Written by: Agnes Chau, Senior Level Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
The addiction to suffering. Have you ever competed on who had it worse? Growing up, I remember conversations with friends where we tried to outdo each other about who had it worse. Drama stories with roles of victim, persecutor, and rescuer have become the norm so often in society. Our subconscious minds have been inundated with stories of suffering and the victimhood mindset.
More often than not, a person may not even be aware of the addiction to suffering because it is how the human operating system has been conditioned through the influences of media, societal structures, cultural, and ancestral norms.
Everything is energy and suffering is also energy. What makes suffering hard to resist is the comfort it provides to the person who has embraced suffering as a narrative or as part of their identity. Over time, familiarity with this known energy can become comfortable and even addictive. When someone finds comfort in the very thing that makes them consistently unhappy, there is little incentive to break out of the cycle. The addiction to suffering is a dis-ease in the mind-body system. The stress in the mind-body system affects one’s mental, emotional, and physical bodies.
Why is there an addiction to suffering?
We are spiritual beings having a human experience, with feelings we want to experience, and lessons to be learned in this lifetime. Sometimes it is easy to forget that we have the power to choose how we respond to situations, even when we may not feel that we have much choice in the matter. When we forget that we are co-creators of our reality and adopt a victimhood mindset, it can become all too easy to fall into the trap of suffering as a “state of being”, rather than something that will eventually pass. By attaching to suffering and giving audience to it beyond the time it deserves, suffering is given a life of its own. Ruminations about the past, what could have been done differently and our perceptions of a situation can take away the ability to find peace in the present. When people are stuck with old subconscious programs that have underlying themes of unworthiness and fear, it becomes a challenge even to be aware of one’s state, let alone know that there is an alternative to this human condition of suffering. There may be active archetypes of the victim, and saboteur playing out. There may also be secondary benefits, such as the comfort of meeting certain human needs such as feeling a sense of certainty, love or connection, or significance by embracing suffering.
Why is it important to break free from the addiction to suffering?
The addiction to suffering puts us in a constant state of stress and anxiety. The amygdala (activates the fight or flight response) is in safety mode and the prefrontal cortex stops thinking. It’s like the amygdala is the security guard protecting the system and the prefrontal cortex, the CEO of the mind, is on lockdown and unable to perform optimally. The two human needs, growth and contribution are hindered as a result.
When addicted to suffering, our brains are not operating at their optimum. Getting to a whole brain state will bring clarity to the bigger picture of the suffering, learn from it and move forward so that one is no longer triggered.
How to Break Free from the Addiction to Suffering
To break free from the addiction to suffering means freeing our minds, so we can live in the present and co-create something better. It means we’ve had enough and it’s time to reinvent ourselves and align with our divine paths.
If we have secondary benefits from the addiction to suffering, then it is time to find something else to fill the void. New experiences that involve self-discovery can help to fill that void.
It means being aware of the patterns and feelings and disrupting them. Here are the ABCs to break free from the addiction to suffering.
A ‒ Awareness ‒ Ask Powerful Questions
Asking powerful questions can help bring awareness of one’s state.
Questions to understand the purpose of the suffering and what one is addicted to: How does this suffering serve me?
Has this become my identity? Is this what I want to be known for going forward?
Questions to know if it is time for transformation:
Who else suffers because I have this addiction? (Suffering causes a ripple effect. It’s not just ourselves who suffer. Others suffer because they worry about us or we lash out at them.)
What lessons am I to learn from this? Have I learned them?
What am I missing out on by focusing my attention on suffering?
What deserves higher priority in my life? What do I want to spend my time on instead?
Questions to transform:
What do I want instead?
What would life look like if I did not focus on this condition or situation? Who am I or who can I be without this addiction?
What can I let go of?
How can I turn this challenge into an opportunity?
Also, check out the free brain health questionnaires at AgnesChauLLC.com/courses to understand how your thinking and feelings are connected with different parts of your brain and the reason why there may be an addiction to suffering.
B ‒ Beliefs ‒ Change Your Belief Systems
Isn’t it time for us to take back our power and know that we are worthy of experiencing the best that life and love have to offer?
Life is more than just survival. It’s easy to have a victimhood mindset. The challenge is to recognize that we are all co-creators of our reality. It’s time to thrive by creating a new reality for ourselves and it starts with changing our belief systems, mostly subconscious.
