7 Signs It’s Time to Rethink Your Relationship With Alcohol

Written by Melanie Duriez, Sobriety Life Coach

Melanie Duriez is an accredited Sober Coach and Reiki Master, dedicated to helping people break free from the alcohol trap. Using a holistic approach promoting physical, mental and emotional health, she helps people chart a course for optimum well-being anchored in sobriety.

Let me guess: you started drinking as a teenager. Maybe it was peer pressure, maybe you thought it looked cool, maybe you didn’t want to be the odd one out. All the adults were drinking, it just seemed like that’s what you do when you graduate from childhood, right? And boy, were you ready to get that metaphorical diploma!

Maybe for years, you were just a social drinker. Parties, nights out with friends. You were in your twenties, and you recovered quickly from any youthful shenanigans. But as you got older, what was once a social lubricant slowly started becoming a crutch. A way to take the edge off after a long day at work or to deal with stress. Because life had started to get real. The career, the partner, the house, the kids (or the absence thereof). And that bottle of rosé or six-pack of lager became a necessary coping mechanism instead of an enjoyable luxury.

Today, you can’t remember the last time you willingly went without a drink, and you have a niggling feeling that something might be wrong. But you’re not sure. After all, everywhere you go, you’re bombarded with images of happy people having happy times with a glass of whatever. Always with a glass. Alcohol can’t be the problem, can it? But you’ve noticed lately that you’re too often angry or irritable. You don’t sleep well anymore. You’re bloated. Your skin is dull. And the anxiety. When did you become so anxious?

The truth is, alcohol is an incredibly addictive substance, and its many side effects, including high blood pressure, insomnia, depression, and anxiety, to name a few, develop and worsen over time.

If you’re reading this, you’ve probably started to wonder if this ubiquitous liquid is doing you more harm than good.

7 signs that it may be time to rethink your relationship with alcohol

1. You’ve been trying to moderate for a while

Maybe you heard about “mindful drinking” and have been trying to limit your alcohol consumption, more or less successfully, for a period of time. Have you felt the need to do a “dry” month challenge, like Dry January or Sober October? This is a sign that you know, consciously or subconsciously, that your body needs a break. Someone who isn’t worried about their drinking doesn’t feel the need to completely cut it out for any length of time.

2. You set rules around your drinking

In this quest to moderate, have you set different rules for yourself, only to break them time and again? I’ll only drink on the weekends (but it’s a long weekend, so surely Thursday counts, right?). Or after dinner (but work was a nightmare today, I really need to unwind). Or on special occasions (what exactly is a special occasion, anyway? My nephew’s hamster’s birthday party only happens once a year, after all).

If you struggle to stick to your self-imposed limits and always seem to find a reason to justify the weakening of your resolve, it’s a sign that alcohol has a stronger hold on you than you think.

3. You plan your activities or days around alcohol

Do you find yourself massaging your weekly schedule according to your alcohol consumption? Maybe there’s a new yoga class starting on Sunday morning that you’d like to try but no, you can’t because you know you’ll be feeling like death warmed over until 11 a.m. Or maybe you don’t volunteer to drive the kids to a sleepover party because you know that by 5 p.m. you’ll already have a few drinks in you and won’t be able to take the wheel. If the idea of not drinking either doesn’t cross your mind or doesn’t seem like a viable option, it’s time to ask yourself some questions.

4. You’re constantly thinking about your next drink

This is an insidious effect of alcohol. By its addictive nature, it always leaves you wanting more. When you’ve been imbibing for a long time, you may find yourself continuously thinking about drinking. Do I have enough XYZ in the fridge for the weekend? The evening? What time does the liquor store close? Will there be something to drink at [insert name of event]. Should I bring something? Will there be enough? You may even find yourself thinking about your next drink while you still have one in your hand. It’s exhausting, I know. And it should set your Spidey sense tingling.

5. You wake up at 3 a.m. every night

Do you wake up at 3 a.m. every night with a racing heart and a niggly feeling of shame? Do you berate yourself for overindulging yet again? Alcohol is well known for disrupting sleep patterns. Even one glass is enough to interrupt our slumber, but if you find yourself consistently struggling with insomnia, think honestly about how much booze you’re consuming. No, it might not just be changing hormones or stress.

6. You prefer to drink at home alone

Do you leave events early so you can have your preferred alcoholic beverage at home, alone? Or do you find yourself declining invitations from friends or family because you’d rather stay home and drink? No matter how you may justify this, it’s a red flag.

7. You’ve googled “Am I an alcoholic?”

This is a big one! I remember doing this exact thing one idle Tuesday evening, glass in hand and heart pounding. But what I read reassured me. No, I don’t have blackouts. No, I don’t experience seizures if I try to stop. No, I don’t wake up in the gutter. I was reassured! So, I don’t have a problem; everything is fine. Except, of course, that subconsciously I knew it wasn’t, or else I would never have found myself in front of the computer researching booze-related warning signs.

The truth is, you don’t have to be Nicolas Cage in the 1995 movie Leaving Las Vegas to suffer from the detrimental effects of alcohol on our health and well-being. In fact, according to the World Health Organization, “alcohol consumption is found to play a causal role in more than 200 diseases, injuries and other health conditions.” Now that’s something to chew on.

Gray area drinking

Does this sound like you? If you recognize yourself in one or several of these tell-tale scenarios, you may be what’s known as a "gray area drinker." Coined by Jolene Park, the term Gray Area Drinking describes the nebulous land between the odd glass of champagne on a special occasion and clinical addiction, where you’re unable to function without alcohol in your system. You haven’t hit rock bottom, but you’re drinking more than you like, and you’re starting to worry.

Next steps

Awareness is the first step toward change, and half the battle as well. If you’ve determined that alcohol isn’t serving you, it’s time to rethink your relationship to it. Take honest stock of your drinking habits; you can start by keeping a journal and jotting down when and why you reach for an alcoholic beverage. This might be very eye-opening indeed.

Then, think about mindfully taking a break. Thirty days is good, but to really feel the positive effects of ditching the booze, more clarity and energy, better mood, sleep, and less anxiety, among many others, why not challenge yourself to 60 or even 90 days alcohol free? Think of it as a health experiment, or a reset. And see how you feel. If the idea scares you (another red flag, in and of itself), remember that it doesn’t have to be forever; it can just be for now. You might be surprised at how downright peppy and positive you feel after even a few weeks!

And if you need motivation, there is no dearth of inspiring Quit Lit titles and podcasts out there, such as Sunshine Warm Sober by Catherine Gray and the Alcohol Free Life podcast. Remember that you are not alone in your preoccupation. More and more people are questioning their alcohol intake and the huge space it takes up in their lives, as the risks associated with it can no longer be denied. And many are discovering the surprising benefits and joys of sobriety. Finally, if you find yourself struggling, don’t hesitate to reach out to us for guidance and support.

Follow me on Instagram, and visit my website for more info!

Read more from Melanie Duriez

Melanie Duriez, Sobriety Life Coach

Melanie Duriez is an accredited Sober Coach and Reiki Master, as well as a contributing author of the best-selling Amazon ebook 25 Sobriety Tips for 2025.

She ditched the booze for good in 2021, after years of struggling to be that mythical “mindful” drinker. Convinced she was condemned to living in shades of grey, she discovered, to her astonishment, just how bright a sober life can be.

She now helps other grey area drinkers around the world break free from the alcohol trap and create a life they don't want to escape from.