Answer This Simple Question About Yourself To Escape A Mediocre Life
- Feb 14, 2023
- 3 min read
Written by: Sabrina Sourjah, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Your one-word answer will give you all the clarity you need.
In one of my coach training cohorts, we did an exercise on designing who we wanted to be when we show up for our clients daily. Because we can choose who we show up as. Powerful, Inspiring, Helpful, Loving, Annoying, Ignorant, and Judgemental, to name a few.
I told the group that I wanted to be authentic and relaxed. But they asked who my authentic self was.
“It’s just me. All of me, with all of my vulnerabilities,” I responded.
They weren’t happy with my sloppy answer and kept pushing me. “But who is your authentic self? How would you describe her?”
Luckily, we ran out of time, and Zoom kicked us out of our breakout room.
Fast forward a few weeks, I heard another version of the same question on a podcast. “Who are you at your core?” the podcast host asked the guest.
Since the universe repeatedly tossed this question my way, I started looking for a clear answer. I had to.
Some not-so-right answers
I’m a writer and coach — In this culture of doing, being productive, and achieving, most of us resort to what we do when we’re asked who we are. Although I love what I do for a living, this is not who I am.
I’m a friend, mentor, sister, and daughter — These are important ways that I contribute to loved ones. But there are merely roles I play. Some I play lovingly and warmly. Some because I have no choice.
I’m a passionate feminist — This is my passion; women’s issues set my soul on fire. But this also does not capture my essence in full. It also ignores my other passions like psychology, travel, and working with teenagers.
I’m a strong believer in human potential — This is very true, but I also believe in the inherent abundance of the universe. And the world being a kind and compassionate place for all.
The common thread holding my life together
There is a reason I write and coach, a reason why I specifically write in the mental health and social justice niches. There is a common thread between being a feminist and a believer in limitless human potential.
I was a transformationalist. (This is a made-up word, but you get the meaning.)
I want to transform the world around me. I want to tear patriarchy into bits. I want childhood trauma to be swept off the face of this earth.
As a freelance writer, I help mental health startups and therapists to heal people by writing blog posts and website copy. As a career change coach, I want people to leave jobs that aren’t filling them with joy, and I’m their biggest champion in this journey. This is why I worked in change management and technology for a while, even when these were not ideal careers for me.
The final test: How does this show up in my personal life?
Given our cultural leaning towards working and hustling, it’s easy to answer who we are using what we do for a living or our hobbies. But to make sure our answers are the correct ones, it’s critical to see if the answers hold true in our personal lives. Meaning, our romantic relationships, friendships, and how we interact with our families.
In my case, as a transformationalist, I had deliberately transformed my life multiple times. I have immigrated twice, left a marriage that wasn’t working, embraced my gray hair, questioned old friendships, and successfully changed my career.
I’m, therefore, a transformationalist in my life, and transformation is what I strive for in all areas of my life.
How this answer has helped me
Knowing who I am at my core has helped me make better decisions and take actions that align with what I need the most.
To up my self-awareness
For all types of decision-making
Look for the shadow side
To pick a future direction
I hope you found this post useful. Please subscribe to my Medium page to follow my journey of finding myself.
Follow me on Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info!
Sabrina Sourjah, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Sabrina Sourjah is a certified authenticity coach based in Toronto. She began coaching because of her unshakable belief that we all deserve better jobs, better relationships, and better lives. She gets a genuine high every time her clients progress towards their most authentic life by outdoing their former selves. In her past life, she has worked in various corporate and technology roles. She was mostly stressed at work, no matter how well things were going. Now, Mondays are Fridays for her. This is why she’s on a mission to get you to your most authentic life. Because she knows how wonderful life can be on the other side. When she's free, she loves to read, sing karaoke, go on long walks, and watch the sunset.