Where does the subconscious mind fit into the picture?
There are a lot of outdated subconscious programs running at 40 million bits of information per second. The conscious mind is trying hard at 40 bits of information per second to change those beliefs. Sometimes, a powerful intervention like PSYCH-K® is needed to reprogram the subconscious mind to align with the conscious mind’s goals. PSYCH-K® is a spiritual process with often physical, mental, and emotional benefits. The subconscious may be constrained by past conditioning, while the conscious mind may be constrained by social, cultural, religious, or familial norms. The superconscious (Higher Self, Divine Intelligence within that is connected with Divine Source) is there with the bigger picture for one’s life and it is not constrained by space or time. Sometimes, the conscious mind needs the superconscious to help reprogram the subconscious mind to create the foundation for success. One still needs to consciously live their life and take action to support the new perspective.
With the conscious mind’s intention, permission from one’s superconscious, and commitment from one’s subconscious, one is guided through whole-brain postures or movements to get to a whole-brain state for a condition or situation. Triggers from memories of past trauma no longer have the same effect. Instead of only seeing a situation from one angle/perspective, one can see it from all angles/perspectives. It is empowering to take back control of one’s own mind. The conscious mind is free to choose to suffer or to move forward. Freedom comes from knowing we have a choice. To learn more about PSYCH-K®, visit here.
C ‒ Challenge ‒ Apply the 5 senses
Take the challenge to transition away and out of the suffering by applying the 5 senses to resonate with higher frequencies.
See or visualize what you want instead. Imagine your dream vacation spot, a happy place, or a happy memory. You can also try to visualize and activate the violet flame, which can bring about a sense of peace and gratitude.
Listen to sound-healing music like solfeggio frequencies, rife frequencies, or binaural beats. Everything is energy and vibrates at different frequencies. Listening to music will help our bodies tune into frequencies for well-being.
Smell a rose or a flower or scent that has a high vibrational frequency.
Taste or imagine tasting your favorite food. Enjoy it with all of your senses. Eating foods that have high vibrational frequencies like fruits and vegetables, especially apples will also tune the body to frequencies for well-being.
Feel through movement. Going for a walk, doing yoga, and dancing can help us get out of our heads. Doing the horse-riding stance in chi kung or intentional meditation to connect with Mother Earth’s natural vibrational frequency can help restore one’s well-being. Different types of meditation activate different brain waves. For example, transcendental meditation activates alpha brainwaves for restful alertness, and studies have shown it to reduce stress and anxiety amongst other benefits.
In Summary
Have compassion for yourself and others who have an addiction to suffering. While suffering may be a human experience, it is not meant to be a permanent state of being, nor a defining aspect of one’s identity. The key is not to get stuck in suffering and to take steps to move forward and live conscious lives. If you know someone who is addicted to suffering, enabling the addiction to suffering will not change things. The ABCs to break free from the addiction to suffering:
A - Awareness - ask powerful questions
B - Beliefs - change belief systems by getting to a whole brain state
C - Challenge - use the 5 senses to resonate at a higher frequency
Agnes Chau, Senior Level Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Agnes Chau is an award-winning Transformational Life Coach, PSYCH-K® Facilitator, Private Consultant, and Speaker. With her training in various life-transforming modalities and her prior experience as an Engineering Executive, Agnes helps clients succeed in all aspects of life. Agnes enjoys helping people tap into their Divine Intelligence to identify the most effective path forward for physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing. She specializes in PSYCH-K®, Tong Ren tapping, and other modalities for wellbeing. Agnes has received many awards, including, International Association of Top Professional's (IAOTP) Top Transformational Life Coach of the Year, IAOTP's Empowered Woman of the Year, CXO Outlook's Most Inspiring Business Woman, Passion Vista's Global Icon, Brainz Magazine's CREA Global Award, Connecticut Woman of Innovation for Large Business Innovation and Leadership, the Manufacturing Institute’s STEP Ahead award, the Society of Women Engineers’ Advocating Women in Engineering Award and, several patents.
Agnes is also the President and Founder of The Empowered Heart, Inc. a 501(c)(3) nonprofit https://www.theempoweredheart.org. She volunteers her time as a certified Gracie Jiu-Jitsu Women Empowered Instructor and gifts transformation sessions to veterans and allies of the Angels 14 community.
