Written by: Agnieszka Witkowska, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. What is leadership and why is it talked about so much? Is it a study of oneself or the reality around us? How do you become a Leader and who needs it? Are there people made to be a Leader? Is it a competence or an innate predisposition? Where do I start when I want to embark on this path of experience and responsibility? Is it the form, the task or the quality of fulfilling the role for which we choose to take responsibility? Or do we confuse leadership with management? We can ask ourselves many such questions. With the following text, I want to inspire you and invite you to build your own interpretation of the term 'leadership', highlighting several approaches from which the issue can be approached. At the 'center' of attention from both business and development perspectives, in conversations often, again, is the 'human being' ‒ as a being and as a subject. Which I am particularly pleased to see in view of the 'learning, development and experience sharing path' that I have taken. No matter what stage of life we are currently in, each of us has our individual desires, motivations and potential. The decisions we make and where we want to focus our energy for action depend on us. Both when we learn from others and when we inspire others ‒ let us do so consciously. Only by consciously working on ourselves, learning about our needs and the mechanisms that influence our actions and motivations, will we be able to use our full potential, positively influencing and solving the challenges we face. Looking at the ways we (who is we?) have sought and used so far to 'lead' others, it seems that the methods used so far have proven to have little or no effect. There are many definitions that attempt to describe the issue of leadership, indicating ways in which it can be achieved. So what should be taken into account? Perhaps the answers to the following questions, will bring us closer to that answer: What does life require of us? What do we ourselves want to be in this life? What do we learn and pass on to the younger generations? What does this younger generation want to learn from us and do they even want to be guided by us? Or is it more about the form in which this "leadership" is exercised by us? Or is it about something else? What is really important in this issue? Below I have collected some contemporary (selected) definitions of leadership. Stop by the one that is closest to you. Take from each, that 'something' that particularly speaks to you. I will also encourage you to look at these propositions holistically ‒ from the perspective of not only your intellect, but also the emotions you experience, your physicality and your 'spirituality'. 1. Situational leadership (Kenneth H. Blanchard) ‒ describing leadership as flexibility in the choice of management styles used by an individual, in a particular situation. Assuming that it is not possible to use a learned single type of behavior, to be applied in every situation. This flexibility implies the need to change management style depending on the circumstances. The characteristics of this leadership are communication and a focus on current needs and motivations. 2. Adaptive leadership ‒ performing acts of leadership (Ronald Heifetz) ‒ describing leadership as acting in isolation from one's position or role. It is the given situation that can, by activating our courage and our intrinsic motivation, unleash in us the strength and will to face the encountered difficulty, as a consequence of which we find a solution (irrespective of the function or role we hold at the time). 3. Value-based leadership and inner mission (Simon Sinek) ‒ focusing on the intrinsic motivation to do what inspires us, and consequently having an impact on changing the world and inner fulfilment. Leadership realized through one's individual purpose and that 'something' ‒ one's own reason why I do what I do and 'why' I would inspire others and others would follow me. 4. Empathic leadership ‒ consciously creating a place where we want to belong, while accepting and acknowledging each person's personal and individual values. An empathic leader is someone who is able to empathize with another person's perspective. Empathy in this view is a 'tool'/'competence' that builds and develops awareness to make independent and responsible choices. 5. Servant leadership (Robert K. Greenleaf) ‒ leadership characterized by a truly servile attitude (awareness of personal role and social responsibility) before the desire to direct and manage others. A leader in the view of this leadership is characterized by certain attitudes that influence the development of the potential and satisfaction of others. These include listening, empathy, awareness, commitment to people development or community building. 6. Sustainable leadership (Andy Hargreave) ‒ an approach to leadership that takes into account the possibility of sustainable development taking into account different parties and the environment. A leader who wants to realize his or her leadership in sustainable terms is required above all to change his or her thinking ('mindset'), to navigate the whole 'context' of a situation, to be aware, to take a long-term view, to be trusting and cooperative, to be creative or to create collectives. I have not mentioned authoritarian leadership, based on control, whose main tool is power ‒ the power of the management system given to specific individuals or institutions. Is this a type of leadership? We are already seeing a major shift in attitudes and changes in the management styles used so far and away from traditional models of an autocratic nature in many companies and institutions. The changing world gives us a whole range of options to apply and practice. Leadership is not just a form but a competence through which we can act, facing the unknown and unknowable, something we have rarely experienced before. When things are in flux, we are guided by a vision ‒ a goal and a direction. In a situation of uncertainty, a valuable competence is the ability to 'understand', acquired through interaction and communication with others. If an issue is not understood, it requires clarity and often, the use of 'intuition'. When the environment we are in is complex, we need to invite more clarity, or information, to help us navigate the issues at hand. If we feel anxious, we need to invite more empathy and attentiveness. Conversely, when we are in a situation of ambiguity, we invite more creativity, variation and experimentation into our experience. What is the purpose of your Leadership? Becoming a Leader is a process I invite you to join this adventure. I also invite you to a series of inspirational articles whose intention will be to awaken your inner search for your potential to be and experience "your own leadership style". Follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Agnieszka! Agnieszka Witkowska, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Agnieszka is a People and Culture leader, an expert in the field of human resources with more than 15 years of professional experience in cooperating with consulting companies. She is a Coach, Mentor and a Psychologist/Therapist. In her daily practice and expertise, she combines and applies psychological knowledge with business practice, which undoubtedly distinguishes her leadership style and approach to building valuable relationships with others. She focuses on leadership and talent development. The areas of work she deals with allow her to fulfil her mission: to inspire others, especially women, to be themselves, to discover and fulfil their potential. To show the beauty of the world and to savor life.

