Dr. Mykim Tran is an expert in humanistic psychology. She is a keynote speaker, educator, life coach, author, and scientist. She is on a mission to help individuals create a powerful legacy that will carry on for eternity. In the process, individuals will transform into the best version of themselves and reach their full potential. Dr. Tran is the founder and CEO of Wake-Up Foundation, a non-profit agency, transforming individuals into social change agents to promote stronger communities. She received her bachelor's degree in Media Communications from the California State University of Sacramento, her master's degree in Psychology at Walden University, and her Ph.D. in Humanistic Psychology at Saybrook University. Dr. Mykim Tran, Humanistic Psychologist Can you tell us about your career journey and how it led you to help individuals in humanistic psychology? I started my career as a speaker in 2010. My goal is to help teenagers and youth adults feel good about themselves. I use my education and experience to share about body image, health and wellness, and self-confidence with them. I encourage them that as long as they take care of themselves, body and mind, they will feel good about themselves. However, when I went into my master's program in Health Psychology, I discovered that my strengths are more aligned with mental health, self-esteem specifically. I believe that when individuals have mental health, they will have the self-esteem to overcome and achieve anything. In 2014, I self-published my first book, Self-Esteem Building: How to Live Your Life as You. As I continued my educational journey into my PhD program, I realized my passion for personal development and human potential, which is the essence of humanistic psychology. I uncovered that when individuals learn and develop, they will unleash their passion and life purpose, which they can use to help them reach their full potential. Your mission statement is: Help individuals create a powerful legacy that will carry on for eternity, how did you come about that mission? Since humanistic psychology's primary goal is to help individuals become the best version of themselves, having a powerful legacy is the best motivation to achieve that goal. I believe that everyone has something unique and powerful within them that will help them become great, which can become their legacy. Building a legacy helps individuals develop a sense of belonging in the world. Belonging is one component of the hierarchy of human needs. That sense of belonging will allow them to contribute to the world positively; they feel like they matter and have something valuable to offer. They can better connect with others at multiple levels, such as within themselves, others, their community, society, and the world. That sense of feeling within them will push them to learn and develop to become better individuals, not only for themselves but for everyone and everything. Furthermore, since a legacy should never die, their work will be carried on forever after they leave earth. Individuals who believe in their legacy will be motivated to do as much good as possible while alive to leave behind something good for others. I believe that is a humanistic individual. You created the model The Life Purpose Pyramid to guide your work, can you share with us a little about that? I developed The Life Purpose Pyramid model to help individuals create meaning and purpose. The pyramid has seven levels, and it starts at the bottom and goes up. At the bottom, it begins with you, the individual. Since creating meaning and purpose is about using your strengths and talents to serve, the first person you should help is yourself. Therefore, you want to use your strengths and talents to improve as much as possible. Once you have mastered using your strengths and talents to help yourself, you can move up the pyramid to help others, such as your family, friends, and neighbors. Once you master the second level, you can move up to help more individuals, such as within a community or zip code. And then, you continue to move up the pyramid to serve at the county, state, federal level, and last the country, which is the world. As individuals move up the life purpose pyramid, they will create and experience more meaning and purpose because they can use their strengths and talents to help more people. It is like when individuals move up on the Hierarchy of Needs Pyramid. The higher individuals are on the pyramid, the more motivation they will have to reach their full potential. Why did you create the Life Success Formula model? I created the Life Success Formula model to help my clients develop a solid foundation to stay focused to achieve their goals, dreams, and full potential. The formula consists of 4 components: 1) The science, 2) The art, 3) the motivation, and 4) the mindset. The science is about ensuring individuals have the right knowledge before achieving anything. No matter how much individuals apply the wrong knowledge, they will not get the result they want. Therefore, I guide individuals in learning and becoming successful lifelong learners to acquire the right knowledge. The art is about creativity. Individuals must learn how to apply their knowledge creatively that fit who they are, their goals and dreams, and their lifestyle. Knowledge can be used in unlimited ways. Since each of us has a different lifestyle, it is crucial for individuals to apply their knowledge successfully in their lives. Therefore, I guide individuals to develop their creativity and inner strength to believe they can succeed in their own ways. The motivation is the reason why individuals want to achieve their goals. Their motivation will be their backbone to help them pick themselves back up after setbacks or give them the extra push to move forward. I educate individuals on the different human motivations, and which best aligns with human potential. The mindset is about your beliefs, attitudes, and way of thinking. If individuals want to become successful, they must develop certain traits and ways of thinking to stay focused. Therefore, I educate individuals on the different mindsets they must develop to succeed. How do you help your clients? My clients come to me because they often feel lost and want to create more meaning and purpose. They want something that gets them excited and motivated to push them out of bed daily so they can start the day successfully. Others also come to me because they need an extra boost of motivation and encouragement that their goals and dreams are still possible. Another common reason my clients come to me is to get help in developing a balanced lifestyle and stress management. They often expressed that they have difficulty moving forward with their goals and dreams because their daily activities are causing them to stress out, which decreases their productivity. What do you enjoy most about working with your clients? The number one thing I enjoy working with my clients is helping them discover their passions. I have witnessed so many individuals with unique passions that I have never thought existed and what they can do with them. Seeing that reinforces the humanistic belief that everyone has something incredible to share with the world. Who inspires you in life? Two industries inspire me. First, it is the motivational speaking and training industry. I always get inspired by the motivational speakers and trainers I see on television, the internet, and in books I read. I admire them for their positive messages and how they are making a positive impact in the world. Their messages help me develop a positive outlook to stay balanced and focused on achieving my goals and dreams. Whenever I need motivation and inspiration, I seek them through videos, books, workshops, trainings, and seminars. They have installed the belief in me that anything is possible. The second industry that inspires me is higher education. Seeking the right education has helped me to discover my strengths, talents, and passions. There are so many subjects that I never thought existed until I pursued higher education. There is a common phrase, “You do not know what you don’t know.” This means, you will never know something until someone teaches it to you. Higher education has exposed and taught me so many things about the world, and one of these areas is humanistic psychology. I also get inspired by the educational leaders who are making a pathway to help others understand the importance of education because after all, knowledge is power. I believe that with the right education, anything is possible. What advice would you give to others who want to start or continue their humanistic journey to reach their full potential? The two things I have learned from people I admired at an early age are personal development and passion. They have taught me that if you can stay focused on your personal growth and passion, you can develop a successful lifestyle. Because I never lose sight of my personal development and passion journeys, it has helped me become who I am today, and they have allowed me to do what I love. Therefore, I would pass it forward and encourage others to do the same. Personal development will help you become so strong that you can overcome anything. With passion, you will never lose motivation to keep on moving forward to do and achieve great things. What are your current projects? I am currently working on two projects. First, I am finishing up my second book, titled Life Success Formula, which is one of the models I created to guide my work and to help others. I will share my 12 years of education and experience to help individuals master the four components to help them reach their full potential. My second project is to continue conducting studies to develop a personal development course to be incorporated into the educational system, which is mandatory for students before graduating. Today, students are not equipped with the knowledge and skills to become successful in the future. School is missing humanistic elements to help students succeed. I am very excited about this project. Finally, can you tell us a little about Wake-Up Foundation? Wake-Up Foundation is a nonprofit organization I developed in 2013 to support high-risk youths to become successful in life. The agency provides personal development programs and services to help youths identify their strengths and talents, to help them apply them successfully, and positively impact their lives, their communities, our society, and the world. Wake-Up Foundation provides career and goal development, self-esteem and self-confidence building, stress management, and building good health. The Wake-Up Foundation programs and services are unique and transformative because they provide a holistic approach to promoting strong individuals and healthy communities through education, intervention, and prevention. Click here to learn more about Wake-Up Foundation. Follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Dr. Mykim!

