Are Men Letting The Team Down In Relationships?
- Dec 23, 2022
- 4 min read
Written by: Sasha and Daniel, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
We believe so! But all hope is not lost. From our combined 14 years of personal development and coaching experience, we recognise both people contribute to marriage breakdowns and the problems experienced in an intimate relationship. Women are the forerunners of the personal development industry, and many men are left lagging. The effect on an intimate relationship can be devastating.
What goes wrong?
The couple knows deep down that something is wrong, evidenced by the lack of connection, intimacy, communication breakdown, and a whisper inside that won't quieten. The couple behaves more like housemates than a loving partnership. As the relationship erodes, the distance between them grows. Resentments build, blame and justification become a daily occurrence.
More often, women seek personal development to find what's missing or why she feels the way she does. Conversely, men tend to shut down their emotions and keep pressing on with work or exercise, and some indulge in distractions like porn, gambling, or drinking to numb the pain.
As the woman grows and develops through her personal development journey, this widens the gap in the relationship even more. We have seen this many times with our clients. According to an HBR study, women take the lion's share of the personal development market by purchasing over 70% of self-help books and programs, propping up the majority of this $11B industry.
Men must face their demons
For relationships to thrive, two people need to grow together. Men must reclaim their power and go on their personal development journey.
There are many reasons why men might not choose to go down the personal development route:
It is hard to face demons, especially when they haunt us daily.
Men are taught to work it out on their own. Some won't even go to the doctor unless they have a broken leg.
Work and busyness can be a welcome distraction from what's going on deep inside.
Men's family, friends and coworkers can be very judgemental if they start to change.
Avoiding issues can be easier than dealing with them, so they sweep them under the rug and soldier on.
Too many men are not living the life they desire, languishing in a sea of doubt and unrealised potential.
Men must rise
However, the world needs confident men who know their place in the world. These men are mission-driven with a clear purpose, have intention and direction, and are decisive and confident. People feel his presence. He inspires those around him.
Rawness, passion and creativity give him great depth. He is courageous, disciplined, and fierce and faces his fears and stands for what he believes in. A devoted man holds love in his heart and is open with his feelings, leading to deeper intimacy and connection. Women need strong men by their side, and men need their wise sage goddess to guide them.
Why personal development?
Personal development benefits us all, men, women and even children. Learning about yourself and healing the parts of you that have been keeping you stuck, and unfulfilled allow you to do things differently and better. In addition, it can help create awareness of why you feel the way you do. Through awareness, we can change anything, and while some may say they don't need to change - all humans need to grow to feel satisfied in their lives. Personal development offers this opportunity and can result in more profound and loving relationships for you to meet your needs and others' needs ‒ including your intimate partner.
While it may feel scary at the start, we don't know anyone who didn't benefit positively from having someone in their corner to work through the things they can't or won't tell their friends. We all crave support at our core, and very few people receive it. The job and passion of coaches are to provide that.
Together as ONE
One of the reasons we created our program, Together as ONE, is that Daniel works with the men in the King program first and Sasha with the women in Goddess, so you go on your journey before we all focus on the relationship. This helps each individual take responsibility and ownership of their behaviours and heal wounds, triggers, past hurts and patterning from previous relationships or parents.
Doing this work first creates a neutral ground and a new foundation from a more healed place for the next chapter of your relationship. For a relationship to be deep, loving and intimate, it takes two people committed to their own personal development and enriching the relationship.
We return couples to being each other's number ONE.
Download our 14 Guiding Principles for a deeper, more intimate connection with each other.
Sasha and Daniel, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Sasha and Daniel specialise in relationships, human behaviour and experiential healing. Their collective 14 years as coaches taught them that patterns from previous relationships and upbringing could adversely affect their connection, even knowing they were soul mates. So from day one, they consciously designed their relationship by creating 14 principles to guide their behaviours and focus.
Sasha and Daniel aim to heal the world with their love by showing couples how to turn towards each other again for fulfilment, intimacy and connection.
Sasha and Daniel offer exclusive 1:1 coaching and retreats for couples that are at 80% and want that extra 20%. They teach simple, actionable principles for partners who love each other but have lost their way.