Written by: Michelle Schafer, Senior Level Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Leaders ‒ are you encouraging accountability to the team, or accountability to you as a leader? This fall, I watched a lot of rugby – it’s a relatively new passion for my elder son. As a late recruit to this team, the season-end tournament was the first time he played in formal matches with this squad outside of practices. They performed very well in this tournament, winning 4 out of 5 games. My son enjoyed his time with the team, and even earned an MVP recognition! But what was more interesting to me ‒ yes, more than winning, or achieving MVP status ‒ was what was happening both on and off the field. Team members encouraged each other and recognized teammates for scoring a try (a goal in rugby), or making a tough tackle, or being in a position to receive a pass. Players pointed out potential plays on the field, helping each other out. The boys were supportive of each other, and didn't get upset if they had to sit out, as they recognized it was to help the team be the strongest in that moment. And they had a shared team purpose - focused more on advancing plays than the big outcome of winning the game. The team coach is strong - he's extremely knowledgeable about the game, and is great with these kids. But this leader wasn't driving all the activities I mention above. The boys were. They were accountable first to each other, and then to their coach. I imagine they also wanted to make their coach proud, but the strong sense of team came from them. Did this team accountability form magically on its own? Of course not. This is where the coach comes in - I imagine there is lots he is doing in practice to help each member of the team not only feel that sense of belonging, but also to know how they can contribute to this high-performing team, without the coach needing to constantly prompt them. So how do you shift from leader-led accountability to team-led accountability: Using my son’s rugby team and their best practices as a model, here are 5 tips to help you get there: Develop the skills that will allow team members to take the lead – In rugby, coaches teach everything in practice and on game day, the captains take the lead. They lead the warm up, they coach their team in the field, and they lead by example. Accountable teams have strong coaches and mentors. Build trust ‒ There is no shouting from the coaches on the sidelines because the team is trusted to make decisions and play the way they have been taught with minimal direction from the coach. Trust your team to know what they are doing, and be there to provide support when they need it. Be consistent and inclusive – In rugby, kids are given equal time on the pitch and no matter whether it is your first day or 9th year with the team you are treated with the same level of respect and encouragement to succeed. The result: a team who can be successful with any mix of players or skill levels. Celebrate wins and discuss failures together – Whether the game is won or lost, there are opportunities for learning and ongoing development. Teams are more accountable to each other when they celebrate successes together and help each other in challenging times. “I” is replaced by “we”. Have a shared purpose - In the game, the purpose is to advance plays and support each other in the process. The purpose is not about winning (although it's always nice when that happens!) If any one player is more focused on the win, then the team effort suffers, as some players are focused on one purpose while others are focused on another. Leaders can help teams develop awareness and acceptance of what that purpose needs to be. Leaders ‒ what are you doing to foster accountability within your team? How does team accountability "show up"? I'd love to hear below. Follow me on Facebook, Linkedin, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Michelle! Michelle Schafer, Senior Level Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Michelle Schafer is an International Coaching Federation Certified Coach and Facilitator specializing in career transition and leadership. She is the owner and founder of Michelle Schafer Coaching, empowering people to achieve career fulfillment. Michelle has personally experienced two significant career transitions through restructuring and has reinvented herself for new careers both times. She deeply understands the physical, emotional and mental impact associated with a job search. Michelle is passionate about people and inspired by their progress, working with clients at all levels of an organization and across sectors including federal and municipal government, high tech, not-for-profit and financial services. Michelle offers coaching 1:1 in groups and recently was certified in the foundations of team coaching with the Global Team Coaching Institute.

Written by: Carolina Gonzalez, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. We constantly hear about the power of being grateful from all the enlightened masters, whether if it's through divinely inspired writings, direct mediumship and channeling, or any other of the many ways that the Higher Consciousness uses to communicate with us, but – do you really understand how gratefulness works, and what it can do for you? Most people thinks of gratefulness as something positive, but few people see it for what it truly is: an active tool, a transformational power that can change your mind completely, and therefore your whole life. Turning gratefulness into a superpower is rooted into just one simple belief: that whatever we appreciate, we increase. If we learn to see where we sabotage ourselves, and stop doing it, there is really no limit to the level of growth and expansion we can achieve; let's see some examples. Example 1: You just got a small gift of money from a friend, a small bonus at work, or a small inheritance. Avoid saying like I'm grateful, but it won't make me rich or I'm grateful, but it won't fix everything. Why? Because whatever comes after but negates your gratefulness, and its power. Instead, say I am grateful for this sign of more abundance to come, and I bless (whoever gave it to you). That way, you are actively stating that the Universe will be sending even more abundance your way. Example 2: Someone you love tells you that you are beautiful, or intelligent, or kind, or strong, or all of it. Avoid saying Thank you, but you don't need to say that, or dismissing the compliment in any way, even with a gesture. Let it in, and thank the person with love. When you are alone, replay that moment and say I am grateful for this sign of love and appreciation, and I bless (whoever gave you the compliment). That way, you are stating that you are accepting that love, and that the Universe will be sending more your way. Example 3: You have asked God/the Spirit Guides/the Higher Consciousness for a sign. You receive an answer, but you feel like you need a confirmation. Avoid saying things like Thank you, but this is not enough or I am not sure what this message means. Instead, say I am grateful for this sign/message, and I am trusting that I am being divinely guided through it. That way, you are informing Divinity that you have noticed their communication, and stating that your channeling will be strengthened. These three examples show what being actively grateful really does for you – it is you, empowering yourself by multiplying your own blessings. It's not a passive process, because you are taking what you are given, and telling the Universe that you want more of it. This is why I always say that Grateful Is A Verb. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Carolina! Carolina Gonzalez, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Carolina Gonzalez is a Spiritual Counsellor, Spiritual Worker, Master Herbalist, and Holistic Health Counsellor, with over three decades of experience. For the past fifteen, she has offered her services online, mostly doing custom spiritual work, and guiding people to a deeper and more authentic relationship with their spiritual heritage and personal power. Through her social media and blogs, Carolina actively educates on all these topics, to a loyal and self-aware worldwide community of customers.