Written by: Vince Morales, Senior Level Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. If you’re like most people, you’re extremely busy. You’ve got projects to work on, things to do around the house, people to spend time with, administrative tasks like paying bills, and a thousand emails to answer. You’re so busy that you feel like you don’t have enough time to do the things that really matter to you. To focus on your dreams. To really achieve your goals. You feel like you’re running in a thousand different directions without really making much progress on anything. Put simply, you feel like there isn’t enough time in the day and week to do what really matters. You think to yourself, “If only I had more time, then I could do things I really wanted. If I had more hours in the day, I could get more things done.” And when you look around, you see that all your friends and coworkers are really busy as well. So, you simply accept extreme busyness as the norm. Your limiting belief is that there isn’t enough time in the day to get things done. But does this have to be the norm? It doesn’t. Rewriting The Limiting Belief Let’s transform the limiting belief that there isn’t enough time into an empowering belief. Limiting Belief: “I don’t have enough time.” Empowering Beliefs: “I have time for my most important tasks.” “My schedule gives me freedom from time pressure.” “I refuse to let time rule my life.” “I get things done without worrying about time.” “I am productive and make the best out of the time I have been given.” The best way to make these newfound empowering beliefs work for you is to work on the thing that matters to you most FIRST thing in the day. By making quick progress on the tasks that matter most, you’ll feel more productive. You’ll slash the limiting belief. This principle is often called “Slaying your dragons.” In other words, you “slay” your most important task, your “dragon,” first thing in the morning. Before you get started on the thousand other tasks that vie for your attention, give your full focus to the one thing that matters the most to you. To the thing that will move your forward the most. By doing your most important thing first, you rewrite your limiting belief that there is not enough time in the day to work on what matters. Your new belief becomes: “There is plenty of time to do what matters because I work on what matters first.” Action Steps Write down all the tasks you need to perform in a given day. Organize those tasks by importance. Determine your most important task for the day. Give all your attention to working on that task until it’s done. Repeat this process each day. “The best way to make these newfound empowering beliefs work for you is to work on the thing that matters to you most FIRST thing in the day.” – Vince Morales Affirmation There is more than enough time in each day for me to accomplish the tasks that matter most. I am dedicated to and focused on getting the most important things done each day. I refuse to be easily distracted. Rather, I slay my dragons first thing each morning. I do less important things later, after I finish the task that matters most. I am passionate about getting things done that are important to me. Looking Forward In the next lesson, you’ll learn that you’re never too old to start a new project or begin working toward a new goal. Yes, you can teach an old dog new tricks, and the next lesson shows you how. For more info, follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, and visit my website! Read more from Vince! Vince Morales, Senior Level Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Vince Morales is a mindset, self-image, and resilience coach. In addition, he is skilled in leadership consultation and development. From April 2016 to June 2017, Vince was a homeless veteran in San Diego, CA. While homeless, he made a powerful decision to change his thinking and mindset, launching into life coaching. He developed a niche for resilience and mindset coaching. The growth of his business ultimately led to the end of his homelessness. Vince is the Founder of Validus Coaching & Consulting, formerly Zoe Transformation. His story has been featured in online articles and online news outlets all over the U.S. He is a certified John Maxwell Team Coach, Trainer, & Speaker, as well as a motivational speaker. In 2021, Vince earned his Master's degree in Psychology of Leadership from Penn State University and is currently a doctoral student pursuing a Ph.D. in Performance Psychology. He is a 2020 inductee into The National Society of Leadership and Success.

Written by: Marc de Bruin, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. In the previous part of this 2-part article, which you can find here, I wrote about Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). ACT is a very practical, here-and-now-focused counselling modality. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy looks at how we think, feel and behave our way through the various contexts of our lives: our work; our relationships; our health; our personal and spiritual development, etc. I also discussed that ACT suggests that there are six “core yearnings” (core drivers) in each and every one of us that influence our thoughts, moods and behaviours. When are core yearnings are being met, we tend to have “good” thoughts and feelings; when our core yearnings are being challenged, we tend to think ineffectively and feel “bad”. Both of these “thinking and feeling good or bad” states strongly affect our behaviour. When we feel good, we want to feel EVEN better and hold on to that good feeling, so we behave in ways that could get us to those feelings. We DO NOT want to feel bad, and therefore we take action to get rid of or avoid that feeling. In the case of our core yearnings, when they are not being met, we feel quite unsettled and discontented. I covered the first three yearnings in the previous article. Here I’d like to continue by discussing the last three. Yearning for Feeling Whether you like it or not, we are feeling beings who think. We’re not thinking beings who feel. One of my favourite neuroscientists, Jill Bolte-Taylor, came up with this statement. The desire to “feel”, to be in contact with our experiences, creates a problem, as we also want to be and feel safe. If we “fully feel”, we may very well NOT “feel safe”, especially when we are in situations that seem to threaten us (financial, employment, relationships, housing, disasters, etc.). As a protective measure, we then try as hard as we can to feel “less”, and to feel “less often”. On the other hand, we DO want to feel more “good stuff”, but that is not always possible. This way, we get caught in our own experiences with wanting to feel AND wanting not to feel at the same time. Ultimately, we then often settle for trying to feel nothing at all, to numb ourselves, which is totally against our natural desire and -in a cruel twist of fate actually “feels” problematic. And so the cycle continues. Yearning for Self-Directed Meaning Inside all of us exists a desire and drive for freedom. We want to set the direction of our lives, be in control of our actions, and want to be the ones who decide what is happening next. When we feel we are not in control of what we can do next (e.g., lockdowns and travel restrictions in times of COVID; lay-offs in tough economic times), or cannot make choices for ourselves (e.g., government restrictions or laws & rules we don’t agree with), we start to experience pressure and stress. We all know this feeling of being “stuck”, with few or no options to make decisions for ourselves. It does not feel good. Yearning for Competence Each and every one of us want to be good at “something”; to be competent. A drive to be successful at life, or at as many facets of life as possible, expresses itself from a very early age. The praise we get and the satisfaction we feel when we succeed nurture us on a deep level. As I heard say a long time ago: “babies cry for it; grown men die for it”. If success isn’t possible, or if we stuff up, we generally find it hard to admit (and feel) failure. We would rather try harder, and harder still. If we still don’t succeed to our liking, we then often freeze up, and give up. Even simple steps become seemingly impossible to take because we now fear failing so much, that we think it’s better not to try at all. This doesn’t align with the yearning for self-directed meaning and orientation. This does not feel good at all, so we then get caught in not wanting to feel. A tough spot to be in. So, there you have them -with the three from previous month; the six core yearnings ACT identifies. Why is this important information? Well, see it this way: if we find ourselves in one of life’s tough spots where we’re not feeling great and struggling with ourselves or with “life in general” a bit, it could be helpful to think about which of the core yearnings have been affected by that situation. There is no need to blame, point fingers or run away from feelings. Merely investigate where in life we think we have lost touch with our core “drive(r)s”! Once we have a good idea of what is going on, we can then, in that particular area, start bringing back what we think we have lost. That might sound easier than it seems to be, but you would be surprised; to commit to a little bit more of what seems to be missing goes a long way in helping us live a more fulfilling, rich and meaningful life! Start this process off yourself, and link in with me if you think that is useful. If life is going well: nice. You probably have all -or at least the majority of the core yearnings covered in some way. Keep up the good work. If life is not going the way you like: do some research, check out what has happened, and which yearnings seem to have been affected. We can work together on restoring the balance. Remember that, according to ACT, it is ok not to be ok. Yet, it is also ok, even when you are not feeling great, to keep working towards a more effective way, and to aim for a rich and meaningful life. The seeming opposites can co-exist, and the results of your efforts can be life-changing. Follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Marc! Marc de Bruin, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Marc is a Registered International Counsellor, Supervisor and Educator "with a twist". If you're looking for a run-of-the-mill mental health professional, feel free to contact one of his very capable colleagues. Marc looks at life through a different lens, with a transpersonal, even "spiritual" filter. Expect to discuss your life from a bigger perspective, while still being very practical (Marc is an ex-litigation lawyer, too, so very solution-focused); and expect to work from the inside out: YOU will change before your circumstances will. In order for things to change, you'll be the one to change some things. If that sounds like something you are up for, Marc is ready for you.

