Written by: Diane Forster, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Here it is…the end of a year and the start of a brand new one! This is the time of year you promise yourself that you will absolutely stick to your resolutions of losing that weight, quick smoking or drinking, be a better person, find a new job or career, and overall…improve your life.
The problem with “resolutions” is they are usually too big and carry too many expectations. Most people start out strong…going to the gym and working towards their goal of “getting in the best shape” of their lives. 80% of resolutions fail within the first 3-6 weeks of the New Year.
Why do we do this to ourselves? Who started this insane tradition?
Allow me to share what I believe are the reasons that New Year’s Resolutions don’t work.
1. They’re Unrealistic
Most of us set unrealistic expectations that set us up for failure. How many times did you say, “I’m going to hit the gym every day” or “I’m going to finally lose those 10 pounds?” The intention is too intense. If that’s not a habit you already have, your brain will stop you from making it happen. The old paradigms and beliefs that are anchored into your subconscious will do what they always do, which is go back to the familiar patterns. It would be more beneficial to visualize yourself at the gym every day or visualize yourself being 10 pounds thinner first before you move into action to make it happen. Dramatic changes don’t work because our brains are stuck in the old patterns. You must first start with changing the image in your mind so that you can “become” that person before you are able to achieve the goal. So, focus on visualizing the change first. Write about it in a journal, speak it aloud, and “act like” you already are that person first and what that looks like and feels like to be that. You’ll have a much greater chance of making it happen then.
2. They Imply “There’s Something Wrong with Me”
There’s a trigger in your subconscious mind called, “When/Then.” What this means is that you believe when you achieve a certain goal then you get the payoff, like happiness, joy, fulfillment, satisfaction. This stems from childhood. If you’re a parent, you’ll know what I’m talking about. When we were children, or when our children were young, “When/Then” was used to get a desired result. “When you clean your room, then you can go out and play” or “when you eat your chicken, then you can have more French fries.” We’ve been carrying around “When/Then” syndrome most of our lives. We believe that circumstances need to be different than they are for us to be happy and that in order to have pleasurable experiences we need to work for it by doing the “hard stuff” first. Therefore, there’s a part of you that believes that “when” you achieve that desired goal, “then” you will be happy. Happiness is a choice. It’s not conditional. The focus needs to be on being happy “now” …exactly as you are. There’s nothing wrong with you…you’ve just been a victim of an old paradigm and limiting belief that has been making you believe you’re not enough. Trust me…you are enough just as you are!
3. January 1st isn’t the Magical Day You’ve Been Led to Believe It Is!
Where did we get the cockamamie idea that the first of the year is the “Be All End All” magical day that everything in your life is going to change? Real change comes from doing small, subtle shifts. There’s an expression that goes, “small hinges swing big doors.” Micro changes have big impact. My motto is “1% Better Every Day.” If you did 1% better every day, in a year that would equate to 3,778%! THAT’S how to make the shifts you want to make. For instance, if you did want to lose that last 10 pounds and you said to yourself, “I’m going to make tiny changes in my life to get there” and you started doing small, subtle shifts…like drinking more water, choosing salad for one of your meals during the day, and reduced the amount you ate by just a little bit at each meal, that weight would fall off so fast! But, when you set the expectation on the first day of the year that it’s going to miraculously happen then, the moment you “cheat” or fall short on your goal, you instantly feel defeated and revert back to old habits. It just doesn’t work. You can start doing that TODAY…you don’t need the first of the year, or the first of the month, or Monday to start.
Change happens in the “moment by moment” decisions we make all day long. One thing I find that is effective is asking, “Is this helpful or hurtful?” This works for everything…your health, your relationships, your decisions that you have to make all day long. Try this technique now. You don’t have to wait until January 1st to start.
My new best-selling book, “A BETTER TODAY…Improve Your Life in 30 Days with this Fun, Inspirational, Motivational Challenge” will help you make the micro changes that create macro results. These “small hinges” will swing the “big doors” to the changes you’ve been promising yourself you’d make for years.
Get your copy HERE
Let this new year FINALLY be the year you make the changes you want to make. Let this year’s only New Year’s Resolution be that you are no longer going to set unrealistic expectations with New Year’s Resolutions.
Diane Forster, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Diane Forster is an award-winning life coach and intentional living expert. After several life events that led to an attempted suicide, Diane reinvented her life and found her true calling. Now, she helps others transform their lives to live with passion and purpose. As a mindset and manifestation master, she has helped thousands clear away limiting beliefs and feelings of low self-worth to instead bring their ideas to actualization and create the life of their dreams. Diane's TV Show and podcast, "I HAVE TODAY with Diane Forster" offers practical, actionable steps that you can do today. She is also an award-winning inventor, author of 6 books, and has been featured on ABC, NBC, CBS, QVC, ESPN Radio, KHTS Radio, and several other TV, radio, podcasts, and magazines. Her mission: Transform 1 billion lives.