Written by: Shona Hirons, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. I was talking to someone the other day who told me that she was feeling very stressed about Christmas this year, because despite having a good job, she is going to have to make some sacrifices this Christmas, but didn’t know how. She told me that usually, they put their Christmas lights up in mid-November, but with the increase in energy prices, she won’t be putting any Christmas lights up this year. She also has 3 children to buy for, 7 nieces and nephews, parents, friends, and a secret Santa at work. This got me thinking of a smarter way for her to prepare for Christmas, along with anybody else who is struggling. Three years ago we were struggling financially and had to rely on food banks in order to just eat from one week to the next. When it came to Christmas that year, we looked at smarter ways to enjoy it and we had a fabulous Christmas. In fact, Christmas lights cost less to run than you may think. Experts at Festive Lights have concluded that households with LED lights could end up spending less than £1 to light up their homes this year because Christmas lights are LED powered, which is more energy-efficient and less costly. Financial overwhelm can be one of the biggest causes of stress and can leave you feeling burnt out. The World Health Organisation describes burnout as “a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed…” However, is it time for this definition to be changed? The last couple of years has had an impact on our emotional and financial stress. I speak with people every day who say they are feeling burnt out and immediately they blame the workplace. Often, when I dig deeper, the cause isn’t because of their work, but other problems, such as finances, illness, grief, relationship issues, and unhealthy boundaries. In turn, this has a negative impact on their performance at work, because the feelings associated with burnout, such as obvious behavioral changes, denial, withdrawal, depression, working harder, because they are falling behind, neglecting their needs, and conflict with others, can all lead to a complete breakdown if not managed. The workplace has a duty of care to their staff to ensure their staff is well and perhaps more could be done by organizations to listen to their staff and take time to understand what is causing them to feel burnt out, rather than just putting more pressure on them. When you are feeling overwhelmed, it can be hard to see the wood through the trees and it is easy to start catastrophizing things. What we need to do is look for the solution, rather than focus on the problem. Here are 8 ways to ease the financial burden this Christmas. 1. Communicate with family and friends Do you really need to buy a gift for every family member and friend? The chances are, they will be feeling the same as you because the cost of living has affected everyone. Three years ago, instead of buying a gift for everyone, we did a Secret Santa for the whole family. Each person ended up buying one gift, which cost slightly more, but everybody got something really nice and something they could use, rather than it just ending up in the car boot sale in a few months time. 2. Set a budget Following on from the first suggestion, make sure everybody is on the same page when it comes to a budget. Ours was £50 and if you’re smart, starting from mid-November, there are some great bargains to be hard in the shops. And don’t forget Black Friday (25th November) and Cyber Monday (28th November). 3. Use your loyalty points I had a surprise when I did some Christmas shopping in Boots recently. I had picked up some great bargains around the store but still had a shock when my bill came to £133. I decided to see if I had any points on my Advantage Card and it cleared the whole lot. I decided to check my other loyalty points with other stores and realized I have lots of rewards waiting for me. If you save your points until you really need them, you could do most, if not all, of your Christmas shopping with them. 4. Get creative I saw a candle-making kit the other day for less than £20. Not only will a candle make a great gift for anyone, but when they are hand-made, they mean more to people, they can also help keep energy costs down, and making them can help take your mind off your worries. 5. Buy early If you do have lots to buy this Christmas, the earlier you start the better. Buy things when they are on offer. Just make sure you remember where you put them. There is a chance that Bird Flu could affect the supplies of turkeys this Christmas, so if you can, buy it now and freeze it. 6. Make a plan It can be easy to go over the top and buy far too much in the run-up to Christmas. Keep a planner and stick to it. 7. Recycle old gifts How many gifts are sitting in your wardrobe from last Christmas that you didn’t use? Every year I end up with about a dozen tubs of body butter, which is very nice, but I’ll probably end up with the same this year. I know that my daughter and friends will appreciate this for Christmas. 8. Don't waste food One of my favorite meals of the year is a bubble and squeak from the leftover vegetables on Christmas Day. I make a habit of buying vegetables when they are on offer in the supermarket and making a big tray of roasted vegetables. I use the leftovers for a delicious bubble and squeak the following day whatever the time of year. One of the most important things I’ve learned is to communicate and swallow my pride. Tough times make tougher people. With the right mindset, you can get through anything. Follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Shona! Shona Hirons, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Shona Hirons is an award-winning global Resilience and Burnout Coach. A breakdown from work-related stress, which led to a life-changing accident, requiring major facial reconstructive surgery and brain damage, gave her a big wake-up call. During her recovery, she went on a journey of self-discovery to rebuild her resilience, consider her values and achieve all the things she was told she couldn't do. Shona has developed strategies to boost her resilience, and now helps others to do the same. She is the CEO of Mindset in Motion, and a leader in corporate wellbeing, working with corporate clients in over 195 countries. Her mission: To improve the well-being of people and businesses throughout the world.

Written by: Pia King, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Whatever you are looking for is looking for you... I love this saying now, as it took me a while to understand what it really meant. Whatever you are looking for is looking for you, and it resonates differently for everyone, but it holds true for each of us. Just think back to when you were a child and your teacher, parent or another source figure asked you want you wanted to be when you grew up. What was that? How did it make you feel to want to be that? Did you want to be a doctor, dentist, banker, lawyer, firewoman, fireman, teacher, astronaut, or the President of the United States? Did you become what you said you’d be as a child? I can clearly remember wanting to be a veterinary and a hairstylist. I loved animals, especially cats and dogs. Styling my doll babies, and my mom and sister’s hair put me in my own world. I don’t know if I knew it then but, being around my pets and doing my hair was very soothing to me. As I grew older and stepped out of my safe space into the grown-up world, other people’s realities took over. I will admit that my formative years of school were interesting. I was exposed to other children and families from different cultures and countries. This was exciting. The kids I went to school with had what I thought at the time were far out and interesting. They wanted their children to call them by their first names and be best friends. This was my first exposure to school field trips in the mountains of West Virginia at Coppers Cove. I was spending time with other kids that didn’t look like me, consumed different foods, wore different clothes, spoke other languages, and even danced differently. My family trips took us to the Caribbean, New York City, and to my mother’s childhood home in the south. This was a huge change from my family vacations which were our bonding time going see family along the east coast or the islands. In college, I found yet another interest in communications, radio, television, and film. Yes, I was going to be the next Oprah Winfrey behind the mic. A very competitive field at the time and finding a job was, well it was challenging and very stressful. What was I going to do now? Bills don’t get paid by wishful thinking. Eventually, I ended up in a government position and returned to school to attain a master’s degree in social work. Not so bad, after all, I did enjoy working with children. After seventeen years under my belt in public service in child welfare, my soul began to cry out “this is not what I want to do, it’s hard, sad, painful, and draining”. Now don’t get me wrong, social work is not for the faint of heart, a rewarding career, but it no longer felt good. I wanted to help people move from bad to good, help put their lives back together or create new lives for themselves and their families. Dealing with the families that