Are You Speaking The Same Language?
Written by: Gina Marie Cassano, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Are people listening when you speak? Are they really hearing you? Are you getting your point across without confusion?
Having healthy conversations with friends, family, significant others, colleagues, employees, strangers, or whomever, is truly amazing! It’s not easy, but it’s certainly possible!
To me, what’s most interesting about communication is not only what it is but also how it’s done.
Do you say what you mean? Are you telling them, asking, or simply discussing your thoughts and ideas? How does the other person receive what you’re saying (or not saying/non-verbal)? What’s the intention behind the point you want to get across? What do you want to accomplish? Is the body language, and tone consistent with the words?
It’s an endless discussion simply because there are many ways of communicating, and there are many ways of receiving it! So how do we know what to do and how to do it? We pay attention, listen to understand, and learn by asking thought-provoking questions! That’s how.
First, let’s look into ourselves. What’s your own perception of your reality? How do you view the people around you and the world? What are your morals and values? What experiences did you have that shaped who you’ve become? All of this makeup who we are, what we believe (mindset), and how we behave. Our perception is our own reality…but are they the same realities as someone else…? Most likely not. So now what?
Well, there’s more than just me in my life, so what about others? My family, team, significant other, my friends, the community? What do I believe is the greater good, or do I? What’s best for us as a whole? How do we balance our own morals and values with others; respectfully? Do we have the same vision and goals? When was the last time you actually took a minute to reflect on building better relationships?
Did you know that the environment in which we live also impacts our perception and how we communicate? Consider this; your family life growing up, living in a cottage on the beach; a cabin in the country; a home in a small, friendly town; a condo in New York City, or even a small apartment in an unsafe and underserved community. Supportive parents, or a volatile, toxic and unsafe environment? What about working for a manager who is mean and unreasonable and treats you and others like crap? Or working for a manager who is a true leader and pushes you to be the best version of yourself?
How could you see yourself in each of those environments? Do you think your view of the world might change? It sure will! We are a product of environments! How we grew up, where we went to school, the people we surround ourselves with, the community in which we live, and even the country.
What about the rules? How do they impact us individually or as a whole community? Or do they? Do we obey the rules simply because they’re there or because we believe it’s right, or both?
The point here is that there’s more than one perception of reality. We each had our own experiences in life, which shaped us into who we are. How do we communicate if we all have different beliefs?
It’s SIMPLE… (Well, not really, but oh so worth it). We allow ourselves to be open-minded, to speak and honor the truth, and invite others to listen. The keyword “invite”…avoid forcing people to listen to us. In return, we listen with an inquisitive mind and without judgment. We respect each other and all the perceptions of realities.
Healthy relationships require thought, effort, and communication on a level where anyone can understand. It’s difficult, but not impossible! Imagine what your relationships could look like at home, work, friends, family when you’re able to have a clear and healthy conversation, regardless if you agree or disagree.
What could having healthy relationships do for you?
Find out through life coaching, and learn ways to have amazing relationships, get what you want.
Gina Cassano, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Meet Gina Marie, certified Transformation Mastery Coach & Relationship Strategist, Founder of MindShift Coaching Services, and TeenLife | TeenStrong. Gina dedicates her life to being a master of mindset, habit, and behavior change, first for herself, then for others. She is living her passion and dream of guiding people towards the life they desire, and most of all, deserve. Gina works with leaders who struggle with their relationships at work and home. She helps them connect and create a shared vision to move their business and life forward with enjoyment and ease! As a former agile business coach, she quickly realized how being unhappy at home impacts mindset and work behaviors. She supports leaders in creating deep and meaningful relationships to show up being present and focused, as the authentic leader that their team and the organization needs them to be. Gina believes that how we show up in our personal relationships affects how we show up in every aspect of our life, and vice versus. So, when things feel unsettled at home, we carry that with us, and it comes out in who we are at work and everywhere else. One part is learning how to have successful relationships, and looking inward is the other because mastery starts within.
Gina’s Purpose: To support people on their life journey, so they say, “because of working with you, my life has improved, and I’m happier than I’ve ever been.”
Gina’s favorite quote: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel” —Maya Angelou.
