8 Steps To Be Free Of Your Past And Reinvent Yourself
Written by: Maya Zack, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
The past can often be like a ghost that haunts us. Even though it’s completely dead, it follows us around and gets in the way of our present lives. If not careful, it also shapes our future, whether we like that shape or not, because we’re still attached to our past. We’re still conditioned with the same ‘programs’. And why is it that we just love to entertain ideas of fresh, new starts (like New Year resolutions we don’t follow through with)?
It’s because in essence, we are always free. And it’s our nature to evolve and change. So we want that. Even if it’s not a conscious want, the desire for development and moving forward is always somewhere inside. The only way to move forward is to let go of your past. Creating a new ‘identity’ for yourself. This can be a scary or overwhelming process, but it's also an exciting one. It gives you the opportunity to start fresh and create the life that you want.
Here's how to be free of your past to reinvent yourself...
1. Accept your past
In order to be free from your past, you need to first accept it. You can't change what‘s already happened, so there’s no use dwelling on it. Holding onto resentment and bitterness only prevents you from finding peace, which is the state that allows for the easiest growth.
Acceptance doesn't mean that you’re condoning what happened; it just means that you’re acknowledging it’s part of your story. Once you’re able to do that, you can start to let go.
2. Forgive yourself and others
Forgiving those who’ve hurt you in the past can be difficult, but it’s necessary in order to move forward. Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting or agreeing with their actions; it just means choosing to drop anger and resentment.
Remember that we’re all flawed humans. To give you a personal example, it was in my 20’s that I clearly understood that it was my expectation of my parents to be supportive, loving parents that was causing me pain, even more than the actual pain they caused me. I acknowledged they were imperfect humans who had kids (and should they not have had kids? In that case I wouldn’t be here!). Once I realised that, I was able to shift my childhood traumas and begin to be free from them. This does take compassion, open-mindedness and understanding on your part, but you’ll be the one who benefits from this the most. It’ll be a relief that you can finally move on with your life. And you’ll no longer be hosting and accumulating that pain. Again, acceptance brings peace.
Self-acceptance is even more important. You can only reinvent yourself if you forgive yourself too. Remember that everyone makes mistakes and that we all deserve a second and even third chance. You’re not perfect and you’re alive to live and learn. Acknowledge that any guilt, shame or regret you might feel is trying to show you there’s a lesson in there for you. Once you’re conscious of the lesson and you decide to do better in the future, guilt will have done its part. There’s no more need for them.
3. Take responsibility
With freedom comes responsibility. You can’t reinvent yourself without this. You can choose to be a victim of your circumstances or you can choose to be the author of your story. Yes, there are things that happen to you that you can’t control. And yes, some issues you’re facing might be someone else’s fault.
But it’s your responsibility to decide where to go from here. How you react is entirely within your power.
No one is saying it’s easy to take responsibility for your life, but it’s possible. It all starts with a decision to do so. It’s a profound shift in mindset, one that allows you to see yourself as the powerful creator of your own reality.
4. Remove the belief your character is fixed
You’re not stuck with the personality traits you have today. Just because you’re shy, insecure, introverted or have a hard time communicating or opening up to people doesn't mean you have to be that way forever (that's traumatised me!).
Thinking you have a ‘fixed’ personality is a limiting belief that would be preventing you from being the person you want and absolutely can be. If you want to reinvent yourself, you need to drop that belief – as it would be contradictory to your efforts, and beliefs always win.
Your natural state is to be free, grow and evolve. You’re alive, and your mind is here to do just that. And imagine for a moment you were truly, fully present. Ask yourself ‒ without going into any past memories, who are you? Would you have any personality at all?
Not really. Without your memories and ideas around your self-image, you’d simply be ‘empty’ awareness. Free to be and do whatever you like.
That is your real self – pure potential.
5. Focus on now and onwards, no matter what was
Be present. The past literally does not exist, other than in your imagination. Unless you revisit and recreate it over and over in your mind – it stops coming back to life.