Written by: Karen Cruise , Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. At every age, there are lots of reasons why children worry. For example, a young infant may worry about separation; a primary scho ol child may fear the dark or worry about what’s under the bed; teenagers may worry about social situations and exams. It is normal for children to worry, and as parents, carers or teachers, it’s our role to help children manage their worries and help them build resilience rather than take their fears away. So, if you’re looking for tools, games and activities to help your child when they’re worrying, here are some of the best exercises for different ages to help them take control of their feelings. 1. The Worry Box For children who are always thinking about the next thing to worry about, a worry box can help a child to stay in the present moment. As soon as they start worrying about something that isn’t happening right now, they can write their worry down and place it in the box. A worry box can help to create breathing space. When the child returns to the box, the worry may not be relevant anymore. Also, they can approach the box when they feel calm, positive and ready to problem solve rather than from heightened emotion. 2. The Courtroom For older children, a courtroom practice can be a fun way to challenge any worries they have. It’s about looking for different perspectives on a situation and how they can think differently about their anxiety. For example, if the worry is that they won’t make friends, how would they argue against themselves in a courtroom? Do they have evidence that they’re a kind person and they’ve made friends before, for example? On the other side of the courtroom, what evidence do they have, and which side is most likely to win? 3. Create A Visualisation Script Mindfulness is a growing practice for kids and teens. A great activity with children is creating a calming visualisation script to help calm any worries and increase relaxation. A visualisation script will be something to use time and time again to take them back to a calming, happy place. They may even want to record an audio or make a video of the visualisation to use in the future. For example, a calming visualisation could be imagining walking on a sandy beach with the water lapping at your toes or curling up in a cosy blanket with a favourite book. So when they want to feel calm, what do they want to see in their mind? 4. Make Reminder Stones Using oven-bake clay, kids can paint and create reminder stones they can hold or keep in their pockets whenever worries arise. They may wish to make a few different stones with different reminders. Perhaps a reminder to breathe, or that symbolises a mantra such as ‘I can do hard things’ or ‘I am brave’. 5. Use A Daily Journal A journal where they can vent, write their feelings or use stickers to sum up their day and mood can be a great way to help young people express themselves and be an outlet to process their worries. This is fantastic for creative kids or can be simple bullet points for those who like quick summaries. Suppose your child needs more support in managing their worries and concerns. In that case, coaching can be a great support tool for helping children and young adults understand and vocalise their worries and creating strategies to manage and alleviate them. If you would like more help to support your child with their worries, please contact us here. Follow me on Facebook , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Karen! Karen Cruise, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Karen Cruise is an expert in life coaching for children and young people. She was written off at school and left with no qualifications. Despite this, she had a successful corporate career as a senior leader, passed her GCSE's aged 52, achieved a university degree and is the founder and CEO of a successful, award-winning social enterprise, Flourished Minds. Her company focuses on supporting young people to excel; improving their confidence, self-esteem and self-belief and helping them to realise their fullest potential. Her mission: To help every child to tap into their wonderful uniqueness.

Written by: Veronica Sanchez De Darivas, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. The word gratitude comes from the Latin “gratus” and it means pleasing, welcome, agreeable. Gratitude describes a feeling of appreciation that comes in response to receiving love, kindness and joy. Gratitude is a fundamental ingredient to happiness and science has discovered that expressing gratitude has a number of benefits for mental and physical health. Normally, we see gratitude as the act of saying thank you to others when they give us something, in this sense being grateful is associated with our outer self. However, gratitude is not only a one way act, on the contrary, it is circular, a whole way of feeling as the benefits of being grateful, expressing it and receiving back from others go both ways, to the person who is expressing gratitude and to the person who is receiving it. And it is here where our inner self comes into play. Let’s see here how gratitude is a high-vibration feeling, a whole, a unity. We already know that gratitude is a feeling of appreciation for the blessings of our lives and it can be directed towards other people, towards life in general or towards our own self. But, how? Gratitude and Happiness Studies have shown that gratitude can make us happier beacuse it allows us to focus on the good things in our lives and to be more positive. When we make the conscious effort of feeling thankful for the gains in our lives, we are able to realise how fortunate we are and the feelings of happiness, love and positivity take over. Gratitude and happiness are linked because positive emotions arise when feeling grateful. When we feel gratitude, we experience joy, inspiration, admiration and a myriad of beneficial emotions. Now, feeling grateful for only the positive things in our lives is our tendency, however, I encourage you to be thankful for those events that are not so good as well, beacuse you have learned from them, you have created resilience from them, you have learned to love yourself and others from them. Science says that gratitude can help with coping with hard and negative situations beacuse we are able to see beyond them and move on. In my own experience, feeling grateful has increased my levels of happiness and joy significantly beacuse it has given me perspective, I have been able to appreciate more and self-pity less. Gratitude and Wellbeing Gratitude has been connected with healthy blood pressure, with enhancing the immune system, and with improving the quality of sleep. People who are thankful have a tendency of taking care of their physical body and health over all much more than others. Two well known psychologists, Dr. Robert A. Emmons of the University of California, Davis, and Dr. Michael E. McCullough of the University of Miami, have conducted extensive research on gratitude. In one study, they asked several groups of people to write a few sentences every week about different topics, one of the groups focused on writing about the events or situations they were grateful for that week. After 10 weeks this particular group reported not only to be more optimistic and happier, but they also exercised more and had fewer visits to doctors or physicians than the other groups. Gratitude has also been linked to better mental health, diminishing depression and anxiety. The Virginia Commonwealth University conducted a large study which showed that being grateful pointed to a lower risk of depression, anxiety disorder, phobias and even alcohol and drug abuse. Overall, gratitude assists in shifting our attention from negativity to positivity, which unleashes in us all the benefits of being thankful. Gratitude, in short, changes the brain. Gratitude has given me better mental health for sure and my resilience levels have increased with my daily practice. Gratitude and Relationships Gratitude strengthens our relationships, because we are able to put things into perspective, we can see the positive in people and enhance our capacity for forgiveness, including self-forgiveness, which is key here. With this panoramic view we are able to build stronger love relationships and friendships, because we can make better decisions of what is good for us and for the people around us. Gratitude really helps us to see beyond judgment and preconceptions. Gratitude allows us to get new friends, because being thankful makes us to be compassionate, offer support to others and be more generous, then, in this sense others can feel this energy in us and appreciate us for these qualities. In my experience, gratitude has made me less judgmental, more inclusive and has added a whole new dimension to my compassionate heart. Gratitude and Work Expressing gratitude makes the way for us to be successful in our work. Given that being thankful