were caught in government and legal systems took a toll on my overall health and well-being. I had to get out and find my joy and passion again. But how to do that was the major question. I sat down with my husband and said “honey we have to talk” yes, the dreaded honey we must talk discussion. However, I think he knew it was coming. He knew that my health was in jeopardy, I wasn’t happy doing what I was doing, and I was not present in our home life because I was always tired and didn’t feel good. He asked me two things: What do you want to do and how can I help? My heart did a triple flip and I felt so free. My husband was an entrepreneur who clearly understood where I was coming from. He retired from law enforcement years ago because of the stress and devastation that he witnessed day in and day out. He stepped into his passion for real estate investing, and financial services and owns a luxury transportation service. He told me “Honey you have to get your passion and joy back and this time don’t let anything get in your way”. Together we created a vision board of what we both wanted together, developed a plan of action, and implemented a budget plan since I was going to leave my job. It didn’t happen overnight and there were some bumps along the way. However, my energy changed, my vibration was stronger, and I felt the sides of my mouth start going in an upward motion. Was the smile returning to my face? I started to feel better because I was creating a vision for myself that I held when I was that kid, full of choices and “I can do that”. Today I can say that I found my way back to radio and television as the executive producer and Podcast-talk show host of “Living Life In Mid Life”; a published author and speaker; owner of a holistic psychotherapy practice and the Oracle Boutique. A global health and wellness retreat business where we travel the world helping women and men discover their true gifts and passions. Life just gets better and better when you take the time to sit and be still. Step out of all the noise that is around you and de-clutter your physical and mental space. Once I turned off the noise and de-cluttered, my joy and passion found me. The union was bliss and each day a new bud blossomed filled with more adventures, possibilities, opportunities, light, and love. So, I leave you with this, each of us has gifts and talents that may have been left behind or forgotten. Life may have steered you down another path or you received negative feedback or input from someone who didn’t make their dreams come true. So, I invite you to turn off the noise, declutter your physical and mental space, have an empowerment chat with your spouse or confidant and create your vision plan, develop your plan of action, and go seek out your joy and passion. This is your life, Live It Vibrantly. Follow me on LinkedIn, and visit Your Whole Life Financial Services or MSW Life for more info! Read more from Pia! Pia King, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine When human beings experience trauma or significant life stressors, it is not uncommon for their lives to begin to unravel. Her greatest passion is bringing healing to people who have been through traumatic/stressful experiences. She believes that the “Almighty can not reach us in a spirit of fear”. She works with her clients, who include youth, adults, and families, to find healthy coping skills and strengthen their self-esteem. As a Lupus Warrior, she knows that no single approach is the right one for every individual, and so she has been trained in a range of modalities including Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), and Stress Management Therapy (SMT), Complementary Alternative Healing, such as, Energy Healing, Aromatherapy and Reiki. Her educational background includes a BA in Mass Communication and a Master of Social Work from Howard University. She is currently working on her Doctoral degree in Theocentric Psychology/Metaphysical Science at the University of Sedona. She is a licensed social worker with a concentration in health care services. As a case manager serving the Special Needs community, she realized that many of her clients were not only dealing with complex disabilities and behavioral health concerns, but many were struggling with social determinants, including inadequate housing/homeless, unemployment, food insecurities, anxiety and trauma. With this in the forefront of her mind, she is obsessed with helping people have more access to better mental, behavioral and spiritual health supports. As a result of her commitment to working with communities of color, Pia launched her private practice six years ago and currently sees clients diagnosed with Lupus and chronic pain. She is the Executive Producer and Host of Getting Better and Stronger Everyday Podcast and Living Life In Mid Life Radio, speaker, trainer, a published author of several books, including, Healing Grace: Through Light and Love- A Journey with Lupus and The Self-Esteem Journal, In Everything Pray- 30 Day Prayer Journal and Getting Started with Estate Planning. Her books can be found on Amazon, The Book Patch, and Payhip. You can find Pia here or helping individuals step into their passion.

Chris Janssen is a Board Certified Life Coach and Author of the book, Living All In: How to Show Up for the Life You Want. With an honest, strategic style she helps her clients master habits and skills to move toward and thrive in what they love. Chris excels in working with high performers and understands the character traits associated with driven achievers. As a trained Business Coach, Chris specializes in closing the gap between where a company or individual is and where they want to be. Chris partners with her clients to access the creativity and resourcefulness necessary to achieve the sustainable results they want. She cares deeply about her clients' careers, relationships, spirituality, wellness, health, patterns, and mindsets. Chris says her clients are experts at what they do and she is an expert at the psychology of what they do. Together they are unstoppable. Chris Janssen, Author And Coach Who is Chris Janssen? I am a wife, mom, author and board-certified life coach with a master's in counseling psychology. I love energizing clients to close the gap between where they are and where they want to be. My husband, Scott, and I are California natives. We currently split time between Los Angeles and Castle Pines, Colorado, where we love to ski, golf, be with our horses, adventure outside, and be in community with our church family and neighborhood. Together we raised three children, now thriving young adults. Why did you write Living All In? I initially wrote a guide for my clients and included my favorite coaching exercise. Then an author friend encouraged me to broaden my audience, hire an editor and designer, and create a book. I began writing during the great shutdown of 2020 and was published last month. Living All In is written in love—for my clients, for you, and as a reminder to myself of the things that are working for me now. What was the biggest challenge during this project? My favorite part of this project is that it’s written for others. I wrestled with the thought, why would anyone want to read what I have to say? The big stretch was getting out of my head to focus on what could be shared through me, not for me. What will readers gain from Living All In? We've all tried to think our way out of behaviors and feelings we don't want. I have helped hundreds of clients do that, successfully and sustainably. In Living All In, I share what I’ve learned, personally and from my clients, then place the keys to the life others want in their hands. My book is written at an interactive, conversational pace, similar to a coaching session with me. Both my work with a new client and my book begin by asking the question, “What do you want?” Knowing the answer to that question and acting on it will change your life. Readers will be given the tools to quickly discover how to tap into their resourcefulness and embrace an empowering story. Who should read Living All In? Any person or business wanting to move forward. The tools and exercises included are applicable to anyone, whether they need to get unstuck or are already thriving and want to move to the next level. Readers will gain applicable techniques to shift their mindset to one that serves them even more. What are the top 3 things readers will learn? How to choose language, focus, and stories that serve them. How to use feelings as alarm bells to either steer clear or lean in. How to create energizing instead of exhausting life narratives. In summary, Living All In identifies unhelpful narratives you may be telling yourself. You’ll learn to think thoughts that serve you and dump those that don't, because you are magnificent. You deserve the right to control your thoughts, decide how you feel, and show up for the life you want! Start living it today! Living All In: How to Show Up for the Life You Want is AVAILABLE NOW ON AMAZON! © 2022 Chris Janssen. No part of this article may be reproduced online or in print without the author’s written permission. Want to learn more from Chris? Follow her on Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin or visit her website. Read more from Chris!

