Written by: Alina Machita, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
My Dearest Woman,
You do not serve yourself, your man, or the world by shrinking yourself for love. Woman, I know you have heard for a lifetime that you’re too much of something, too deep, too needy, too smart, too loud, too opinionated, too demanding... too happy, too sad, too large, too emotional, too expressive, too loving… too “whatever” the complaint may be.
So you learned to dim yourself down in countless ways. You learned not to show up the way you want, but the way you’re expected to.
You learned to second guess and shrink yourself. Watch yourself disappear in a room full of men because you wouldn’t speak up to the fullest expression of YOU as a woman.
And even when you tried, you still felt like no one could truly “see” you. Instead, they saw a ghost of your true self.
Which only then makes you feel like you’re not valuable and somehow not enough. It’s painful and tragic. And it feels like you can never win. But you can.
The secret?
You’ve Been Stuck In A Cycle Of Lies That Gets Broken Today.
A cycle of shrinking yourself for someone else that’s stacked the cards against you.
A cycle, like any other, that can end whenever you want.
You have to remember a few key truths: You do not serve YOURSELF or get a man to love you deeper by shrinking yourself to fit inside his limited capacity to love you.
You do not bring him closer anyway when you are mentally focused on LACK.
You cannot scare off any man – or human – who is genuinely ready to learn how to love all of you.
You’re perfect, JUST as you are.
And you must learn to trust this if you want to explore who you are and accept yourself truly. No one else will accept you unless you teach them to accept you.
Because like I said – we are always teaching others how to treat us by showing up ourselves.
So yes …
You Are Perfect Just As You Are
But that doesn’t mean that you still don’t have inner work to do.
You, just like all men and women, are raised by the same fast-paced society that programs our thoughts, our patterns, and our behaviors every day – whether that’s through social media, major news networks, or even your career.
So that means we all have “programming” where we are unskillful and trained to act from fear, just like we’ve been shown in just about every movie, NetFlix show, and media storyline we’ve ever seen.
Instead of responding through love, self-trust, and the inner-awareness that’s available to us inside, once we know how it works.
When most people get into a relationship, they almost AUTOMATICALLY fall into these same old, false, self-limiting beliefs that push love and connection away.
So it’s never been your fault, not for one single day.
Never forget that you’re here to express the FULLNESS of you, dear woman, full spectrum.
You are a multi-dimensional soul, and it’s time you learn to trust who you are at your core – moment by moment, from your agony to your ecstasy.
If you’re truly too much for someone, then you do not serve that someone by shrinking yourself just to keep them close. You will know it’s time to move on if ANY human constantly resists you, puts you into a box, or tries to shrink you into something they can “understand and manage” because...
YOU Are Meant To Be Loved, Not Understood
Because the truth is that kind of person that cannot accept YOU as you are – can not truly accept THEMSELVES as they are.
And they will keep running away from you because they cannot face THEMSELVES!
Anyway, why would you want to be with someone who keeps showing you they aren’t at least willing to learn how to love you – for you?
You aren’t here to just be a “good girl” who’s easy to put up with.
A man truly worthy of your trust, surrender, and heart is one who’s willing to show up through conscious self-love and fight whatever dragons arise inside him that disconnect him from his heart and prevent him from offering his love to you!
Look, none of us have been taught how to love. We have been taught the OPPOSITE regarding real love and relationships by everyone who raised us.
We’ve been taught that logic and reason should prioritize our emotions and feelings, which most of society views as just “annoying obstacles to progress and productivity,” which may be why you feel people overlook and misunderstand you – especially men stuck in their head.
However, your willingness, your courage, your gift to offer all of you, even the uncomfortable parts, is your invitation to get your MAN out of his head and into his heart with you.
If a dude is defiant toward seeing and hearing you as you really are – please don’t suffer yourself until he figures it out.
If he is fully committed to resisting the fullness of you, let him resist and let him go.
Letting him go just might be the wake-up call you both need to figure out that you’re here on this planet to learn how to TRULY love, anyway!
Besides, if he’s a genuine guy and ready to love you, he’ll be willing to love and nurture his passion and fire and fight those demons that guard the gates to his heart.
For that’s the only way he can ever appreciate, recognize, nurture or claim the massive treasure hidden inside yours. But you must wake up, dear Goddess, and claim your own inner fire. It’s time for you to stop holding yourself back.
And BE YOU
The ENTIRE WORLD truly needs you to be awake, empathetic, alive, and TOTAL lit up in the fullness of you.
Please stop shrinking yourself for love because that is not the way.
I know that as you are sitting here reading this, you can feel deep in your heart where you know there’s SO much more than this “small love” you’ve been going through.
And I know in my heart that you didn’t come here to play small in love.
You didn’t come here to enable others to play small in love, either.
You, dear WILD WOMAN, are the reason the planet is waking up.
The Divine Waking Up Inside Us All
I know it can be scary, especially when we find our own “inner light,” and people are afraid of it.
Men are afraid of you. Which totally sucks. I get it.
For a long time, I have frightened men with this fierce feminine power inside me that I had no idea how to wield …
So I want you to know that you are not just “okay” as you are … you are EXTRAORDINARY … you are pure fire …
When you are just being YOU.
Pure Soul. Pure Fire.
F*cking extraordinary.
It’s time for you to light up the world and stop holding yourself back.
Love yourself anyway
(I love you)
Enjoy your day,
Alina
Alina MaChita, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Hi, I’m Alina. I’m an empath, a transformational healer and a Subconscious mind Specialist. I have an unshakable passion and gift to help women stop self-sabotage, unlock their subconscious mind, release trapped emotions and subconscious blocks, keeping them from living in love, accomplishments, and balance. Most of my work is done directly within your Subconscious Mind where your Power is; utilizing muscle testing is a way to communicate with the subconscious mind and sophisticated systems like Emotion and Body Code and Raising levels of consciousness, removing physical and emotional blocks and stored trapped imbalances that can keep you from abundance, creativity, emotional balance and lightness of being.
