leadership skills, and how saying no can protect performance, relationships, and long-term success without burning

Written by Rita Haley, Licensed Psychotherapist and Wellness Coach Rita Haley, LMHC, is a leading behavioral health provider and emotional wellness coach specializing in CPTSD and mind-body medicine. She is the founder of Ground & Center, LLC, an online mental health and wellness program, and has guest-starred on platforms such as the Money Loves Women podcast. We’ve all felt it, that tightening in your chest when you know a hard conversation is coming. Maybe it’s about a pattern that’s been bothering you, a boundary that’s been crossed, or a truth that’s long overdue. Whether it’s with a colleague, a friend, or a family member, these conversations can stir up anxiety, self-doubt, and emotional fatigue. And yet, avoiding them doesn’t protect our relationships. It often erodes them quietly beneath the surface. The good news? Difficult conversations don’t have to be destructive. With mindful preparation and conscious communication, they can become a path toward clarity, trust, and deeper connection. Why difficult conversations are worth it Avoidance might feel safer in the moment, but over time it creates distance. When we don’t speak up, resentment can build. Misunderstandings multiply, and the emotional labor of silence weighs heavy. The truth is, meaningful relationships require honesty. When we face hard conversations with care, we model self-respect and extend respect to others. We show up, not to control the outcome, but to speak our truth with kindness and integrity. You don’t have to choose between being kind and being clear . You can be both. The cost of avoidance Let’s name it: sidestepping hard conversations often stems from a fear of conflict or disconnection. But silence can be just as loud. It sends messages we don’t mean to send, like “this isn’t important” or “I’ll tolerate this indefinitely.” For example, not addressing a friend who constantly cancels last-minute can lead to feelings of being unimportant or taken for granted. Naming it gently, though, can open space for realignment and mutual respect. Avoiding discomfort doesn’t preserve harmony. It postpones healing. Strategies for navigating those tough conversations 1. Anchor yourself beforehand Before speaking, take time to ground. Reflect on your “why.” Why does this matter to you? What values are guiding this conversation? Ask yourself: What am I feeling? What do I want to express or make visible? What kind of relationship do I want to cultivate? Journaling or practicing a few deep breaths can help shift from reactive energy into a steady, responsive mindset. Remember, the purpose of communication is not to change someone, but to share and to communicate important information for the purpose of educating another about yourself. Example: Instead of launching into blame, you might begin with, “I really value our connection, and there’s something on my heart I’d like to talk through with you.” 2. Choose a supportive setting Environment matters. Aim for a setting that feels safe, neutral, and free from distractions. Avoid high-stress moments or places where privacy is limited. If it’s virtual, be intentional. Choose a time when both of you are emotionally available and less likely to be interrupted. 3. Use “I” language, not to tiptoe, but to stay aligned with your truth “I” statements are powerful because they keep you connected to your own experience without projecting assumptions. Instead of: “You’re always dismissing me.” Try: “I feel dismissed when I’m interrupted mid-sentence. I’d love for us to slow down and really hear each other.” This isn’t about shrinking back. It’s about owning your voice with clarity and compassion. 4. Listen with generosity Hard conversations aren’t one-sided. True dialogue invites you to listen not just to words, but to the emotions underneath. Practice reflective listening: “It sounds like you’re feeling overwhelmed, am I hearing that right?” “That makes sense. Thank you for sharing that with me.” Even if you don’t agree, acknowledging someone’s feelings can create a powerful shift toward connection. And here’s something I often tell my clients: let others have their feelings. This is one of the biggest reasons we avoid speaking up, we’re afraid of upsetting someone. But I like to tell my clients that if you have something to say that is important, and not saying it will affect your relationship, then you have to allow that other person to experience their emotions. It is not your job to control another's feelings. You cannot prevent another's feelings, but you can support and validate them. That’s emotional integrity. That’s relational courage. 5. Stay grounded if tension rises Not every moment will go smoothly. If things get charged, pause rather than react. You can say: “This feels hard right now. Can we take a few minutes to breathe and come back to this with more calm?” Remember, your nervous system is part of the conversation too. Regulate before you try to relate. 6. Close with care End the conversation with intention. Whether it resolved everything or just opened the door, acknowledge the effort. Reflect back any clarity or next steps: “I’ll check in with you again next week to see how it’s feeling.” And don’t forget to express gratitude: “Thanks for being willing to have this conversation, it means a lot to me.” Affirm the relationship, even if it still needs tending. After the conversation: Repair and realignment Difficult conversations are rarely one-and-done. Consider checking in afterward: “I’ve been thinking about our talk. How are you feeling about it now?” Growth takes time. So does integration. Offer grace, for them and for yourself. And when needed, revisit agreements. When it’s time to get support Some conversations carry deeper emotional weight, especially if there’s a long history of pain, power dynamics, or trauma. In those cases, don’t go it alone. Whether you reach out to a relationship coach, therapist, or mediator, know that asking for support is a sign of strength, not weakness. This isn’t just about communication (it’s about connection) Learning to navigate hard conversations is a powerful step toward emotional maturity, self-trust, and relational healing. You’re not just setting boundaries or solving problems, you’re honoring your own voice while inviting others to meet you in that space. And while it may not always be easy, it will be worth it. So the next time you feel that familiar flutter of fear before a hard talk, take a deep breath. Ground yourself. And remember: you can say what needs to be said with love, clarity, and strength. And if you’re a woman who’d like a little extra support with this, grab 10% off one of my live workshops where we dive into topics just like this one. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Rita Haley Rita Haley, Licensed Psychotherapist and Wellness Coach Rita Haley has, over the course of her career, endeavored to help hundreds of adolescents and adults overcome traumatic losses and experiences. After confronting and conquering her own trauma, Rita decided to transform her memories of pain into power and walk with her clients down the long, winding road to recovery. She approaches every case with immense empathy, compassion and care. Because of the current shortage and ever-increasing need of mental health services, she founded Ground & Center, LLC, an online means of accessing therapeutic interventions with a licensed professional. It is her belief that ALL persons are deserving of compassionate and quality mental health services and she is committed to providing a means to access it.

