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7 Tips On How To Love Yourself

Written by: Melissa Stonard, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.


Self-love is the source of all love, radiating from the inside. The more we open our hearts the easier it becomes to stay in a place of love. When we allow fear, shame, guilt, anger and other lower emotions to take over, our heart chakras automatically close in protection.

How would it feel if we were able to truly love ourselves all of the time? Read my 7 tips to find out how different your life could be…

“If I love myself, I love you. If I love you, I love myself.” ‒ Rumi (Sufi Persian poet 1262)

1. Setting healthy boundaries

Many of us find it hard to stop others crossing our boundaries whether it’s physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, or financially. Equally, we should check that we are not crossing another’s boundaries. Don’t be afraid to openly communicate your boundaries with others, be firm but kind. Learn to say no, when you don’t want to do something. This can also be explained in a kind way for example, “I’m flattered by your offer, but no thank you”, “I’m not comfortable doing that task” or “Sorry, I’ve already committed to something else”. If we continually allow others to cross our boundaries, we become increasingly frustrated with ourselves, this can be a slippery slope as we enable resentment to build within us.

2. Opening your heart chakra

There are a multitude of ways to open your heart chakra and experience self-love. One of the simplest ways is through heart breath. Find a quiet spot and bring your focus to the middle of your chest, this is where your heart chakra is located. Now imagine that your breath is moving in out and of the chakra, each time you inhale, imagine love filling this space and every time you exhale, imagine the love coming back into you and that it is growing each time. Do this for a few minutes and feel the serenity and love in your heart.

3. Balancing giving and receiving

Are you someone that loves to give, taking pleasure in making someone else happy – but is this a detriment to your wellbeing, or can you honestly say that you are open to receiving as much as you are to giving. For example, if someone gives you a compliment “you look nice” do you accept it, or try to reject it. Or, if a friend offers to buy you lunch, do you accept or reject. When we are not open to receiving we block the flow of energy, this demonstrates a conscious or sometimes unconscious pattern of not feeling worthy to receive, and prevents more good things from coming our way.

4. Raising your frequency

There are many ways to do this, when we reside in lower emotions the frequency of energy that is passing through our body is low, we may feel lethargic, lifeless and lack energy. This can become a vicious circle, as the more we sink into this, the harder it is to pull ourselves out. Singing is a perfect way to raise your vibration; the frequency opens your heart, and connects you to love (whether you are in tune or not!). Dancing is another way, as the movement enables the energy to circulate through your entire system (dancing around the house is perfect), also listening to your favourite music can have the same effect. ERB is a therapy that I channelled that works with frequencies to remove lower emotions, that can so often lead to physical ailments. Once these emotions and repetitive patterns are removed, the physical body is more likely to be able to function at full capacity.

5. Use affirmations

These really work! Particularly when spoken aloud. Remember our voice carries vibration, and the intent from the spoken word is super powerful. Spoken regularly as part of a daily practice, can alter negative thought patterns and beliefs. You may find that some are harder to say than others, and these are the ones that you should focus on more, as these are the ones you really don’t believe to be true about yourself. Stick them on a wall where you will see them regularly, make a habit of saying them, and notice how your life improves.

“I am worthy of love”

“I love and accept myself”

“I am capable of receiving my needs”

“I can forgive others and I’m able to forgive myself”

“I am open to new experiences and I won’t let fear close my heart”

6. Remember what brings you passion and joy

Think about what you used to love to do as a child, before any emotions, judgements, or criticism were involved. When your imagination was able to run free and wild. These are your true passions, and most likely the key to your soul’s true path. How many of you chose to incorporate these childhood passions into your current life or career path. Get out a notebook and pen and reminisce. Then get re-involved with that passion, it’s never too late, and you are never too old! This will open your heart chakra and bring you back to pure love.

7. Self forgiveness

How does it feel to truly forgive yourself. Forgiveness is one of the key components for self-love. The majority of us punish ourselves over and over for one tiny mistake. Why not treat yourself with kindness and compassion, acknowledge that we learn from mistakes, and look in the mirror and forgive yourself.

Could it really be as simple as that?

When we enable ourselves to feel negative emotions, understand where they come from, not store them and simply let them flow out – we are then free from the constricts of repressing our innermost feelings, thus enabling our beautiful hearts to remain open always, never judging ourselves, nor criticising, not punishing ourselves and always forgiving. As we change our inner world you will see your outer world begin to replicate the changes, and you start to live the life you deserve.

We each hold divinity within us, but so many of us are programmed by fear. When we free our hearts from trauma, we can experience who we truly are. What if we were led by love; and were shown how to tenderly reset this patterning – we would remember the joy of life, our full expression, and be able to live in our complete authenticity and power.

Melissa Stonard of Love Light Healing runs workshops and courses showing us how to connect back to love, both in person and online. She runs beautiful heart opening cacao ceremonies both in person and online. She recently channelled a new modality called Etheric Regeneration and Bioresonance (ERB), which is a method of healing using frequency to rebalance and regenerate the body, she has seen fantastic results from a physical, mental and emotional aspect, and has shown many how to remove existing negative patterns, conditioning, beliefs and emotions. She teaches this therapy in person and online, as well as offering one to one healing sessions and bespoke events. For more information go to or contact her on

Follow me on LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info!


Melissa Stonard, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

Melissa Stonard, is a leading energy and empowerment mentor. A type 1 diabetic since the age of 4 , she has made it her life long mission to improve the condition through energy work and empowerment. She has now reached the pinnacle of understanding the emotions behind the disease, and how to improve or eradicate many other conditions. This has been made possible by channelling her own therapy, Etheric Regeneration and Bioresonance (ERB for short). She runs transformational workshops and courses, trauma, physical, mental and emotional healing programs, as well as one to one sessions, both online and in person. Her mission: Reclaim your divinity.



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