to boost your self-confidence and hence your willingness to deal with risks.
Imprisoning yourself inside negative thoughts shell might protect you on the short run, however, on the long run, you will not be happier, more comfortable, relieved or more resilient if you continue losing life opportunities and dismissing new experiences, new friends, new projects and even new hard lessons.
An exercise for you –
Think of a decision or a situation, or even an opportunity that came to you recently when you refused to seize the opportunity or make that decision and surrendered yourself to some dark thoughts and reasons.
Now think about what arguments and reasons (limiting thoughts) you have told yourself and those around you to justify your inability to pursue that opportunity?
Can you now think of alternative ideas that you would like to have had in that situation or opportunity?
If you have that past opportunity again in the future, how will you react?
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Hamsah Smadi, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Hamsah Smadi is a certified positive psychology coach, who holds an MBA in Marketing and has worked as a university lecturer for several years. She has been always interested in studying human behavior and has given many workshops on positive psychology topics and coached dozens of people through individual coaching sessions, helping them identify their strengths and how to use them in the right balance to: achieve their goals, cope with difficulties, overcome obstacles and achieve their life goals.
As a loving mother of three active kids and a survivor of Fibromyalgia, she coaches mothers - especially with chronic illnesses such as Fibromyalgia - and help them manage parenting stress and feelings of guilt and inadequacy by focusing on strength points rather than weaknesses and turning motherhood into a more enjoyable role.
She has a published book titled: A Black Hole: The Journey of Self-Exploration from Chaos to Awakening in Arabic. In which she put the most important tools of positive psychology and ways to use them to improve life and achieve well-being.