Have you seen the hashtag burn the resume on social media? We need to burn the resume and focus on the person and the talent .

It might be a breadcrumb trail leading to buried, inherited trauma your nervous system is still carrying When your nervous system is stuck in survival mode, it's like having a car engine revving in park, burning

Written by: Twanna Carter, PhD , Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Networking is a key part o f building your career , but i t can also be exhausting when you don’t have boundaries. It's hard to know where to draw the line between being friendly and being overly accommodating. Here are some tips for setting boundaries with networking colleagues while still protecting yourself in the process. Set your boundaries Don't be afraid to say no. If someone asks you for something that you don't have time or energy for, it’s better to politely decline. Than to accept, and not be able to follow through. Ask for help when you need it! It's okay to ask someone for advice or assistance with something if they have the resources and expertise needed to help you out. Don't be afraid of saying yes when appropriate either! Providing value is how you expand your network to deeper depths. You may want some time alone after networking events, so schedule that in. If you find yourself needing additional support at home while juggling work and other commitments, ask for it. These are all good reasons why setting clear boundaries around how much time people should spend with each other will benefit everyone involved in an authentic way. And can even lead towards forming some lasting friendships! Communicate your boundaries clearly and assertively When communicating your boundaries, it is important to be clear and assertive. This means stating your needs and expectations in a direct and confident way, without being aggressive or passive. Here are some tips for communicating your boundaries clearly and assertively: Use "I" statements to express your feelings and needs. For example, instead of saying "You're making me uncomfortable," you could say "I feel uncomfortable when you touch me." Be specific about what you are and are not willing to do. For example, instead of saying "I don't want to do that," you could say "I'm not comfortable sharing my personal information with you." Be willing to say no. It's okay to say no to requests that make you feel uncomfortable or that you don't have time for. Don't be afraid to change your mind. If you initially agree to something and then change your mind, that's okay. Just be sure to communicate your change of heart clearly and respectfully. When someone asks you for something that makes you uncomfortable, it is important to speak up. You can do this by saying something like: "I'm not comfortable with that." "I'm not willing to do that." "I'm sorry, but I need to set a boundary here." If the other person continues to push past your boundaries, it is important to set a firm boundary and walk away from the conversation. You can say something like: "I've said no. Please stop asking." "I'm not comfortable talking about this anymore. I'm going to leave now." It is important to remember that you have the right to set boundaries and to have those boundaries respected. If someone is not willing to respect your boundaries, it is best to remove yourself from the situation. Additional tips for communicating your boundaries Choose a time and place where you will feel comfortable and safe talking about your boundaries. Be prepared to answer questions about your boundaries. Be willing to compromise, but don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. Remember that you are not alone. There are many people who have been in similar situations and who can offer support. Communicating your boundaries clearly and assertively can be difficult, but it is an important skill to learn. By following these tips, you can set boundaries that protect your physical and emotional well-being. Be prepared to intervene if you feel a boundary is being crossed There will be times when you feel a boundary has been crossed. This can happen for a number of reasons, including: You are in an uncomfortable situation and want to leave the conversation. Someone is taking advantage of your boundaries and it makes you feel bad about yourself or annoyed at them for doing so. Someone is manipulating or pressuring you into doing something that violates one of your personal rules for interacting with others (such as sharing too much information). If any of these scenarios sound familiar to you, then chances are good that someone has breached one of your personal boundaries. Sometimes, without realizing it. That’s why it’s important to have boundaries and communicate them to others. Be prepared to walk away As you set boundaries in networking, you may find that some people are unwilling to respect your limits. That's okay! You don't have to