Better Out Than In – Why It’s About F*cking Time Women Start Swearing
- Brainz Magazine
- Sep 4, 2023
- 3 min read
Updated: May 31
Written by Dr Nina Shine, Clinical Psychologist | Psychotherapist | Executive Coach | Leadership Mentor
Helping women leaders reclaim their power, rewrite the story of power, and lead from the truth of who they are.
In a world that often attempts to silence women's voices and expressions, embracing cursing as a form of authentic self-expression can introduce a revolutionary act of women reclaiming their power. Once deemed inappropriate for women, swearing can profoundly affect our well-being, allowing women to break free from societal conditioning and connect with their authentic voices. In this article, I will delve into how cursing positively impacts women's well-being and challenges the traditional constructs of power that disconnect women from their authentic expression and limit their personal growth and access to power.
Unleashing emotional expression
Historically, women are expected to be demure and polite, suppressing their emotions to fit societal expectations and comply with the good girl/woman/wife conditioning. However, cursing offers women a vital and liberating outlet to release their emotions honestly and unapologetically. When traditional language fails to adequately express frustration, anger, or pain, cursing provides an avenue for expressing these emotions unapologetically. Swear words can punctuate the intensity of experiences that have been suppressed or dismissed, allowing women to break free from societal expectations of politeness and respectability. By swearing, women break free from emotional constraints, leading to a healthier emotional expression that fosters self-awareness and emotional growth
Redefining power and impact
Cursing allows us, women, to reclaim our power and agency over our language and communication, freeing us from complying with external expectations. Embracing the right to swear dismantles the notion that women should adhere to an authority or to what is stereotypically considered a more "feminine" and passive way of speaking. It allows women to take back the power to make choices about free expression and choice of language and assert confidently, both in personal relationships and professional environments.
Challenging patriarchal language norms
Language plays a significant role in perpetuating patriarchal norms, including the policing of women's speech. Embracing cursing in feminist circles challenges these deeply ingrained norms, urging society to recognize that women's language should not be subjected to different standards than men's. It reinforces the idea that gender equality extends to all facets of life, including the freedom to express oneself through language.
Reclaiming our voices
The act of cursing allows women to reclaim their voices and assert their right to be heard. It subverts the narrative that women's experiences are meant to be hushed or confined to whispers. By using strong and explicit language, we assert our agency and challenge the patriarchal power structures that have silenced women for far too long. Cursing acts as a powerful tool of defiance, allowing women to confront the oppressive norms and stereotypes that have perpetuated the neglect and marginalization of our experiences and concerns.
Fostering authenticity and self-acceptance
Through cursing, women embrace their authentic selves, unapologetically expressing their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. By disregarding the fear of judgment and “Misbehaving with Integrity” (ClarissaPinkola Estés) we can practice accepting ourselves wholly and reject the idea that we must conform to societal expectations of how “feminine” looks and sounds. This radical self-acceptance is vital for improved mental well-being, trauma healing and growth.
Utilise nature’s painkillers
While cultural attitudes toward women’s health in general and pain in particular could be a subject of further discussion, in relation to this discussion it would be important to remind that women have historically been underrepresented in medical research, and gender bias in healthcare has sometimes resulted in delayed or inadequate pain management. This had led to women's pain being often dismissed or undertreated. Women allowing themselves the emotional outlet and energetic discharge elicited by swearing may also trigger the release of endorphins, which are the body's natural pain-relieving and mood-enhancing chemicals.
These endorphins can help reduce the perception of pain and create relief.
By challenging the stigma surrounding women's politeness and embracing the liberating potential of cursing, we pave the way for a future where women's voices are heard and celebrated, their experiences are validated, and their health concerns are prioritized. Open and honest conversations, fueled by the unapologetic use of language, create space for women to step into their power. Let us unmask the taboos, dismantle the barriers, and support each other in embracing our experiences, and our right to curse.
Read more from Dr Nina Shine
Dr Nina Shine, Executive Presence Coach · Transformational Mentor · Psychologist & Psychotherapist
Dr. Nina Shine is a Clinical Psychologist and Executive Coach who guides high-performing leaders from survival mode into embodied power. She helps leaders rewrite the script, moving from performance and burnout to presence, purpose, and authentic impact. Her approach weaves somatic modalities, trauma-informed psychology, and feminine wisdom to create a new leadership paradigm rooted in empathy, courage, and connection.
