A Spiritual and Practical Guide to Overcoming People-Pleasing
- Brainz Magazine
- Apr 23, 2025
- 4 min read
As a Life Mastery Certified Coach®, Susan integrates spirituality with practicality, guiding women to discover their unique Soul Goal™ and chart a personal path to success and happiness. Unlock your inner wisdom, align your heart with your mind, and uncover actionable steps that resonate with your authentic self.
Do you ever find yourself being a people pleaser? Saying yes to doing things you don’t really want to do, then regretting it later? This common habit often arises from a fear of offending or angering others, leading us to compromise our true desires and exhaust our energy on things that don't truly matter to us. The key to breaking this cycle lies in embracing authenticity, a blend of spiritual and practical approaches that can transform our lives.
Understanding people-pleasing
At its core, people-pleasing is about seeking validation and acceptance from others. We say yes to avoid conflict, to be liked, or to feel needed. However, this behavior often comes at a high cost: our own well-being and happiness. When we prioritize others' needs over our own, we deplete our energy, leading to burnout and resentment.
The spiritual perspective: Honoring your true self
From a spiritual standpoint, being a people pleaser disconnects us from our true selves. When we are not open and authentic about who we are and what we want, we live in a state of inauthenticity. This misalignment can create a sense of unease and dissatisfaction.
Spirituality teaches us that each of us has a unique path and purpose. Honoring your true self means recognizing and respecting your own needs, desires, and boundaries. It means understanding that your worth is inherent and not dependent on others' approval.
Practices to cultivate authenticity
Self-reflection and meditation: Take time each day to reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Meditation can help you connect with your inner self and understand your true desires. Ask yourself, "Am I doing this because I want to, or because I feel I have to?"
Affirmations and intentions: Use positive affirmations to reinforce your self-worth and set intentions for authenticity. Phrases like "I am enough," "I honor my true self," and "I set healthy boundaries" can help shift your mindset.
Connect with nature: Spending time in nature can be grounding and help you reconnect with your inner self. It provides a peaceful space to contemplate and gain clarity on what truly matters to you.
The practical approach: Setting boundaries and saying no
While spirituality helps us understand the importance of authenticity, practical steps are necessary to implement it in our daily lives. One of the most effective ways to preserve our energy and stay true to ourselves is by setting boundaries and learning to say no.
Steps to practical authenticity
Identify your priorities: Make a list of what is truly important to you. These could be personal goals, relationships, or self-care practices. Having a clear understanding of your priorities makes it easier to say no to things that don't align with them.
Communicate clearly: When you need to decline a request, be honest and direct. You don't need to provide lengthy explanations or excuses. A simple, "I'm sorry, I can't commit to this right now," is sufficient.
Practice saying no: It can be challenging to start saying no if you're used to being a people pleaser. Start small by turning down minor requests and gradually work your way up to bigger ones. Remember, every time you say no to something that doesn't serve you, you say yes to something that does.
Seek support: Surround yourself with people who respect your boundaries and encourage your authenticity. This support network can provide strength and reassurance as you make changes in your life.
Integrating spirituality and practicality
Combining spiritual insights with practical actions creates a holistic approach to overcoming people-pleasing. By honoring your true self and setting clear boundaries, you create a balanced life that reflects your values and desires.
Daily ritual for authentic living
Morning meditation: Start your day with a brief meditation to set your intentions for authenticity. Visualize yourself confidently expressing your true self and respecting your boundaries.
Mindful decision-making: Throughout the day, practice mindful decision-making. Before agreeing to any request, pause and consider whether it aligns with your priorities and values.
Evening reflection: End your day with a reflection on your actions and choices. Acknowledge the moments you honored your true self and learn from any instances where you may have compromised your authenticity.
The wise woman says
Life is too short to spend it exhausted and unfulfilled. Embracing authenticity by integrating spirituality and practicality empowers you to live a life that is true to yourself. By setting boundaries, saying no when necessary, and honoring your true self, you can preserve your energy for the things that truly matter and create a more meaningful, satisfying life. Be authentic. Your true self is waiting to shine, and the world needs the unique light only you can offer.
Susan F. Moody Intuitive Business, Life, and Success Coach
Susan F. Moody, Wise Woman, is dedicated to empowering women to tap into their own inner wisdom and discover the power of intentional living. Along her personal journey, Susan became a wisdom seeker looking for ways to connect with the divine for inspiration and guidance. She started working with the I Ching, angel cards, wisdom cards, runes and pendulum work over 20 years ago and now offers these spiritual insight tools as an option to her clients. She has also developed a tangible technique, the Soul Goal™ finder, to help clients answer the contemplative question “Why am I here?”