So now that you’ve dropped the negative feelings and limiting beliefs about who you are, you can draw a line behind you.
This is where you’re now at.
And this is where you’re now going. Set your goals. Create a picture of what you now look forward to. When you have clear goals you're working towards, it's easier to stay focused on the present, with a sense of purpose, meaning and motivation.
6. Be curious
As you head forward, approach things with a fresh perspective. Potential and growth don’t ever run out.
Drop any ‘reality rules’ (i.e. limiting beliefs) around what is or isn’t possible for you. Develop a mindset that’s focused on learning. See where things take you as you keep an open mind. Be receptive and allow yourself to be surprised!
(Never in a million years, well into my late 20’s, would I have imagined I’d be completely free of my traumas – or be an award-winning coach training people how to be their most confident selves. But I kept open to possibilities wondering how far I’d go, and here I am.)
7. Don't let others shame you or pull you back
Sometimes it can feel uncomfortable to change or aim for development when your environment and the close people around you don’t share the same attitude.
It can feel awkward to reinvent yourself when some people may not like it or not want you to change. They might try to make you feel that you’re betraying them somehow by wanting to be free from things you may have had in common. They might try to make you feel guilty about not being the person they used to know. Or not fitting into their social circles as you used to.
So know that this comes out of their own insecurities. When people do that, it’s because your changing makes them feel uncomfortable (consciously or not) with their own lack of progress or aspiration.
Don’t be held back by this. Don’t ever apologise for wanting more or better. The best you can do is encourage their own development. Failing that, try to at least get them to understand and accept yours.
If they’re not on board, it might be time to re-evaluate those connections. Real friends will support your growth. If this is family, set strong boundaries. If this is your social environment who aren’t really your friends, maybe it’s time to let them go.
Rather than trying to keep friendships and connections alive, it’s far more important to stay true to yourself. You ultimately live your own journey. You’re not here to fit into anyone else’s expectations, and certainly not into lower expectations than you have.
So turn your attention to people who accept, support or inspire you. You might lose some people along the way, but moving on you’ll gain new, meaningful connections that’ll push you forward even more.
8. Use the Sedona Method™
Having some powerful mindset tools at hand can allow you to be free so much easier and quicker.
If you're ready to let go of the past, reinvent yourself and start fresh, the Sedona Method can help. It’s a simple, ridiculously easy technique for letting go of any negative emotion, thought or belief.
It effortlessly dissolves your identification with your past stories & limitations, and allows you to open up to endless possibility. It enables you to achieve any of your future goals feeling light and free, as you leave your past behind. And it does all this without having to go into the past stories. If you’re curious about how this can help you, feel free to book a free call with me and I’ll demonstrate it with you and show you exactly how it works.
So remember that to reinvent yourself takes time, patience, and effort. It’s an ongoing process. Do the work, enjoy and trust the process.
But if you decide to stop identifying with your past story, your future becomes wide open. No matter what your past is or how old you are. Identify with growth and evolution instead!
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Maya Zack, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Maya Zack is an award-winning personal development & mindset coach, peak performance specialist and hypnotherapist.
Based in the UK, she works internationally, mainly with women entrepreneurs as well as with businesses to create high-performance teams that aim to make a positive impact on people’s lives.
She helps business owners, leaders and teams free themselves from mental & emotional habits or blocks that prevent them from experiencing more success or slow it down. She has developed her unique signature 8-week step-by-step mindset makeover programs for aspiring as well as already established entrepreneurs that change thinking & feeling patterns on the deepest, subconscious level, reprogramming their minds for success so that new habits & behaviours quickly become automatic and effortless.
She believes it’s so important to our lives, joy and fulfilment to be doing what we love and daring to go for it regardless of the outcome. So many are held back by fear and she wants to change that. She believes success happens from the inside out alongside mindset mastery, and that as humans with imagination, we have the incredible capacity to become free, powerful creators of ourselves and our lives.
