Back-To-School Stress is Real for Kids and Parents – How to Find Calm in the Chaos
Lisa Dunn and Lori Sherrington are the Co-Founders of Inner Vision Healing & Wellness, a wellness practice focused on energy healing, frequency wellness, and holistic transformation. Together, they combine intuitive healing modalities with compassionate client care to support emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being.
Simple ways to reduce overwhelm, support nervous-system regulation, clear mental clutter, and stay connected as your family returns to routine. September often feels like a fresh start. New school year, new routines, new activities, and a return to structure after the freedom of summer. But it can also feel like someone suddenly turned the speed of life up several notches.
Alarm clocks are going off earlier. Lunches need packing. Kids need to get out the door. Work schedules are back in full swing. Homework begins again. Sports and extracurricular activities fill the calendar.
Somewhere in between, families are still supposed to eat dinner, do laundry, get enough sleep, and actually enjoy one another.
It's a lot, and it isn't only parents who feel it. Children are adjusting to classrooms, teachers, expectations, friendships, homework, noise, and schedules. Parents are managing the logistics while also wondering how their children are coping. Sometimes we're all carrying more than we realize.
Back-to-school nerves don't always look like nervousness
A child may tell you they're nervous about school. But they may also become quieter, irritable, emotional, clingy, or resistant to getting ready. They may have trouble sleeping or simply seem unlike themselves. Not every child can easily explain what they're feeling.
My business partner, Lori, has spent years working as an Educational Assistant with children with special needs, including children with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). Her experience has reinforced something we see again and again: sometimes we have to pay attention to what a child may be communicating beyond their words.
For some children with ASD, changes in routine, unfamiliar classrooms, new teachers, increased noise and sensory stimulation, or simply not knowing exactly what to expect can be particularly challenging.
When communicating feelings is difficult, “I'm nervous about school” may never be the sentence we hear. The communication may come through behaviour instead. This is personal for me too. I have grandchildren with ASD, and as a grandmother, I worry about them starting school.
Are they nervous? Will they be comfortable in their new environment? Will someone recognize when they're becoming overwhelmed? Will they be able to communicate what they need? I know I'm not the only parent or grandparent asking those questions.
Sometimes we're so busy preparing the backpacks, lunches, transportation, and schedules that we forget there's a little person trying to process a very big transition.
Help kids decompress before asking for more
Think about how much a child processes during a school day. They're listening, learning, following instructions, transitioning between activities, navigating friendships, and managing all kinds of emotions. Some children may hold themselves together throughout the school day and then fall apart when they get home. They may simply be exhausted and overwhelmed.
Before going immediately from school to “Get your homework out,” consider allowing some decompression time. Have a snack. Drink some water. Go outside. Move their body. Put on calming music. Talk. Sit quietly. Some children may want to tell you everything the minute they walk through the door. Others may need space before they're ready.
A few minutes of slow breathing can help too. With younger children, make it simple: slowly smell an imaginary flower and gently blow out an imaginary candle. We're not looking for perfect breathing technique. We're simply creating an opportunity to stop, centre and help the body settle toward a calmer, rest-and-digest state.
Stop asking only, “How was your day?”
Parents everywhere probably recognize this conversation: “How was school?” “Fine.” “What did you do?” “Nothing.” Apparently that concludes today's interview.
Instead, try asking questions that show genuine interest in their world:
What was the best part of today?
Did anything funny happen?
Which class did you like best?
Who did you spend time with?
Did you learn anything that surprised you?
Did anything upset you today?
Was anything too loud or uncomfortable?
Did anything make you feel worried or left out?
Specific questions can be easier to answer than one enormous question about an entire day. Some children may also communicate more comfortably while doing something else, drawing, playing, walking, having a snack, or riding in the car, rather than sitting face-to-face and feeling questioned.
When they tell us something difficult, our first response doesn't always have to be a solution. Instead of immediately saying, “Here's what you should do tomorrow,” try, “That sounds like it was really hard. Do you want to tell me more?” Sometimes being heard is what they need first.
Help them find the good without dismissing the hard
We can also help children learn to recognize the good things that happen in their day without pretending the difficult things didn't happen. Both can be true. Math may have been frustrating, and something hilarious happened at lunch. They may have felt left out during recess and been proud of something they accomplished. They can be nervous about tomorrow and excited about seeing a friend.
Try a simple family ritual at dinner or bedtime: everyone shares one good thing from the day. Parents participate too. It doesn't have to be profound. Someone made me laugh. I finished something I'd been putting off. I had a really good coffee. The dog did something ridiculous.