stay in a relationship if it isn't healthy for you or if it's making things worse for everyone involved. If someone consistently makes you feel bad about yourself and/or treats others poorly, then they're probably not someone who deserves your time and energy anyway. If someone continues to cross boundaries with their behavior (even after several conversations), t hen walk away from the toxic situations . This is easi er to do because you’ve set your limits up front. Be sure to stick with them! It muddles the water you say no today, and yes another day. You can have successful relationships while protecting You can have successful relationships and still protect yourself, your time, and your energy. Here are a few tips: Set boundaries. Decide what you will and won't do for others. This means being clear about your limits and expectations. For example, if someone asks for a favor that would take up an hour of your day, you can say something like, "I'm sorry, I'm not able to do that right now. I have other commitments." Be assertive. It's okay to say no, even if you feel bad about it. It's important to set boundaries that you are comfortable with, even if it means disappointing someone. Be respectful. When you say no, be sure to do it in a polite and respectful way. Explain why you are saying no and offer an alternative if possible. Take care of yourself . Make sure to make time for yourself and your own needs. This means getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods, and exercising regularly. Remind yourself that you are not responsible for other people's feelings or reactions. If someone is upset that you said no to a request, that is their problem, not yours. You have the right to protect yourself and your boundaries. Here are some additional tips for setting boundaries in relationships: Be honest and upfront about your needs and expectations. Be willing to compromise, but don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. Be patient and understanding. It may take time for people to adjust to your new boundaries. Remember that you are not alone. There are many people who struggle with setting boundaries. There are resources available to help you, such as books, articles, and online forums. By setting boundaries, you can protect yourself, your time, and your energy, while still having successful relationships. Conclusion Networking is a grea t way to build relationships and make connections with people. It is also important to set boundaries in order to protect your time, energy, and well-being. Remember, networking is a two-way street. It's not just about taking from others, but also about providing value and helping those in your network succeed. By setting boundaries, you can protect yourself from overextending yourself and ensure that your networking efforts are productive and rewarding. Twanna Carter, PhD, ICF Professional Certified Coach (PCC), is a career coach and relationship coach for Twanna Carter Professional & Personal Coaching, LLC . She is a career coach dedicated to empowering Black women leaders, helping them achieve their career goals. With more than 20+ years of experience, Dr. Twanna is recognized as an expert in leadership, personal development, business strategy, career development, and lifestyle balance. Helping professional women navigate change and uncertainty by providing them with the tools and strategies they need to be successful. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Twanna Carter . Twanna Carter, Ph.D., Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine An ICF Professional Certified Coach (PCC) who empowers stressed, busy women execs, tackling impostor syndrome, self-criticism, and doubt to alleviate their stress so that they can find peace of mind and focus on excelling in their careers. Rather than coach symptoms, she leverages her coaching so that women work on the root causes that threaten to sabotage their career and life. Which means clients see immediate change resulting in decreased stress, increased confidence, and shifting from overwhelm to relaxation. Recognized as an Office of Personnel Management Presidential Management Fellow, Twanna left full-time federal employment to be an entrepreneur. She is currently the CEO of Twanna Carter Professional & Personal Coaching, LLC.

Here are seven practical strategies leaders can use to lead through change without burning out their

Here’s the truth, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but science hasn’t figured out how to burn fat from just But if we take a closer look, there are two main reasons why you can’t burn fat from just one spot: When When you’re in a calorie deficit, meaning you burn more energy than you consume, your body mobilizes When you build muscle, you increase your metabolism and burn more calories, even at rest. Cardio helps you burn extra calories, improve heart health, and reach your calorie deficit faster.