helps us to cultivate stronger relationships, it is not surprising then that gratitude can lead us to be productive and make better decisions not only in the workplace but about career direction as well. When we express gratitude, we show others that we see them and we value our relationship with them. Being grateful encourages reciprocation which creates a strong social environment. A study in the Journal of Experimental Psychology, found that people who are part of a team and whom thanked their coworkers before performing a high-stress task had less stress in the job, compared to teams who did not express gratitude. Gratitude helps to achieve goals in the workplace quicker, with less stress and better performance. Several companies are starting to realise this and are implementing programs on team building and gratitude because grateful people bond better and are much more productive. I really wish I could have known this information way before, when I was working in schools as a teacher, although I have always been grateful and say thank you to others, I think now that my relationship with other fellow teachers would have been much closer. Gratitude and the Heart The HeartMath Institute has studied the benefits of feeling appreciation or gratitude extensively and profoundly. As a HeartMath Certified Coach myself, I can say that this institute is my go-to source when talking about the science of the heart and emotions. HeartMath’s research shows that when we experience heartfelt emotions such as appreciation or gratitude, love and compassion, the heart produces a smooth heart rhythm and this harmonious rhythm is known as Heart Coherence. According to the scientists of HeartMath, coherence enhances cardiovascular efficiency and balances the nervous system. The key here is to really feel gratitude in your heart, embrace the state of being thankful, and enjoy it. This feeling will immediately smooth the beating of your heart and release the benefits I have described in this article. Gratitude Practice There are different ways to incorporate gratitude to your daily routine, I will show you three. Take a few minutes every night for yourself, close your eyes, place your hands in your chest area and feel thankful for the experiences lived during the day. Keep a Gratitude Journal. Journaling has been proven highly beneficial for our wellbeing. Write down the things you are grateful for, don’t forget to connect with your heart when writing. Get into the habit of saying thank you not only to others, but to the universe, god, spirit, the One, whatever the name of your choice for the energy that links us all. A grateful conclusion As we can see, gratitude encompasses everything we do, every part of our days, everything we are. Gratitude has an effect in our happiness, wellbeing, relationships, work, heart, love life and much more. Gratitude is filling the empty spaces of us, is appreciating life, is inspiration. I invite you to embody being grateful into your daily habits, it will bring fabulous and unexpected blessings to your life. Gratitude is energy in loving action. Thank you for reading! Note: you are invited to check out this Gratitude Journal and get your copy here. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Veronica! Veronica Sanchez De Darivas, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Veronica Sanchez De Darivas shares tools on how to manage stress, negative emotions and build resilience and on how to use high vibration words. Veronica is a Spanish grammar and literature teacher. During the last twelve years, she has dedicated herself to spirituality and is a Certified Instructor for the Cyclopea Method of Internal Activation of the Pineal Gland, a method created in South America 33 years ago by the spiritual leader Fresia Castro. Veronica is the first instructor in the world teaching this life changing method in English. Veronica is a Spiritual Life Coach and a HeartMath Certified Coach as well. Veronica is also an author. She has been writing for many years for online magazines and blogs in Spanish and English. Veronica is both a Chilean and an Australian citizen now living in the UK. Her mission is the expansion of consciousness.

Neptali Martinez is the Founder and Principal at NJM Career/Leadership Coaching, which provides career and executive coaching for professionals in middle and upper management levels, business owners, and entrepreneurs in diverse areas such as Information Technology, Human Resources, Supply Chain Management, and other business organizations. As an author, Neptali has published more than a dozen articles in a trade magazine, and has published his first book, CoachAbility: Are You in a State or Condition to be Coached? Neptali J. Martinez, Leadership/Career/Executive Coach Tell us a little bit about yourself and your current activities. My background includes managing IT teams, directing an HR department, teaching graduate and undergraduate courses, and running my Leadership/Career business. The combined knowledge and experience from these areas forms the base for my ongoing coaching services. Although for about 10 years I’ve been writing and publishing articles for a trade magazine, writing and publishing my book, CoachAbility: Are you in a state or condition to be coached? is my latest project. For the latter, I’ve had to learn about self-publishing, public relations, blogs, being interviewed, and in general amping up my social media savviness and activity. What prompted you to write your book? While I’ve been able to help numerous clients to deal with their career and job dilemmas, I also realized that there were other professionals in similar situations who, for whatever reason, were not availing themselves of any help to overcome their own career problems. They keep on struggling with their daily work routines as they feel disappointed, disconnected, or simply burned out. What do you think stops these individuals from taking any action? I believe fear is involved. Fear of appearing weak if they ask for help. Fear of losing respect. Fear of not knowing whom to turn to or whom to trust. So, in the book I present coaching scenarios that can serve as examples, as a guideline, as a lifeline, to those professionals that are still dealing with their challenges at work. What would be a message that you expect readers of the book to take away? The message I’m trying to convey in the book is that anybody can overcome the typical challenges we all face at the office from time to time. All my coaching clients have been able to find within themselves “hidden” abilities, talents, and traits, which, once identified, became the catalyst that energized their new efforts, new careers, new directions at work. What is a key element that a client needs to have for coaching to be helpful? Recently I read a LinkedIn post by Greg S. Reid, where he says: “A dream written down with a date becomes a goal.” “A goal broken into steps becomes a plan.” “A plan backed by action – makes that dream come true.” Typically, and for practical purposes, we work with a client to formulate a goal. But many times, we start without a goal. Many times, the goal emerges during the coaching sessions. However, goal or not goal, the client always wants something different than what they currently have. They always have an objective in mind, even if they have not verbalized it yet. We can say that what they have is a “dream.” Therefore, if the client really wants to change, the dream, the goal, and the plan eventually emerge to give the client the new direction they are looking for. What is a typical issue that most clients deal with? In a nutshell, risk aversion. It could show a lack of self-esteem, imposter syndrome, or thinking that they need to be 100% in control of things before moving forward. They typically overcome this challenge once I ask them to write 4 to 6 success stories from their past. Having to think, formulate, and write several of their own “success” stories, has a transforming effect on my clients. They become more self-assured. They see a side of them that perhaps was not apparent or substantiated until they write these success stories. So, they end up “building” on their past successes as they create their new and improved version of themselves. What is a message that you, as a coach would like to share with the public? I think that it is difficult for us to ask for help. We are surrounded by cultural norms that tell us to be brave, to stand on our own two feet, to show grit, not to give up. And asking for help still has a notion that goes against those norms. So, my message is: let’s change that! Let’s start showing how brave we are by acknowledging our shortcomings! Let’s start demonstrating our grit by asking for help! Let’s stand on our own two feet and ask for guidance. Let’s show that we are not giving up but are giving in to our growth, advance, and success! Follow me on LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Neptali!

