Beneath the Surface – Journey to Self‑Discovery
Written by Walé Akíngbadé, Author and Storyteller
Walé Akíngbadé is a children's book author and storyteller whose work explores culturally rich themes of identity, courage, imagination, and personal growth. He is the creator of Golden Threads of Inspiration, a collection of allegorical books and music that inspire readers to embrace life’s deeper lessons.
How do you discover who you are when life pulls you across cultures, careers, and continents? That question lies at the heart of this piece and of my own life, having spent four decades living across three continents, working in highly technical environments and start-ups while trying to stay true to the creative instincts I learned as a child on a farm. My path has taught me that self-discovery is a long conversation with yourself and that when we slow down enough to listen and make space for creative expression, we can transmute pain into insight and anchor ambition in integrity.
Growing across continents
My formative years in Ibadan, Africa's largest and most populous city, were marked by idyllic summers and evenings spent at my uncle's farm. This vibrant ecosystem encompassed not only a residence but also a poultry, gardens, and fish ponds. This multifaceted environment was deliberately designed to instil a deep understanding of the intricate web of life and the natural world. As I reflect on those childhood experiences, I am reminded of the magic that pervaded that world, where the boundaries between work and play were blissfully blurred. Under the soft glow of lanterns, supplemented by the radiant moonlight, my siblings and cousins would gather to listen to and share tales of cunning tortoises and brave hunters, stories that not only bound our community together but also ignited our imagination.
As I transitioned to London as a teenager, my innate curiosity about the workings of the world remained unwavering, and I opted to pursue a degree in engineering. Navigating a new cultural landscape while mastering a demanding discipline taught me to adapt with agility and forge connections between disparate worlds. Subsequently, my professional experiences and curiosity about the inner workings of business and consulting led me to the United States, where I earned an MBA in Boston. The frenetic pace of start-up life that followed honed my technical skills, but left scant room for introspection or creative expression.
My experiences across three continents have shown me that identity is a dynamic, ever-evolving construct rather than a static entity. In Nigeria, I was a young boy enthralled by folk tales under the moonlight. In Britain, I became an engineer, forging lasting bonds with like-minded individuals. And in America, I pursued an MBA and later became a fast-paced start-up professional. Each environment unveiled a distinct facet of my persona, yet none comprehensively defined me. The moment I attempted to cling to a particular role, circumstances shifted, compelling me to reassess and redefine myself. It was through this process that the storybook The Tree That Found Its Roots was born, helping me come to terms with the fact that my roots were not inextricably linked to a specific place or profession, but rather to the values I carried across cultures and geographies: curiosity, resilience, and compassion.
Creativity as healing
As I traversed the globe, my professional and personal life was weighed down by an invisible burden: the strain of adapting to unfamiliar environments and the toll of burnout. Like a seasoned engineer tackling complex problems, I approached challenges head-on, yet when confronted with my own inner turmoil, I resorted to working harder or diverting my attention to the next hurdle. It wasn't until years later that I grasped the reality that unresolved experiences don't simply dissipate. Instead, they linger, often manifesting as psychosomatic ailments that whisper to the mind. My own struggles with restlessness, insecurity, and the compulsion to please others rather than embracing my authentic self were a testament to this.
The catalyst for change arrived when I began crafting melodies, drawing inspiration from the folk tales of my youth and emulating the styles of revered beatmakers and composers such as DJ Premier, Timbaland, and Pharrell Williams. Initially, this creative pursuit felt indulgent, a frivolous distraction in the tech-dominated world I inhabited, something to do after work hours. However, as I immersed myself in this new circle of like-minded individuals, I found solace in producing 10 to 15 pieces per week. Collaborating with emerging artists, some of whom have since made their mark on the UK music scene, I came to realise that creative expression wasn't a diversion but a vital lifeline. As I poured my emotions into songwriting, I unearthed hidden layers of my psyche that I had previously been too afraid to confront. The themes that emerged in my writing helped me make sense of my experiences of loss and transition.
The therapeutic potential of creative expression is backed by psychological research, which suggests that expressive writing and other artistic outlets can facilitate the processing of traumatic experiences by reconfiguring painful memories and mitigating physiological stress. By engaging different facets of the brain, creative activities enable us to channel turbulent emotions into something meaningful and productive. As I shared my creations with others, I invited empathy and broke the isolation that had accompanied my trauma, slowly unravelling the residues of painful experiences. For me, creativity has been a transformative force, allowing me to transmute pain into relatable wisdom through painting, music, dance, or writing.
Anchoring ambition in integrity
As someone who has worked in technical fields, I've learned to appreciate the value of ambition, the way goals provide direction, and the drive to innovate that propels us forward. However, unchecked ambition can become a double-edged sword, leading us to compromise our values or neglect our well-being in pursuit of external validation. I recall instances when I prioritised promotions or start-up valuations over my own needs, acquiescing to projects that didn't align with my purpose, out of fear of appearing ungrateful or weak. Writing became a catalyst for introspection, allowing me to assess what truly mattered. Through journaling and eventually allegorical stories, I explored characters grappling with similar dilemmas, such as Yurí in A Merchant's Tale, who must choose between pursuing wealth and honouring his integrity. The tree may grow tall, but without deep roots, it will topple in the first storm.
Lessons for self‑discovery
Living across continents and working in both technical and creative fields has taught me these lessons:
Identity is dynamic, not fixed. Our postcode or profession does not define us. Instead, our core values and passions provide continuity even when external circumstances change.
Slowing down is a form of wisdom. In cultures that glorify speed, taking time to reflect and create can feel countercultural. Yet it is essential for processing experience and aligning our actions with our purpose.
Ambition must be balanced by intention. It is admirable to strive for excellence, but we should regularly ask: Why do I want this? Will this goal make me more grounded or more fragmented?
Creativity is healing. When we channel our struggles into art or narrative, we transmute pain into insight. The process might not erase the past, but it reduces its hold over us and can become a beacon of hope to help others navigate theirs.
We belong everywhere and nowhere. Cross-cultural experiences expand our perspective and remind us that home is a set of values we carry rather than a fixed location.
Invitation to reflect
As I reflect on my journey, I'm reminded of the importance of honouring our stories, embracing creativity, and balancing ambition with authenticity. It's a path that has allowed me to find fulfilment in diverse landscapes, whether standing under African moonlight, working in a European lab, or starting anew in a different city. I invite you to pause and reflect on your own roots: What values accompany you through change? What creative outlet might help you process lingering pain? And which ambitions align with your deepest intentions?
Share your reflections and join me on this journey of self-discovery.
Read more from Walé Akíngbadé
Walé Akíngbadé, Author and Storyteller
Walé Akíngbadé is a storyteller, counsellor, and the creator of the Golden Threads of Inspiration series. Born in Ibadan, Nigeria, he learned the value of diligence, family, and storytelling while tending to poultry, gardens, and fish ponds with his older cousins. In his late teens, he moved to London to study engineering and later earned an MBA in Boston, working in tech startups across multiple continents. After a 20-year stint in corporate life, he turned back to music and writing as a form of healing, which eventually led him to pursue an NCFE Diploma in Counselling. Today, he combines business insight, cross-cultural experience, and emotional intelligence to craft picture books and essays that explore identity, resilience, and compassion. Walé now lives in the United Kingdom.