Written by: Atanas Piskachev, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. 2023 is a year of hope and a promising future that will lighten up the world from the dread and bitter reality of the past years living in the pandemic. COVID-19 has tested humanity in ways no one could have ever predicted. The pandemic has changed the existence of humankind in unprecedented ways that have transformed how people work, study, and interact all of which have a major impact on our mental and physical health. This unprecedented period has drastically altered people's perspectives on life, priorities, and lifestyles. It has caused a paradigm shift from the normal to the new normal era, greatly affecting different business industries with their employees. With these sudden changes, employees also experience unprecedented issues with their well-being, especially their mental health. The subject of well-being has grown in popularity as workers worldwide explore a new work-life balance while working from home. Since COVID-19, mental health has also gained more significance. Workers’ emotional and mental well-being was already an issue of great concern to companies, given the risks and uncertainties inherent in a changing employment landscape. The stresses associated with COVID-19 – such as job insecurity, health risks, caregiving responsibilities, and adjustments to remote working – can have repercussions on performance and achievement. Well-being, more than ever, is now an integral part of the relationship between employer and employee. Here are five ways to ensure that your employees’ mental health is prioritized during these times of post-pandemic era: 1. Listen to the voices of your employees The company's backbone is its loyal, hard-working, and diligent employees. They are the ones who keep the company going and thriving. Therefore, it is crucial to know what they want, what they need, and what their requests are. With the continuous shift of the working setup for the past years, employees continue to support and do their best to provide the company with the best output, service, or product. Therefore, it is their right to be heard. Employees’ well-being should be a top priority of a company because it significantly impacts the company’s growth and success. A happy and healthy employee results in a thriving, successful business. 2. Provide regular coaching or mentoring sessions to know the status of your employees’ mental health and adjust your company's system accordingly. Companies should provide coaching and mentoring sessions regularly to check on their employees' mental health. With the gradual post-pandemic shifts that are happening again, a mentor or a coach is a lifesaver for suffering and adjusting employees. This program also improves employees' well-being, which results in a positive working environment that improves productivity and collaboration. These mentoring sessions will also allow employees to voice their suggestions or thoughts about where the company can improve. This will help the company to implement policies to help improve employees' mental well-being, most especially during these testing times. 3. Have a regular mental health check-ups and hire a coach to monitor them individually Additionally, one of the benefits of health coaching is that employees will have someone to help them manage and cope with their stress levels. The risk of burnout decreases as the workforce improves its ability to manage stress with the help of a professional. Having a professional health coach or mentor in your organization makes your employees feel important and special, which in turn encourages them to give their best in everything they do. 4. Create and promote ways to encourage a positive and healthy working environment Whether someone is facing an issue at work or home, they may benefit from having someone to talk to. Consider putting together a well-being team of volunteers that employees can reach out to for confidential conversations and guidance. They may not feel comfortable talking to someone on their team, so make sure to involve people from various departments. Providing a training course on wellbeing will also better equip staff to support others and improve the quality of their advice. 5. Organize fun and collaborative activities to ensure that employees are connected to let them feel that they are not alone. During this time when the world took a huge turn that brought about stressful and devastating changes in the working environment, organizing fun and collaborative activities will be able to ease their worries and lower their stress levels. In this fast-progressive era, having activities to "escape" and enjoy life from time to time is a gift that employees deserve. From a tiring and dreadful reality, employees need to experience fun activities that will refuel and reignite their motivation, passion, and love of work. Are your employees healthy? Are your workers happy? What is your company’s production level? Is your company’s working environment encouraging and safe for employees to express their thoughts and ideas? Do your employees feel important and that their needs are prioritized or are they the other way around? The core value of genuinely caring for your people and wanting them to lead happier and healthier lives not only makes sense to the individual and personal as such, but also for business performance and success. Healthy and happy employees are important to an organization’s success and growth. Prioritizing their mental health is a key to improving and consistently growing as an institution with a strong backbone and solid foundation. Focusing and prioritizing your employees' health is a powerful tool in conquering the business industry and being the number one company. Worker well-being is a key factor in determining an organization's long-term effectiveness. It does not only keep employees happy and employee retention high, but it consistently improves productivity levels, which is beneficial to the company’s overall standing. Should you need a health and wellness coach for your organization, do not hesitate to reach me at any time. Check out my profile and my social media accounts for more info. I am dedicated to helping entrepreneurs and employees integrate a healthy lifestyle into their hectic schedules in this demanding and fast pacing world. Follow me on Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Atanas! Atanas Piskachev, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Atanas is a holistic health coach specializing in mindset performance, helping entrepreneurs and executives incorporate a healthy lifestyle into their hectic schedules. He has over 10 years of experience in the field, working with various people and organizations globally to explore many different cultures and human behaviors. By virtue of his brand AtanasFit, Atanas is committed to helping people raise the bar for their health and fitness through direct coaching, writing articles, and creating YouTube videos.

Written by: Nathalie Colin, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Often, one of the most prominent challenges CEOs or leaders face is loneliness. Bosses or top managers may have difficulties telling in confidence what they go through. Leaders want to protect the people they care about from their doubts, fears, or concerns. And they end up having no one to trust enough to challenge their thoughts and shift their perspective on what they experience. And because they are the Boss, the people they work with often hesitate to speak their truth and offer their disruptive ideas. Leaders end up caught up in their inner chatter. And sometimes, keep on addressing the issues with the same thinking as usual, which doesn't benefit their organization. As Einstein said: "We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them." In this article, I propose one common sense and two unconventional solutions to the loneliness of leadership. Are you ready to shake your point of view? The actual Board of the company As a CEO, you can reach out to the actual Board of your company. Again, this is where you should develop a culture of open talk. When you make sure various expertise are represented in your Board and when you set the intention of transparency, it helps sort out strategic issues and supports the company's development. But the reality is that even though you have succeeded in creating such a great culture at a board level, you may still have an inner voice preventing you from genuinely sharing what you deal with as a boss. And that's perfectly normal. Plus, what do you do when you're a solopreneur or do not belong to any board? Are you condemned to the loneliness of leadership? No! There are other accessible alternatives. And my favorite one consists in creating your Boards of Consciousness! The Personal Advisory Board. Even though you're a boss or a leader, as a human being, you live in environments other than your work where you know people you truly trust. To overcome your loneliness and benefit from a fresh perspective, you may create your "Personal Advisory Board." You will invite a small circle of persons not business related but whom you can lean on. These people should match your values and remain kind in interacting with you. What matters is that you feel safe enough to share with them what you go through and ask for their authentic feedback or advice. Feeling safe means that: You can open up to them without fearing to worry them. There might be better options than a lover or a family member for such a board. You fully trust them for their experience/expertise. They will provide some refreshing and unbiased points of view. But choose them wisely. A dear friend but competitor may still answer with unconscious filters even though they have the best intentions for you. There is no need to regularly summon a "Personal Advisory Board" with all the members. You can instead call upon some of them 1:1 according to their experience and field of expertise when you feel stuck in your head and need some open challenge. The Soul Board. Now, to elevate your level of consciousness and think out of the box, I suggest you create your Soul Board. The persons you invite in are not physically present. Instead, call their energy, mindset, and philosophy of life and put yourself in their shoes to get insights about your situation. These persons can be alive or dead. They could be people who inspire you a lot, such as Einstein (in my case). Or they could also be some spiritual kind of "wise masters" to whom you feel very connected (angels, Buddha, a Divine Source, the Universe...). Or even a much older version of yourself! So, when you feel alone and stuck, this is the moment when you can call upon your "Soul Board" and ask each of its members to offer you their broader view. Don't be shy. Nobody can see you. Play the game and engage the conversation with them. You will be surprised at what you get from these unconventional exchanges. And such a Board is always available to you in a minute. Your time is precious. And the members of your Soul Board are always at your service whenever you need them. So, who will you invite to your "Personal Advisory Board" and "Soul Board"? And if you need more 1:1 safe space where to share what you can't anywhere else and where you will elevate your business consciousness, book a call with me. I'd love to talk to you. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Nathalie! Nathalie Colin, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Nathalie Colin is a Business coach on a mission to help pioneers increase their positive impact globally. In 2015 she came close to a stroke, and she initiated a spiritual journey that led her to quit her successful career in advertising strategy. The leaders and entrepreneurs she coaches are visionary, humble, generous, and work tirelessly. But seeking excellence, they control or suppress part of themselves and often live as impostors. Deep inside, they feel frustrated and think they are missing out on something essential. Nathalie helps them raise their Consciousness, lead from Soul and boldly expand their Contribution to this world.