Written by: Mei Flynn, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. I love the power of our thinking and I mentioned in a previous article that positive affirmations are great if they work, but is it really that easy to positively think our way through life? I do not think so as we often get frustrated and impatient when positive affirmations do not work and we end up stopping them altogether. We also expect miracles overnight and start to feel sceptical about the power of positive thinking and drift back to our old negative mindset. Thoughts become things. If you see it in your mind, you will hold it in your hand – Bob Proctor Positive affirmations need to be used over time as this is often a new way of thinking focusing on what we want rather than what we do not want. We also have to trust the timing of when and how things manifest, we often think we know what is best for us but do we? We need to remember that there is a Higher Power soaring above us like an eagle that can see the big picture, but humanly we want to try and push forward in life. I think there is a lesson here in patience and embracing the unknown, then we can be open to new possibilities and doors start opening for us in ways we never imagined was possible. Ordering from the cosmic chef I remember a book shared by Dr. Patricia Crane when I trained as a workshop leader following the philosophy of Louise Hay. She compared the cosmic chef preparing our affirmations similar to going to a restaurant. When we go to a restaurant we go through the menu and decide what we would like to eat. When it comes to affirmations, we do the same and look at the areas we would like to work on, e.g., finances, relationships, career, etc. Then we place our order with the waiter in the restaurant or cosmic chef when doing our affirmations. Then we sit and relax in the restaurant and maybe enjoy a drink and wait for the chef to prepare our food. We do not keep going into the kitchen to check how they are preparing the food, we trust that everything will be prepared in the right way and delivered at the right time. This is also the invitation with affirmations to trust Divine timing. How can positive affirmations help us? When positive affirmations do not work and we get frustrated it is just a warning signal that maybe we do not believe that what we desire is possible. There is often a part of us that does not believe the affirmation, so as a result it will probably block it from manifesting in our lives. This is why we need to be aware of our inner voice when we say our affirmations. Let me explain it in a simple way. Imagine in your garden you are planting seeds (affirmations) but if there are too many weeds (limiting beliefs) there will be no space for the plants to grow. The weeds have often been there for a long time from the time we were born buried deep in our subconscious mind. This can be an interesting process of planting the seeds and also working towards plucking the weeds at the same time, only then we can start to see positive changes in our lives. How do I know what is blocking positive affirmations? Tips to get started In my previous article, I talked about positive affirmation, so we need to create a few sentences and remember they need to be positive, personal and present tense Practice the affirmations for a few days and make a note of the resistance, i.e., the part of us that does not believe it. For example, our affirmation is, ‘I love and accept myself exactly as I am’ and our inner voice is saying ‘You’re overweight and life is always a struggle’ Next step is to adjust the affirmation to overcome the resistance and we do this by creating a bridge from where we are to where we want to be e.g., ‘I take steps to cultivate self-love more and more each day,’ or ‘I am willing to love and accept myself exactly as I am,’ This helps to break it down into smaller steps to help us get to where we want to be otherwise the leap is too big. The willingness to take positive steps will give the Universe a sign that we are ready for positive changes in our lives. It is also important to let go of expectations of how we think things ‘should be.’ Be open to the unlimited possibilities in life!! Affirmations can be done for different areas of your life, and it is a process that takes time to adjust them so they feel right. It goes a lot deeper than just being a bunch of words and we need to experience that ‘inner click’ and feel that they are right for us. Once we get the right feeling behind the affirmations, we can then use them daily to set the law of attraction into motion and to see positive changes in our lives. My goal with this article was to share how positive thinking alone does not always work and we need to gain awareness of the negative self-talk, otherwise, we could be blocking things from manifesting in our lives. I would love to hear how you get on and please feel free to reach out to me and share your experiences or frustrations. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Mei! Mei Flynn, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Mei Flynn is a Holistic Confidence Coach who inspires and empowers women 40+ to tap into their inner confidence to live the life they really want. She's suffered from low self-esteem most of her life and using a range of different psycho-spiritual techniques she has transformed her life and is now passionate about helping clients to do the same. The key is to help others to let go of limiting beliefs and blocks that's stopping them from living a happy and fulfilled life. Her mission is to help women thrive and not just survive.

Courageous, woman leader, Latina… are some adjectives we can use to describe Patricia Arboleda; however, this hardly defines her. Patricia Arboleda is an executive coach with vast experience in Corporate America. For many years, she learned to deal with the stigma of being an immigrant woman in a “men's world”, advance professionally and achieve success, at least what success means to the rest of the world. The truth is that one day she realized that, despite the countless accomplishments she had achieved, she did not feel fulfilled… something was missing. From there, she began a journey of self-recognition that led her to find her purpose and build a successful life according to her own standards. Want to know more about Patricia? Enjoy this interview we did with her. Patricia Arboleda, CEO ‒ Executive & Leadership Coach Tell us about a pivotal moment in your life that brought you to where you are today. When I was working as a senior leader in a Fortune 500 company, everything looked great on the outside. I had a high position that everyone would think was perfect. But it was nearly killing me. I was working 60-70 hours a week, traveling all over the world with little or no time for self-care, feeling guilty about not spending enough time with my son, and having important health issues because of it. I was feeling stuck, unfulfilled, and sad, knowing that I was missing out on my life; that I was meant for more, but not knowing what that “more” was or how to even get it. I was working myself to the bone expecting my manager to offer me the next big promotion, thinking that the next VP role was going to fill the emptiness I was feeling inside. It was a confusing moment for me because I thought that by changing jobs I would solve my problems and give me a better sense of balance. But at the same time, I was afraid of change ‒ I had a great salary and didn't want to put that at risk. In the end, I changed jobs within the same company but soon realized that the problem wasn't the job, it was me. So, I started a journey of self-discovery. I wanted to figure out why high-achieving women end up burning out and feeling unfulfilled. After conducting plenty of research, training, and work with coaches, I finally found the answer. It turns out that in male-dominated industries, women are working twice as hard to prove themselves and trying to be flawless while doing so. They end up burning out and feeling that no matter how much success they have, their professional life lacks meaning. Perfectionism is killing us, it’s making us get stuck and unfulfilled. Once I found the root cause of why diverse leaders are not moving up the executive ladder, I made it my mission to address the issue and provide solutions to drive change from within. What is your business name and how do you help your clients? My business is called Arboleda Coaching. It focuses on helping women define success on their terms, take their careers to the next level, and build the courage and habits to create the future they want. I have designed keynote speeches, presentations, round table discussions and workshops to inspire them to see their dreams to fruition through individualized plans that work. These plans and person-to-person coaching sessions leave them with actionable insights and strategies to put into action. Along the way, I also developed Women’s Leadership Programs to help large-scale organizations close the gender gap in leadership roles and provide more opportunities for women in the workplace. My goal is to create real transformation and I see it happening! Companies that have implemented my programs have reported that more than 70% of the participants have taken promotions to new roles, promotions in place, and/or pay raises. Organizations have built a pipeline of diverse leaders, increased engagement, and developed and nurtured key talents. Little by little, we will close the gender gap in senior roles. What kind of audience do you target your business towards? Arboleda Coaching focuses on women in Corporate America, from senior executives and mid-level managers to rising stars. Women that wish to advance in their careers and get promotions, change jobs, look for work-life balance, or shift the course of their professional life and become entrepreneurs ‒ these are the audiences I seek to help every day. And I focus on them because I believe diversity and representation should be encouraged in the corporate world. These types of mentoring are keys to making connections between women employees and organizations because they allow them to see and learn what it takes to get to those senior leadership positions. That's why the women who work with me find that connection because they see that whoever is training them is a person like them. These women see my experience as a Latina who rose through the ranks of corporate America and confirm that it is possible, that they can make it too. What would you like to achieve for yourself and your business in the future? I want to make an impact on others and in the corporate industry as a whole. Female leaders struggle to find a balance between their profession, their private life, their values, and their passions because of the lack of opportunities or resources available to them. I realized that during all those years in corporate, what I was most passionate about was having the ability to transform and help others grow personally and professionally, and that's what I'm working toward. Today, I see how the professional development model is changing, moving away from a purely hard-skills-based approach. I like to feel that I am contributing to a change in perspective, and that I am doing so by encouraging the combination of traditional training with coaching and accountability. The human factor is becoming more valuable. I want more and more companies to see this as a growth opportunity for everyone; because what will make talent and a company thrive, is the existence of a mentor and a system in place that challenges employees to learn and evolve. Who inspires you to be the best that you can be? My son has always been my biggest inspiration and my driving force. From the start of my career in the executive world when I achieved professional success to give him a better life, to the moment I decided to make a change in my professional path, he was always one of the most important reasons I had to take the leap. I wanted to be more present in his life and for him to see me happy and fulfilled. Everyone deserves that gift. He has also been my teacher in many aspects, and from whom I continue to learn so many things every day. I am very proud of him and of all that he has achieved through his effort and passion. What is your work inspired by? Courage is what drives me. I want to help women gain the courage to get where they want to go. I always say, “Don't be perfect, be courageous.” And do you know why? Most of the time, we get paralyzed by an obstacle, the fear of being wrong and not achieving our goal. We wait for the conditions to be given to us, or worse, to have everything we think we need to take action. That thought that we cannot make mistakes, that everything has to be perfect, is a limiting belief. It keeps us from going after the things we want, both in our professional and personal lives. So, it's a way of reminding me and all women who feel the same way to be brave to face those challenges; to be willing to fail, to not have everything figured out, and to try as many times as possible because at the end of the day, all that leaves us with a lesson and definitely, it makes us grow. Thank you Patricia for sharing so many insights with us… How can people connect with you? Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn or visit my website for more info! Read more from Patricia!