We're not teaching children to ignore difficult emotions. We're helping them recognize that one difficult moment doesn't necessarily define an entire day.
Parents need regulating too
Here's the part we sometimes forget. While we're helping our children manage their stress, who is managing ours? Parents are remembering permission forms, lunches, appointments, homework, practices, groceries, and work deadlines while simultaneously trying to keep everybody else organized.
When everything is circling around in our heads, everything can start to feel equally urgent. That's when I like one of the simplest tools of all: get it out of your head. Take ten minutes and write down everything occupying space in your mind. Don't organize it yet. Just empty the mental inbox.
Then ask yourself:
What genuinely needs my attention today? What can wait?
What can I schedule?
What can someone else do?
What am I worrying about that doesn't require action right now?
Then choose your top three priorities. Mental clutter can make twenty things feel urgent. Clarity helps us recognize what actually is.
Regulate before you react
This applies to adults just as much as children. When we're overwhelmed, our instinct is often to keep pushing. Just get through the morning. Just finish the homework. Just get everybody to practice.
But sometimes two quiet minutes can change the next twenty. Put your feet on the floor. Drop your shoulders. Take a slow breath in, and let the exhale be a little longer. Go outside for five minutes. Stretch. Walk. Listen to music. Talk to someone.
Remember, it's difficult to tell a dysregulated child to calm down when we're standing in front of them completely dysregulated ourselves. Yelling, “Everybody needs to calm down!” may not create quite the peaceful environment we had in mind. Instead, try, “We're both getting overwhelmed. Let's stop for a minute.” Regulate with your child rather than always asking your child to regulate alone.
Create a family reset
You don't need another complicated routine. Look for small pauses throughout the day. Maybe everyone takes a few slow breaths before homework. Maybe phones disappear during dinner. Maybe you take a ten-minute walk after dinner. Maybe bedtime includes talking about the best and hardest parts of everyone's day. Sometimes simply stopping, talking, and reconnecting is exactly what's needed.
For some families, complementary wellness practices may also become part of their self-care. At Inner Vision Healing & Wellness, Lori and I work with adults and families using approaches such as Reiki, Biofield Tuning, and Harmonic Egg® sessions. Some of our wellness services can also be offered remotely. Remote sessions can be especially convenient for busy families because sometimes the last thing an overwhelmed parent needs is another appointment to drive to.
Our intention with these practices is to provide an opportunity to slow down, relax, and support overall well-being. We believe holistic wellness and conventional healthcare can work alongside one another. If a child is experiencing persistent anxiety, physical symptoms, significant behavioural changes, or other ongoing concerns, we encourage parents to speak with their physician or another appropriate healthcare professional.
Maybe September doesn't need to be perfect
There will still be forgotten lunches. There will be mornings when somebody can't find a shoe. There will be homework nobody wants to do, traffic when you're already late, and nights when dinner looks suspiciously like whatever you can find in the refrigerator. That's family life. The goal isn't to eliminate every source of stress. It's learning to recognize when stress is beginning to take over and knowing how to interrupt it. Stop. Breathe. Reconnect. Clear some of the noise. Decide what actually needs your attention next.
Perhaps most importantly, remember that our children don't only need us to organize their lives. They need us to be interested in them. Tonight, instead of only asking, “How was your day?” Try, “What was the best part?” “Did anything make you laugh?” Then, “Was there anything hard about today?” Put down the phone and really listen to the answer. Sometimes helping a child feel safe, seen, and heard begins with something that simple.
Want to create more calm in your everyday life?
At Inner Vision Healing & Wellness, we support individuals and families through in-person and remote wellness services designed to encourage relaxation, balance, and overall well-being. We also offer a free introductory guide to energy and frequency-based wellness for anyone curious about learning more.
Learn more and download your free guide at Inner Vision Healing & Wellness.
Read more from Lisa Dunn and Lori Sherrington
Lisa Dunn and Lori Sherrington, Co-Founders of Inner Vision Healing & Wellness
Lisa Dunn and Lori Sherrington are the Co-Founders of Inner Vision Healing & Wellness, a wellness practice focused on energy healing, frequency wellness, holistic transformation, and autonomic nervous system reset. Both Lisa and Lori have experienced personal health challenges, which inspired their passion for holistic healing and for helping others reconnect with balance, clarity, and self-healing. Lisa brings more than 20 years of healthcare leadership experience and is a Certified Holistic Health Practitioner, Reiki Master, Harmonic Egg Guardian, and author. Lori specializes in Biofield Tuning and Reiki and also works closely with children with special needs as an Educational Assistant, with knowledge of American Sign Language (ASL).