Written by: Anna Krzysztoszek, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. While working on our long-term goals and visions there are moments of hopelessness and doubt as the journey sometimes seems to have no end. As Nelson Mandela said, “It always seems impossible until it’s done”. Here are some tips on how to keep up good spirits and make faith and hope stay. 1. Replace goals and deadlines with habits and routines Goals and deadlines can create a lot of pressure. On the one hand, it can be a positive, energy-boosting experience, but as far as long-term goals are concerned, too much pressure can make us feel tired and discouraged. One of my favorite ways to manage such situations is to split big goals into daily, smaller ones, which feel like habits or daily routines. Do you need to read a 600-page-long book for an exam? Split it into small, daily portions and set a daily time frame for it. Make a daily routine out of it. Read daily 10 or 30 pages – or whatever is possible for you right now ‒ without focusing on how much work is still left. 2. Recognize progress and enjoy the journey Once in a while, on a weekly or monthly basis ‒ whatever seems suitable for you – recognize the progress you have made and tap yourself on the shoulder. After a month, those 10 pages a day sum up to about 300 pages which is half the mentioned 600-page-long study book. After recognizing the progress, continue the process and make it even more pleasant than before – with your favorite cup of tea, candles, or music in the background. Enjoy those moments as we create our future while we read, study or work. 3. Celebrate milestones and connect with others Every 3, 6, or 12 months celebrate and share your milestones with family and friends. We tend to appreciate our progress, even more, when we don’t feel isolated and can share our joy with others. In such moments we connect with others, and get a positive energy boost needed for the next phase of our journey. It is also a great possibility to inspire and encourage those around you who are just starting their journey. For the majority of us, sharing and inspiring others is an additional confirmation that it was all worth it! Follow me on Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Anna! Anna Krzysztoszek, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Anna Krzysztoszek has more than 20 years of international experience in business ‒ from large corporations to start-ups. She is the owner of Green Butterfly ‒ Coaching & Recruiting. The completion of her German and Dutch studies, her pedagogical education, the certificate of a Psychological Advisor and various business degrees, such as Master of Business Administration (MBA), reflect Anna's main focus and passion: combining her economical expertise with the always present interest in people and the art of making the best of our lives. This especially applies to professional matters ‒ after all, we spend a third of our life at our workplace.

Written by: Fabrice Testa, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. You're an entrepreneur, an innovator, or a game-changer, and you desire to supercharge your business and yourself to finally achieve what you deserve. Then, apply these 7 powerful habits which will allow you to stay positive, healthy, and grateful while eliminating roadblocks, acquiring a champion mindset, and making the required transformation to achieve your big and hairy goals. Across the planet, entrepreneurs and innovators are actively working to solve humanity's toughest problems. They tackle an insurmountable problem to create the kind of breakthrough business that can fix it. In the Age of Exponential Acceleration, super-entrepreneurs have become motivated to act boldly and change the way we travel, eat, work, and simply go about our daily lives. By applying the habits of such "Super-Entrepreneurs", you will have an unfair advantage in those turbulent times. You will be in a better capacity than others to materialize your breakthrough potential. You will be able to unleash your true genius and achieve your goals. You will be able to supercharge your business and yourself. Habit No.1 Focuses on the Positive Focusing on the positive makes life more enjoyable. It lowers depression and reduces stress and pain. It will make you strong psychologically and physically. Super-Entrepreneurs have positive reference points that pull them into a new way of seeing things. Do similarly and you will see a new world of possibilities. For example, having world-class mentors or role models can inspire you to play a bigger game, and help you realize far more of your potential. I also recommend always seeing the best in any situation. Stay focused on the solution not on the problem. PRO TIP: Have positive reference points like the good things that happened in your life or your organization, or mentors who inspire you. remember there is always a solution to any problem. Habit No.2 Stay Healthy Super-Entrepreneurs have high levels of energy, allowing them to enjoy the variety that life has to offer. First of all, you should exercise at least 3 hours per week. It doesn't matter if it's intense weightlifting or a nice walk in the forest. When you exercise you will boost your performance at work. You will look and feel more attractive, reinforcing your self-esteem and your self-confidence. As a leader, you will improve your capacity to convince investors, customers, and employees. Then, eat well. Drink plenty of water, and limit alcohol and sugar consumption. Eat more vegetables and legumes than meat. Prefer whole foods to processed ones. Finally, sleep enough because champions must recover enough. PRO TIP: If you want to materialize your breakthrough potential, staying healthy is a prerequisite. Stay disciplined and you will see your level of energy skyrocketing! Habit No.3 Be Grateful When you are grateful, in large and small ways for the good things in your life and your business, fear disappears, and you'll attract incredible abundance. Life will always give grateful people even more things to be grateful for. Most Super-Entrepreneurs spend five to ten minutes every night positively reflecting upon their day. You can do the same. Don't just record what you did; explain why you're grateful for whatever happened. PRO TIP: Build gratitude into your day the same way you build in exercise or healthy food. Gratitude is a muscle. Exercise it. Habit No.4 Practice a Mental Activity Your mind is also a muscle you must exercise every day. Important is to do something. If you do not like meditation like me, then you can read a book (even 10 minutes per day) or write in a journal your thoughts of the day. You can also practice productive thinking like I'm used to doing when walking or driving. Some other techniques include the following ones: in the morning, say morning positive affirmations, or lie on the ground and do mindful breathing to relax and feed your mind with positive images. You can also do mindful awareness by clearing your head of negative thoughts. PRO TIP: Train your mind as a champion. Feed it with positive things that rise you and your venture to new levels. Declutter your mind from all the garbage. Habit No.5 Plan your Life and your Business Planning is powerful because it allows you to control your life and your business. It allows you to achieve your long-term goals while managing the small tasks that are key to reaching those aims. Through careful planning, you can anticipate likely challenges that can arise during execution and map out several options for those challenges before they happen. PRO TIP: Make plans and examine what is the best possible outcome. Inspect this outcome in your mind's eye and see if you can improve your plan so that it leads to an even better outcome than the one you initially envisioned. Eliminate potential roadblocks and find ways to surpass your intended goals. Habit No.6 Step out of your Comfort Zone Say goodbye to your comfort zone, trust your crazy ideas, break the status quo, build disruptive solutions, and enter new markets. Don't be afraid to take daily risks. It's another muscle you need to develop. Through the process of building this muscle, you'll realize that the upside of taking a risk