Meet Heather Burt, the visionary behind Your Individual EvoLution Directive, or YIELD. Burt, YIELD Coach What drives your passion for Personal Evolution, and what inspired the name of your Burt

Written by Dr. Ardeshir Mehran, High-Achievers Depression & Anxiety Disruptor Psychologist Helping Professionals & Parents Resolve Depression, Anxiety, ADHD, Trauma, and Live a Fulfilled & Bold Life | Author of the Bestseller Book, “You Are Not-Depressed. You Are Un-Finished.” | Keynoter & Podcaster My recent therapy client was a successful executive, a devoted mom, and disconnected from herself. She worked hard to hold everything together at work and at home. She smiled often but also cried a lot in our sessions. “I’m so burnt out,” she told me initially. But it wasn’t burnout. She was deeply depressed and anxious. Frankly, I find the popular conversation about burnout out of focus. Sometimes even faddish. In the U.S., corporations spend around $8 billion annually addressing burnout, with the average cost ranging from $4,000 to $20,000 per employee. Where does this money go? Urgent coaching, retreats, trainings, workshops, mindfulness apps, wellness kits – solutions that often skim the surface. That’s like focusing on the smoke while ignoring the fire beneath. What we overlook are the subterranean factors of depression, anxiety, and ADHD. Let’s look closer. Burnout isn’t a medical diagnosis. According to the World Health Organization, it’s an occupational syndrome from chronic, unmanaged workplace stress. It typically manifests as: Emotional exhaustion: Drained, depleted, unable to cope Depersonalization: Cynicism, detachment, numbness toward life, work, and colleagues Reduced personal accomplishment: Feeling ineffective and worried about failure  Ask yourself: Q: Why do you feel burnt out, while others seem unaffected? A: The differentiator is your level of emotional capacity, or depletion,   often rooted in depression, anxiety, or ADHD. Burnout signals emotional emptiness unfolding slowly, due to: Depression Burnout could be a sign of depression. It's a bi-directional linkage. Emotional exhaustion isn’t just “low motivation” or burnout; it often indicates unprocessed grief, unmet emotional needs, and a soul craving fulfillment. Anxiety Constant worry, fear of failure, and overthinking aren’t just due to workload. They stem from emotional instability, a dysregulated nervous system, and a lack of agency and psychological safety that hold one back. ADHD ADHD significantly increases burnout risk. Why? Because navigating a world not designed for your brain requires constant self-regulation. And that's tiring. It’s not a lack of effort; it’s emotional and cognitive exhaustion. Here’s what you can do For individuals Stop blaming yourself. You’re not weak. You’re emotionally undernourished. Tune into your emotional signals, not just your schedule. Set clearer boundaries. Activate your  Emotional Rights to feel, belong, express, and thrive.   For teams & organizations Shift wellness and burnout initiatives toward emotional fulfillment. Provide systemic, meaningful support, including: Psychology-informed leadership and wellness training (trauma, depression, anxiety, and ADHD) Safe spaces for daily discussions and practices to manage depression, anxiety, and ADHD Measure emotional health as diligently as you track performance KPIs.  Burnout is expensive emotionally and financially. It feeds on emotional starvation.  Burnout ends where emotional health begins. Let’s lead our teams there. Contact me to plan impactful solutions that truly matter for yourself and your team. Bestselling Book:  You Are Not Depressed. You Are Un-Finished. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website  for more info! Read more from Dr. Ardeshir Mehran Dr. Ardeshir Mehran, High-Achievers Depression & Anxiety Disruptor Dr. Ardeshir Mehran is disrupting the mental health field. His mission: Help to heal depression and to ease he emotional suffering of people across the world. Everyone else portrays depression as an immovable cause, a mood disorder that must be treated. Dr. Mehran busts this myth and focuses attention on the real culprit: the unfulfilled life we must lead when we deny our birthrights. He is the developer of The Bill of Emotional Rights©, based on 30 years of research, coaching, and clinical work. Ardeshir is a psychologist, trauma therapist, and behavioral researcher. He has a Ph.D. and a Master's from Columbia University, New York City. He lives in Northern California with his wife, son, and Lucy (family’s golden retriever).

Why people burn out when starting an online business & how to avoid it People begin their business journey Most people don’t burn out because they’re incapable of running a business. They burn out because they jump on quick fixes instead of choosing something real, with the right support The 3 key elements of building a business without burning out The right partnership and products One

Many caregivers burn out not because they don’t care enough, but because they care deeply in systems

Karen Burke, Empowered Recovery Coach Hi Karen, introduce yourself!