Written by: Sílvia Fontquerni, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
If at the workplace;
you have been constantly taken advantage of,
you have been constantly diminished, criticized or someone is making you constantly feel you are a problem or that you are always wrong,
you have been bullied or discriminated against,
you have been intimidated, threatened, or put in fear of your safety...
Then, you have been abused, and you deserve better than that.
Let’s see in more abusive behaviors:
Blaming you for things you have not done.
Constantly embarrassing you.
Manipulating the truth, making you doubt your feelings and thoughts, even your sanity.
Constantly rejecting your thoughts, ideas, and opinions.
Over controlling your behaviors, interaction with others, tasks, even your personal life.
Taking away responsibility in tasks without explanation or reason.
Overuse of negative feedback which impacts on demotivation and discouragement.
Exploiting power to depress or command.
Can these behaviors be defined as leadership?
Not at all. Leadership is not abusive, even though leaders must show authority when needed it. These behaviors are unethical lacking integrity, provoking negative consequences not only on the victim but also in the team and work climate.
Consequences of abusive management on employees (Medina A. Lopez E. Medina R.):
Stress, anxiety, and frustration.
Burn out.
Loss of energy.
Decrease of performance.
Isolation from social relationships.
Leaving work.
Feeling sick.
Decrease of self-confidence.
Are these types of abusers easy to identify?
Not always. Unfortunately, some abusers can be masters of manipulation and lying. They can behave completely different from one person to another, abusing when there are no witnesses around and normally behave well in front of seniors.
Why do some people use power to abuse others?
If someone is abusing, it may be because that person was abused and is behaving from a trauma pattern. It may be because the abuser feels so small that he needs to put others down to feel superior. As mentioned, there are no specific answers since every case is different, but unfortunately, it is the way they learned to interact with others. Someone who feels joyful, fulfilled, and well-balanced will not waste time destroying or abusing someone. If someone is making you feel miserable, this is how they may feel since you can only give what you have.
What if you are an abuser?
Well, if you read this and it resonates with you and you are willing to change, then I must congratulate you. A lot of abusers do not want to change perpetuating the abuse. The first step is being aware of what you do, willing to change even though the healing process may be painful.
What can you do if you are being abused?
Every situation, person, and the abuser is different. Therefore, there is no specific magic solution. However, your health and well-being come first. Listen to your gut feeling, seek help and support. Self-Value, self-worth, and self-confidence are important to set boundaries and no longer tolerate these types of behaviors.
"You deserve better."
Sílvia Fontquerni, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Sílvia is from Barcelona, currently working and living in London, UK. Her work as a coach consists of helping individuals and professionals be at their best not only at the workplace but also in personal life. She studied Psychology, Human Resources, and Coaching. As a Life Coach, she gives support and guidance so that clients can unleash their full potential and, as a result, be able to achieve their goals: build self-confidence, overcome fears & self-limitations, gain clarity to make the right decisions, and be able to awake their inner wisdom. As Workplace & Team Coach, she helps professionals maximize their performance and development in communication, team building/engagement, emotional intelligence, and leadership. She understands the importance of a leadership role in companies aligned with organization culture, values, and goals. Innovation and change are key to a company's success.
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