Written by: Kosta Telegadas, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. What is max effort training and who helped create It? The Max Effort Method is a strength training technique developed by Louie Simmons, the founder of Westside Barbell, one of the world's most successful powerlifting gyms. The Max Effort Method emphasizes the use of heavy weights and low reps to build strength, and it is based on the principles of dynamic effort and maximal effort training. Dynamic effort training involves lifting lighter weights at a high velocity, while maximal effort training involves lifting heavy weights for low reps. The Max Effort Method combines these two techniques, utilizing dynamic effort for warm-up sets and maximal effort for heavy sets. Why It Is Important? According to Simmons, the Max Effort Method is the most effective way to build strength because it focuses on the maximal recruitment of muscle fibers, which leads to improved neural adaptations and increases in strength. This approach to strength training is also beneficial for developing power, as the heavyweights used in maximal effort training can be lifted with maximum speed and force. The Max Effort Method is not limited to a specific exercise or muscle group, as it can be applied to any lift or body part. For example, a powerlifter may use the Max Effort Method for the squat, bench press, and deadlift, while a bodybuilder may use it for bicep curls, tricep extensions, and leg presses. One of the key principles of the Max Effort Method is progressive overload, where the weight lifted is gradually increased over time. This is achieved by making small, consistent increases in weight each workout while keeping the reps low. The goal of progressive overload is to continuously challenge the muscles, promoting growth and adaptation. How Can We Implement It? In addition to progressive overload, the Max Effort Method also employs variation, where the exercises are changed every 4-6 weeks. This prevents the muscles from adapting and helps to prevent boredom and burnout. The variation can be as simple as switching from a barbell bench press to a dumbbell bench press, or as complex as changing the grip, stance, or angle of the lift. See the examples below for a lower body max effort training day with the intent of improving the back squat. (Note: these are for the main lifts only, not the accessory lifts). Week 1: Back Squat – Work Up to a 5 rep max Week 2: Sumo Deadlift: Work Up to a 5 rep max Week 3: Safety Bar Squat: Work Up to a 3 rep max Week 4: De-load – Trap Bar Deadlift (3x6 @ 60% of 1RM) Week 5: Back Squat + Chains – Work Up to a 3 rep max Week 6: Barbell Deadlift: Work Up to a 3 rep max Week 7: Safety Bar Squat + Chains: Work Up to a 3 rep max Week 8: De-load – Trap Bar Deadlift (3x6 @ 65% of 1RM) Week 9: Straight Bar Deadlift – Work Up to a 1 rep max Week 10: Front Squat Up to a 1 rep max Week 11: Week 8: De-load – Trap Bar Deadlift (3x6 @ 50% of 1RM) Week 12: Back Squat – Test – Note Improvements from previous 1 rep max from week 1. Attempt to break lifetime personal record When Is It Effective? There are two important aspects to consider in training to enhance the effectiveness of the program. Primarily, in the 12-week outline above, every 4th and 8th week there is a de-load on the primary lift. The rationale behind this is to prevent overtraining and decrease the likelihood of injury due to maximal loading between 1-5 reps. Prior to re-testing the 1 rep max back squat on week 12, there is a de-load week placed on week 11. This will allow for the body to recover and reduce fatigue accumulated from the previous weeks in training. Simultaneously, this placement in the 12-week outline allows the coach to set the lifter up for success at breaking a lifetime personal record. Another important aspect of the Max Effort Method is the use of accessory exercises, which are performed after the main lift. These exercises are designed to target specific muscle groups, support the main lift, and prevent injury. For example, after a heavy deadlift session, a powerlifter may perform good mornings, glute ham raises, or back extensions to strengthen the lower back, hamstrings, and glutes. Putting It Together: In conclusion, the Max Effort Method is a proven and effective approach to strength training, developed by Louie Simmons, and it has been used by many successful powerlifters and athletes to achieve impressive results. The combination of dynamic and maximal effort training, progressive overload, variation, and accessory exercises make this technique a comprehensive and well-rounded approach to building strength and power. Follow me on Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Kosta! Kosta Telegadas, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Kosta Telegadas is a leader in the strength and conditioning for tactical athletes and martial artists all over the world. He found physical training as a necessity to grow up playing sports, help prevent injury & give back to the country that gave his family so much over the generations. Coach Telegadas has a Master's Degree from the University of Miami (FL) and over 7 years of coaching experience with both professional, college, high school & tactical athletes. He is currently the Head Coach/CEO of Telegadas Performance Training and dedicates his time to make physical training programs & remote coaching accessible to all. His mission: If you stay ready, you never have to get ready! References: Simmons, L. (2007). The Westside Barbell Book Of Methods (1st ed.). Westside Barbell. https://www.westside-barbell.com/ Verkoshansky, Y. (2003). Supertraining Zatsiorsky, V. Kraemer, W. (2006). Science and Practice of Strength Training

Written by: Antonio Esposito, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. A man is standing on the edge of a chasm. He needs to reach the other side of the canyon, as the map he is following says, but between where he stands and his destination, there is a huge void and there is no way he can jump across. The man seems to be trapped, he is afraid, and he is sweating. He looks back and he knows that there is no way out. “That’s impossible, nobody can jump this...”, he mutters. The only way out is in front of him. He must jump! This is a famous scene from a 1989 cult movie, “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade”. This scene was mentioned as a metaphor in a book I am currently reading and brought back some old memories that I have decided to share in this article. We all find ourselves in situations in which we feel caged. We know we must make certain difficult choices to move forward, but we do not make them. Often, our way of dealing with choices is procrastination. We wait for more favourable times; we wait until we feel good or creative or perfect enough. We think that waiting will give us the courage to do what we know we have to do but are not courageous enough to make happen. We often justify ourselves with a long list of excuses, often fuelled by the doubts, fears and false beliefs we have about ourselves. 18 years before moving to the UK from Italy, I lived for a while in the middle of nowhere in Gaborone, the capital city of Botswana. Now, I am not going into the details of how I ended up over there from Naples (Italy), because it would take too long, but a situation I found myself in while I was there will hopefully clarify the point I want to share in this article. I had spent the previous five months and a half in Gaborone and my tourist visa had already expired twice. Basically, I was bound to become what is called an “alien” or, for better understanding, an illegal immigrant within a few days. As in many other countries, it was a legal offence there as well, and apparently, in Botswana it was punished with jail. One day during one of my usual trips back and forth from South Africa (a way to extend my visa), a gentle officer reminded me about the situation I was in. After she saw how many times I had crossed the border between Botswana and South Africa in the previous months, she started to look at me in the same way you would look at a criminal in an interrogation room. Thank God I was not alone there. The dear friend I was with started to talk in Tswana (the local language) with the officer, saying who knows what while my heart was shaking. Once they had both finished talking, the officer turned to me and said: “Promise me that you are leaving the country within two weeks”. She then took a copy of my passport and with a gentle but firm tone of voice in a strong local accent she repeated: “I am telling you, you have just two weeks, otherwise you might end up visiting an elegant 5-star jail in Zimbabwe, and believe me, not as a tourist”. Although I wasn’t sure if that threat was real or not, I was terrified. Eventually, they let us pass the border, but suddenly my reality had changed: I had to leave the country and I had to leave very soon. The problem, though, was that with only 150 euros cash left in my pocket, it was impossible to find a plane ticket. Unless I was willing to walk those 7000 miles apart between me and my country, I was stuck there. I had to leave, and I didn’t want to. Plus, I didn’t want to go back to Italy and live the same life, have the same problems, and go through the same crap I had initially been escaping from all over again. I felt caged, I felt like Indiana Jones stuck on that chasm, but I had to do something, like Indy I had to take a leap of faith. Despite what was going to happen, despite my fear, doubts, and lack of resources, I had to jump in some way. So, with a lot of shame in my heart, soul, and mind, I called my dear friend Sergio, in Italy, and I asked him if it was possible for him to buy me a plane ticket from Gaborone to Naples, as the situation over there was becoming critical. The ticket, trust me, wasn’t cheap, and at the time Sergio was not in the most profitable situation workwise, plus he had to take care of his wife and kids. But he was one of the two friends I knew I could always trust. I had no doubt he was going to help, and he did. 10 days later, I was leaving Botswana to go back to Italy. However, something didn’t feel right. Going back to Italy was almost as painful as spending some time in the Zimbabwe state prison. In front of me, there wasn’t a path to follow, not a bridge I could cross. Something needed to be done, but what? Jump! I