if it pays off usually exceeds the pain of a moment of rejection or failure. Keep challenging yourself and your organization to do better and be better. Refuse to be average. Stand for what's best. PRO TIP: Commit to challenging, audacious, and risky goals and projects. You will engage people to follow you because those goals are so bold and exciting that they will stimulate progress. Habit No.6 Act as the organization you want to be If you try to mimic another company, your venture will become nothing at all. The breakthrough venture you have the possibility of becoming is the greatest version of it. You cannot WANT your organization to do something or HAVE anything; your organization can only BECOME what is necessary to attract what you desire for it. PRO TIP: Your venture will only be as great as it is. Your role as a leader is to make your organization acts already today as the one you want to be. How to make it I recommend building one habit at a time. No one has the discipline to acquire more than one powerful new habit at a time. Then, give each habit enough time. You must stick with the discipline long enough for it to become routine. Remember that habits, on average, take 66 days to form. Once a habit is solidly established, you can build another one. It is also important to track your progress. Hence, review your progress every week, every quarter, every 6 months, and finally every year. The most important is to not give up. In the pursuit of success, you must be prepared to deal with tough times, but when you feel like giving up, remember why you started. Keep cool and solve quickly short-term problems. Don't listen to naysayers and just move on. I hope applying these 7 habits will bring your life more joy and success. If you would like to get my coaching to elevate you and become a Super-Entrepreneur, I developed a 12-week online program, The Crazy Method Launchpad to support you in your journey. The next cohort will start on 14 January 2023. To express your interest, please fill out this quick application form. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Twitter, or visit my website for more info! Read more from Fabrice! Fabrice Testa, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Fabrice Testa, is a coach, keynote speaker and bestselling author. He is a Visionary Thought Leader who has been featured in prestigious media like Forbes, Entrepreneur, Business Insider and Jack Canfield's Success TV. Testa is the author of Super-Entrepreneurship Decoded (https://geni.us/SuperEntrepreneurship), which fastly became 1 Amazon Best Seller. This book is dedicated to help future inventors or game-changers willing to leave an impact to make the world a better place. For this, Testa analyzed the super-achievers' processes so as to reveal their secrets. elevate entrepreneurs and innovators to materialize their breakthrough potential and build the world we love!

Written by: Alex Bravo , Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. I'm on a mission of spreading mindfulness practice benefits for both, individuals and organizations. This article initiates the "Mindfulness at the workplace" saga. I will be sharing some of the benefits that the participants of "The 8 Week Mindfulness Program" ‒ which I facilitate ‒ have reported as well as my own experience leading CX, operations, innovation and transformation teams for +20 years. It’s not a secret that companies like Google, Mckinsey, Apple, EY, P&G, Nike, Goldman Sachs, Intel, Deutsche Bank, etc., are deploying Mindfulness programs across their organizations. For the benefit of the readers that are not really related to the Mindfulness practice, I would like to recall what the Mindfulness practice looks like and the discipline that it requires. Mindfulness is the practice of maintaining a nonjudgemental state of heightened or Complete awareness of our own thoughts, emotions, ideas, sensations or experiences on a moment-to-moment basis. Disciplined meditation is the path to Mindfulness. It requires to find a comfortable position ‒ normally sited ‒ and start focusing your attention on your breath, surrounding sounds or body sensations with great curiosity, without any judgement. At some point your mind will start wandering. This is completely normal. It is the way our mind works. The key is to note when this wandering is happening and to bring gently your attention back to the breath, surrounding sounds or body sensations with kindness and self-care. If you have to bring your attention back to 50 teams, that is ok. This does not determine whether you are a good or bad mediator. This is what the meditation practice is all about. There is plenty of scientific research that shows that practicing meditation for at least 15 minutes per day can have a great positive impact. Different surveys have reported that whenever a meditator explains why they meditate, these are the results: 84% say that it helps to reduce stress and anxiety 53% say improves concentration and memory 52% say improves performance at work or school 39% say it helps them to increase energy 30% say it helps to improve general health and wellness And they are right. It's fascinating what happens with the body of a meditator. Meditators report such benefits given that different things happen physiologically: Levels of dopamine and serotonin may increase stimulating regions of the brain associated with happiness and positivism. Cortisol and adrenalin may decrease generating a relaxation mode in which breath rhythm, blood pressure, pulse rate and metabolism decreases. DHEA may increase preventing premature aging, reducing inflammation and cellular metabolism. Alpha, Delta, and Theta brain waves synchronize enabling creativity, relaxation and concentration. It may increase the cortical folding process on the brain promoting an increase of speed processing information. In addition, Mindfulness helps us to shut down the auto-pilot mode in which we normally operate, overreacting, wandering, not being present, not enjoying small details. The way we deal with our inner world defines everything. Mindfulness helps us to deal with our inner world in a way in which we are in control of our emotions and not our emotions controlling us. This has a huge impact on the way we relate to ourselves, on the way we interact with others, on the way we lead a team, on the way we serve customers, on the way we love. One of the frequently asked questions that I receive is what mindfulness can bring to the workplace. Given the benefits that Mindfulness delivers to individuals, organizations can expect an increase on: Employee engagement Employee focus Collaboration among employees Productivity Communication Emotional intelligence Creativity Adaptability Problem-solving skills And a decrease on: Stress among employees Absenteeism Health care costs Conflict among employees Burnout During the next articles, I'll elaborate on the benefits that disciplined mediators have reported working on 7 competencies that Gallup has defined to be key for a successful leader. There is definitely a difference between the auto-pilot and the mindful mode whenever a leader is dealing with these 7 competencies: Build Relationships Develop People Lead Change Inspire Others Think Critically Communicate Clearly Create accountability Stay tuned to understand some of the benefits that Mindfulness brings to the workplace. Follow me on LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Alex! Alex Bravo, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Alex Bravo combines 22 years' experience as Sr Director leading CX, Innovation, Transformation and large Operations teams mainly within the Financial Services Industry with 15 years' experience as Sr Executive Coach and Mindfulness Teacher. Given his struggle with anxiety and depression at some point of his career, his purpose is to instill the importance of assessing mental health in the corporate arena and recall to his colleagues that the way they deal with their inner world defines the way they show to themselves, how they interact with others, how they lead and how they love. He is a Harvard Business School Grad and holds a BSc in industrial and Systems Engineering and a MSc in Quality and Productivity.