called another friend of mine who was in the UK, Tony, and that’s what I said to him: “Listen, I might end up in jail, so I am leaving Botswana with the ticket that Sergio is kindly going to buy for me. I am going back to Naples, but I don't want to stay there. I have 150 euros left and nothing more. You’ve invited me to the UK so many times and, out of fear, I never accepted, making excuses over excuses, but now I would like to accept your invitation if it’s still valid. I will come for a few weeks, just the time to find a job, any job that will allow me to make ends meet”. Without any sort of hesitation, Tony replied: “Finally! Of course, you can come, I have a spare room and you can stay as long as you want”. I was so happy and grateful for having such amazing true friends. Now I had a plan to follow, something that did not exist just a day before. As soon as I put the phone down with Tony, I bought a one-way ticket from Naples to Liverpool for 27 euros (life was cheap at the time) and the date of departure was exactly a month away. Now I had one ticket to go back to Italy and one ticket to move to the UK and, of course, a debt of 600 plus euros with my dear friend Sergio, which, by the way, I repaid in full several months later. During the following days, while I was preparing for the trip back to Italy, lots of doubts and fears crossed my mind. I was going to the UK to do what? No money, an English vocabulary of not more than 50 words and not a precise direction to follow. What was I thinking? Many times, I considered calling my friend Tony and declining his offer again, but I never did, and 18 years later that is still one of the best decisions I have ever made. Like Indiana Jones, who took a step forward to a non-existing bridge that magically appeared under his feet, on the 30th of May 2006, I took that step by boarding an early morning flight to Liverpool, with nothing more than some clothes in my luggage and the hope that, day by day, my new life would start to make some sense. Many years have passed since then and many things have changed. I have experienced lots of ups and downs, successes, failures, and there were plenty of moments when I wanted to give up. However, I have learnt that sometimes you must jump, even when you have no idea of where that jump is going to lead you. Life is too short to wait for the right moment, the right person, the right amount of courage, and the day we feel good about ourselves and our abilities. Do you know why? Because if you wait, NOTHING will ever happen. What is in front of you might be something terrifying, completely unknown, that could potentially lead you to deal with another big mess, who knows. And that’s exactly the point, who knows? Indiana Jones needed to take a first step to find out that the bridge was already there, ready to be crossed, he needed to take a leap of faith and believe that something better might come, and if not, at the least you won’t live your life with the regret that you’ve never tried. “Have more fear of regret than failure”. ‒Thibaut If you enjoyed this article, I would like to know more about your insights and breakthroughs from reading it; then, if you are up to the challenge of mastering your Emotional Intelligence, bringing your life to the next level; book a one-to-one 30-minute FREE Consultation with me! For more info, visit my website or follow me on Facebook and LinkedIn. Read more from Antonio! Antonio Esposito, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Antonio is a Life Performance Coach, a Mentor, and an NLP Practitioner certified expert in the field of Emotional Intelligence and Eating Psychology. Moved to the United Kingdom from Italy in 2006, after enjoying 20+ years of experience in the corporate world as a senior web and graphic designer, Antonio is now the CEO and Founder of TheThinkingMind Coaching Ltd, a United Kingdom-based firm specializing in offering Coaching, Training and Personal Development services. Antonio's mission is to change the world one person at a time. Antonio's target is to facilitate the transformation of all those harmful and destructive mental processes by discovering one's inner self. Through Life Coaching, Personal Development, and Behavioural Psychology techniques, Antonio enables individuals to master their Emotional Intelligence and, through a set of empowering, transformative, and life-changing strategies and actions, help, support, and motivate people in achieving their most important goals. Antonio has a unique perspective on personal growth and happiness. He is recognized for his ability to lead others to maximize their full potential through living a life of purpose, balance, and significance. Since 2017, Antonio is also a member of the prestigious team of Mentors at The Coaching Academy, where he has coached and mentored hundreds of students worldwide to successfully complete their training journey as Professional Certified Life and Executive Business coaches.

Written by: Mariann Sebestyen, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. It is possible for some people to be unaware that they are acting a certain way or wearing a mask in order to avoid conflict or uncomfortable situations. Therefore, people pleasers tend to avoid conflict by any means necessary, even if that means becoming someone completely different. As a result, they often have to give up who they are. It is how others see them that determines their worth. For people pleasers, validation from others is essential. To earn praise from others or to be liked, they can go to extremes. The cause of people pleasing: Low self-esteem plays a role in people-pleasing. People who believe they are worth less than others may perceive their needs as unimportant. They may advocate for themselves less or have less awareness of what they want. They may also feel that they have no purpose if they cannot help others. People-pleasing can occur as a result of trauma (PTSD) or a series of traumatic experiences (C-PTSD). It is also known as the fawning trauma response. Fawning occurs when someone tries to avoid conflict by making others feel comfortable at the expense of their own needs. As a coping mechanism, the fawn response develops people-pleasing behaviours in order to avoid conflict, be pacified by the abuser, and create a sense of safety. The most common signs that you can identify are: Agree with everyone You listen to everyone's opinion and agree with it, but you do not express your opinion because you want to be liked. Feel responsible for how other people feel You want to make someone happy and believe that their happiness depends on you. Each person is responsible for his or her own happiness and emotions. Apologise often There are a number of reasons you may be making frequent apologies, whether it is excessive self-blame or fearing others are always blaming you. You don't have to apologise for who you are. Filled with things to do It's up to you how you spend your time. People-pleasers often fill their schedules with activities that they think others want them to do. Unable to say no You won't reach your goals if you are afraid to speak up for yourself, whether you commit and follow through or pretend to be ill to get out of your commitments. Being uncomfortable if someone is angry at you If someone is mad, it doesn't mean you did anything wrong. However, if you can't handle the thought of someone being dissatisfied with you, you are more likely to compromise your values. Sabotage your goal People pleasers often sabotage their own success. If they believe it will make others feel more comfortable, people-pleasers engage in self-destructive behaviour. Depend on validation The right kind words and praise can boost anyone's self-esteem, but people-pleasers rely on validation to make them feel good. A person whose self-worth depends entirely on what others think about them will only be satisfied when they receive compliments. Avoid conflict Conflict avoidance at all costs and not wanting to risk starting one means that you won't be able to stand up for the things and people that matter most. Avoid admitting being hurt If you have hurt feelings, you have to be willing to speak up about them sometimes in order to form authentic relationships. You cannot build a meaningful relationship if you don't express your feelings, whether you are embarrassed, sad, hurt, disappointed, or emotionally wounded. Do you recognise any of the signs in your life or your behaviour? Here are 11 tips on how to stop being a people pleaser: Build a healthy self-esteem and image of yourself Change your mindset Work on feelings such as shame, guilt, or anger when standing up for yourself Set healthy boundaries and say no Heal the inner child's wounds and trauma Learn healthy behaviours Become visible and heard by learning how to speak up for yourself Respect yourself enough to move away from unhealthy and toxic situations Listen to your feelings and inner-self Learn to be assertive without being aggressive. Work on your inner self and address any of the signs, fears, or insecurities It is okay to love and respect yourself. There will be people who do not agree with you or love or like you. However, the most important thing is to have a healthy relationship with yourself and accept yourself for who you are. The only thing that matters is what you think of yourself. What others think is just background noise. Speak your truth, be bold, and stand up for what you believe. I am happy to help if you want to overcome people-pleasing and you can reach out to me or send an email. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Mariann! Mariann Sebestyen, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Mariann Sebestyen is an expert in inner child wound healing, breaking free from unhealthy patterns and restoring a healthier self-concept. Adversity in early life left her with developmental challenges, childhood wounds, unmet needs, and the feeling of powerlessness and helplessness. Mariann generated strategies to extraordinarily change her relationship with herself, step into her power and create a positive self-image to become. She has since dedicated her life to helping others unleash their power, letting their true selves shine, and confidently move towards a new life. She is the founder of Inner Child Wound Healing and the Childhood Trauma Healing Journey program. Her mission: Self Restoration.

Amelia Harshfield is fascinated and motivated by what impact makers can achieve as they become more resilient. With a solid education and a master’s degree in economics, she has been creating passive income in Real Estate investing for over 5 years. Her key foundational work is The Overcoming Anxiety Method™, a powerful 4-step formula for playing a bigger game without being crushed by fear. This process is paramount to finding an authentic version of freedom and wealth. Mentoring and educating high-level operators is her passion, her work has been featured in magazines, podcasts, conferences, and she has been a trainer on Sir Richard Branson's Necker Island. Amelia Harshfield, Mentor What are a couple of things people find interesting about you? Something that people comment on often is my curiosity. I ask a lot of questions. People also notice my ability to learn very quickly. Both skills help me absorb information about a lot of topics. Because of that, I have many different skills, experiences, and perspectives to find solutions for myself and my clients. I’m also deeply aware of emotions while balancing the effectiveness of my time and energy. For a long time, I felt like I needed to be either highly emotional or use my analytical side. As I’ve combined the two my life has felt more authentic, and I’ve had more fun. Tell us a bit about your background. When I started to live on my own after college, I realized that my stress and anxiety management skills were essentially nonexistent. I also had little emotional intelligence skills. Trying to operate as an adult I was often anxious, making bad decisions, not thinking things through, and unsure about my vision. I’ve learned how to address my concerns directly and respectfully, to understand when I’m triggered and feeling off, to say no, and to stop repeating the same mistakes over and over. After becoming proficient with those skills, focusing on my vision has become easier and simpler. I can now sort out my personal life so I can use most of my time to go after what I want in life. It is such a wonderful shift. I’ve also been investing in real estate for over 5 years now. I’ve bought properties highly undervalued, I’ve found ways to create passive income that works for me, and I know how to understand which properties are going to likely make money and which are not. As I kept learning how to be less impacted by stress and uncertainty, I’ve gotten much better at investing and making money. Anxiety is one of the most covered topics in your work. Why do you spend so much time on that subject? Anxiety seems to impact a lot of entrepreneurs and visionaries. They often have tremendous pressure to look after themselves, their family, their team, and fulfilling their vision. Entrepreneurship and going after a big goal often bring different challenges. These can be worrying if someone is not equipped with effective personalized stress management skills. There are a lot of tools out there to reduce anxiety. Not all of them are helpful for reducing anxiety. I’ve found once someone finds the reason why they are anxious and know how to soothe their fear, they can move on from being triggered in that way. I’ve also had lots of success with reducing my own anxiety. From not having psoriasis on my face and neck anymore, to not having seasonal depression, I’ve learned what a difference simple steps can make if someone has a personalized anxiety-reducing protocol. I would love to see people spend less time being knocked down by anxiety and more time focusing on helping the world. This skill set just frees people up so much. According to your experience and working with others, how does anxiety stop visionaries from realizing their vision? The world needs visionaries. Those big dreamers are necessary to make life better for everyone. However, when they are struggling with anxiety, several things will keep their vision from becoming a reality. They usually do not make good decisions when they are anxious. They may trust the wrong people, listen to bad advice, and not believe in themselves. When someone has a lot of anxiety, they often attract people who want to take advantage of them (knowingly or unknowingly). This can stop people’s momentum in building their vision or subvert them down the wrong path. Visionaries who have these tools will not be as impacted by the stressors of life, being an entrepreneur, and trying to help the world. When visionaries can calm themselves down, it can help to understand how to soothe themselves. The Anxiety Workbook I’ve written covers several reasons why someone may be triggered and how to get some control over their distress. It will go more in-depth with simple options and solutions. The first section is at no cost and can be found here. Visionaries need many small wins to achieve their goals. For their vision to become actualized, they need to be holding themselves back as little as possible. Removing anxiety’s impact on their vision is a massive step forward as they are not burdening their vision with their personal stressors. Otherwise, they will be trying to drive to their destination with the break on the entire time. They won’t be getting there quickly. How has anxiety held back your clients? Anxiety is not a fun place to be. Someone's mind can run constantly. Someone might be uncertain about the next step forward. They might be hearing two voices wanting different outcomes and not sure which one is right. They might feel out of control. Their body is likely tense with stress. The tough thing about having anxiety is that it can lead someone not to trust themselves. They may be uncertain when it will come back. They might feel like anxiety has total power over them. How can someone lead if they do not trust themselves? How can they get their team, investors, and business partner focused in the same direction when they are questioning themselves? But what is interesting is as someone gets better at handling their anxiety, they are able to relax more. For example, a business owner and I worked privately for three months. By the end of that time, was able to delegate better, she was not regularly checking for updates on her business, and she was able to set boundaries that allowed her to make more money. She was able to be more present with her personal life and business. She felt more confident by understanding why she was anxious, how to look after herself and make better decisions. What do you think is the most helpful thing a visionary and/or entrepreneur can do with their anxiety? Honestly, it’s a tough question because I believe it’s a process that is unique for the person. People have different fears, self-doubts, and experiences that can trigger them. The easiest and most effective way to start working through the Anxiety Workbook. The first of four sections can be grabbed at no cost on my website or at the link at the end of this paragraph. The workbook has simple questions and exercises to help someone focus while cutting through their overwhelm. These methods have helped mom-and-pop business owners deal with their everyday stresses as well as high-level impact makers. It has received many comments on helpful it was in reducing the pressure and stress they were experiencing. As a bonus, the workbook can be repeated anytime someone is triggered. So, they don’t have to figure out why they are anxious or what can make them feel better. They can just sit down and let the workbook guide them to feeling calmer. Here is the link. Thank you Amelia for your time and expertise. Thank you for the opportunity! Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Amelia!