Written by: Dr. Beverly Wertheimer, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Ask yourself right now, when you’re feeling bad, is it because someone or something made you upset or because you made yourself upset? Most people will answer, ‘What? Of course, I didn’t make myself upset!’ But let’s look more closely. Take the case of Amber, my 52-year-old client, who was incensed that her husband grabbed a beer and a bar snack on the way home from work and wasn’t hungry for her special mushroom risotto dinner. Her first reaction was, “He makes me so angry!” She laid the blame for feeling upset squarely at her husband’s feet (and stomach). In fact, she was so angry that she forgot to ask why he stopped for a beer. She didn’t inquire whether he forgot their dinner plan, was thirsty, wasn’t in the mood for creamy rice, or had a last-minute meeting. Turns out it was the latter, but she had predetermined that it was his thoughtlessness and could only follow that script. The Wisdom to Know the Difference Back to the question: Was it my client’s husband who made her angry or did she make herself angry? In other words, is it a choice to be upsettable? At times, we certainly choose to let stuff go and be happy rather than be right, and we also choose to eventually stop being sad, mad, or frustrated. Yet, it does sound shocking and offensive to tell someone that they’re just choosing to be upset instead of acknowledging that someone or something made them upset. Surely, the jerk who cut you off in traffic or the gossipy coworker who spread a rumor about you caused your anger, right? But then how is one person able to shake off upset while another facing a comparable situation completely flips their wig? The frustratingly true answer is that while we can’t always choose our circumstances, we can choose our reactions. In fact, how we respond is really all we can choose. The rest is often beyond our control. We decide whether to be upsettable. As the often-quoted Serenity Prayer implores, “…grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference…” What Are You Thinking? Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), arguably the most popular and best studied form of therapy, rests on the tenet that our often negative and unrealistic thoughts determine our feelings, which in turn determine our subsequent behavior. This is not new. In fact, CBT was inspired by ancient philosophy from thousands of years ago. Beloved Roman Emperor and Stoic philosopher, Marcus Aurelius (121-180 AD) said, “You have power over your mind ‒ not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” Had my client behaved more like a Stoic emperor, she may have expressed curiosity at the news of her husband’s early repast and avoided a bitter quarrel that ended with him “slamming the door and peeling out of the driveway.” Reclaim Control A slight shift in her thinking from “He makes me so upset” to “I feel upset but can choose how to react” may have been enough to attenuate her anger. This shift also appropriately repositions control of our emotions; instead of someone else provoking us and pressing our buttons, we alone possess the trigger finger and decide whether to push it. Before we make assumptions, expect the worst, and begrudge someone the benefit of the doubt, we can bite our tongue, chew on our thoughts ‒ and then speak. Save Your Saliva This advice would have served me well in my own younger years. When I was an adolescent, my mother and I had skirmishes about the most trivial matters. My favorite French Uncle Felix (FFF) used to implore me, “Laisse tomber, Bev!” which essentially means, “Drop it.” He explained that anyone can waste “precious saliva” and argue over anything, but “À quel prix?” This was an excellent question that I didn’t deeply consider until years later. When my FFF queried “At what price?” he was protecting me from harm produced by my own inner inferno. He was also unknowingly saluting Shakespeare who warned, “Heat not a furnace for your foe so hot that it do singe yourself.” What the Bard and FFF knew was that anger is not good for us. Science shows that the first spark of anger activates the amygdala and sets off a chain reaction causing the adrenal glands to secrete stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. The negative effects of this are numerous. Elevated stress hormones kill neurons in the brain and disrupt the creation of new ones. Your short-term memory becomes weakened and your judgment impaired. Anger also stresses us out, and this manufactures a whole other host of problems such as increased heart rate, blood pressure, and blood glucose level. That’s something to get upset about. Love is Inside of You Most people agree that it’s empowering to manage their own emotions. Yet, we frequently consign that power to others. One very telling example occurs after a breakup. We often blame our former partner for breaking our hearts and destroying our happiness. The suffering of the lovelorn is legendary. Unrequited love is so profound that it can even change the shape of one’s heart and cause “takotsubo cardiomyopathy,” or broken heart syndrome ‒ named after a Japanese octopus trap whose shape the broken heart resembles. Don’t get me wrong; love requires being utterly vulnerable and deeply connected to another person—and breakups can be immensely painful. But here’s something important to remember: None of us depends wholly on someone else for our happiness. The person we love is not responsible for the profound feelings we possess. In other words, the object of our love means much less than the love itself that is inside of us. This capacity to love is part of who we are, and we carry this vessel of love with us, even after a breakup. We can choose to continue to love ourselves and others. Most People Mean Well We are mortal, of course we sometimes get upset; but we need not stay upset. One of my FFF’s most endearing qualities was his ability not only to “drop it” but to laugh it off. When someone would say something offensive or commit a small transgression, my FFF would throw his head back, squeeze his eyes shut, and produce a delightful, rich, gravelly laugh in the most good-natured way. He believed that most people don’t mean any harm. FFF suffered serious health problems, lost the love of his life to illness, and lost a fortune to a traitorous business partner; but he did his absolute best not to be upsettable, and he taught me the same. Client identity and circumstances have been adapted to protect confidentiality. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Dr. Wertheimer! Dr. Beverly Wertheimer, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine As a former TV journalist working at ABC and NBC stations, CNN Turner Entertainment, and Entertainment Tonight, Beverly Wertheimer thrives on creating warm and immediate connections with others. In her current roles as CEO of BeWorthy life coaching, assoc. child and adolescent psychotherapist, and adjunct professor of psychology at Pepperdine University, Dr. Wertheimer is devoted to uplifting others and helping them solve even the most vexing problems. Her mission: Help people get whatever they want out of life...and then enjoy it!