Why Returning to Work Is Never Just Going Back
- 1 day ago
- 10 min read
Vicky Russ is a leadership coach and former CEO with 20+ years’ experience across the public, health and education sectors. She specialises in leadership, transformation and helping leaders navigate complex change and life transitions.
Every year, hundreds of thousands of people in the UK return to work after maternity leave, long-term illness, burnout, redundancy, or other life events. Most are expected to slot back in as if nothing happened. Many are told by employers, by colleagues, and sometimes by the people closest to them that they should be grateful to have a job at all. This article challenges that narrative, examines why so many returners struggle in silence, and offers ten evidence-informed strategies for going back on your own terms, without guilt and without apology.
A crisis hiding in plain sight
The numbers are staggering. In the UK in 2024/25, 964,000 workers suffered from work-related stress, depression, or anxiety, the highest figure ever recorded, according to the Health and Safety Executive. That is a 24 percent increase on the previous year and more than double the rate recorded when annual collection began in 2001. It resulted in 22.1 million working days lost. Stress, anxiety, and depression now account for 52 percent of all work-related ill health.
And yet, when people take time away from work, whether through illness, burnout, maternity leave, redundancy, or caring responsibilities, the expectation when they return is often the same, get on with it. Be grateful. Slot back in. It is, after all, "just a job."
Except it is never just a job. And the idea that it should be is one of the most damaging myths in modern working life.
It was never "just a job"
Work gives us structure, identity, social connection, purpose, and a sense of competence. It organises our days, our relationships, and, for many of us, our sense of who we are. When that is disrupted, the impact is not merely logistical. It is psychological, emotional, and often deeply personal.
A woman returning from maternity leave is not simply resuming her duties. She is navigating a fundamental shift in identity, from the person she was to the person she has become, while managing guilt, sleep deprivation, and often a workplace that has moved on without her. Research from the Careers After Babies report found that 74,000 women in the UK lose their job every year for getting pregnant or taking maternity leave. Among those who returned to a different role in the same organisation, 57 percent left within two years.
A person returning after burnout is not coming back from a holiday. They are re-entering the very environment that broke them, often without any meaningful change to the conditions that caused the burnout in the first place. Mental Health UK's 2026 Burnout Report found that 63 percent of UK employees show clear signs of burnout, with 62 percent citing toxic workplace culture as the primary cause. If the culture has not changed, the return is not a recovery. It is a countdown to the next collapse.
A person returning after redundancy is carrying grief, rejection, and often a fractured sense of professional identity. They may be entering a new organisation while still processing the loss of the old one, and doing so while pretending to be fine because the world has told them they should be.
And someone returning after long-term illness is facing all of this with the added weight of a body or mind that may not yet be fully healed, in a system that measures recovery by whether you can sit at a desk for eight hours, not by whether you are actually well.
The guilt that nobody talks about
One of the most corrosive aspects of returning to work is the guilt. Guilt for being away. Guilt for needing time. Guilt for not being "over it" yet. Guilt for struggling when you are supposed to be grateful and strong. And, perhaps most damaging of all, guilt for the very reasonable thought that you might not want to go back at all.
This guilt is not a personal failing. It is a cultural product. We live in a society that values resilience as strength, treats vulnerability as weakness, and frames workplace distress as a problem with the individual rather than the environment. If you burned out, you were not resilient enough, or perhaps you struggled because you weren’t good enough at your job. If you struggled after maternity leave, you were not committed enough. If you could not bounce back from redundancy, you were not strong or competent enough.
This framing is not just wrong. It is dangerous. It shifts responsibility from the system to the person. And it creates a population of returners who are so busy managing their guilt that they never ask the question that actually matters, "Is this environment safe for me to return to? Does it value me?"
I know because I have been there
I know this because I have lived it, more than once. I returned to work twice after having babies. I returned after Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I returned after burnout. Every single time, the experience was the same, anxiety-inducing, guilt-ridden, and utterly lacking in compassion. I was expected to hit the ground running. To catch up, even if that meant extra hours and extra work. My absence was treated not as recovery or as one of the most significant experiences of my life, but as time off. A gap. Something dangerously close to a paid holiday.
Every single return felt like penance for having had the audacity to be away. Not once did anyone ask how my absence had affected me and who I was now. Not once was there a conversation about what I might need to ease my transition or any recognition that I was coming back as a different person from the one who had left. The unspoken message was clear, you have had your time off. Now prove you still deserve to be here.
And later, as a senior leader and Chief Executive Officer (CEO), I saw it from the other side, watching large organisations fail their returning staff with the same lack of compassion, the same hollow processes, and the same unspoken expectation that people should simply get on with it and be grateful to still have a job.
The system that fails returners
The evidence that organisations are failing their returning workers is overwhelming. One in five workers who took time off due to stress received no support whatsoever upon their return. Only 17 per cent had a formal return-to-work plan in place. More than a quarter of mothers either do not return after maternity leave or leave within a year of coming back, with most citing a lack of support or poor return-to-work policies. Among those who did return but to a different role, 57 per cent left the organisation within two years.
The picture for long-term sickness absence is even starker. Workers who have been absent for six months or more have less than a 50 per cent chance of ever returning to employment at all. And those who do return often find themselves back in the same conditions, with the same pressures, and the same lack of support, which is why so many leave again within months. The cost to UK businesses is estimated at £650 million annually in lost talent from maternity returners alone. Factor in the £85 billion annual cost of long-term sickness absence, including £47 billion in lost output, and the scale of the failure becomes clear.
This is not support. It is performance. And it is why so many returners, intelligent, capable, experienced professionals, find themselves sitting at their desk within weeks of coming back, quietly wondering whether they have made a terrible mistake.
It is not your fault, but it is your life
I do want to be clear about something here. If you struggled when you returned to work, that does not mean there is something wrong with you. It almost certainly means there was something wrong with the support you received, or did not receive. The research is unambiguous and logical: well-managed, phased returns with proper psychological support produce significantly better outcomes than the "just get on with it" approach that remains the norm in most UK workplaces.
But here is the part that matters most. While you cannot always control the system, you can control how you re-enter it. You can set boundaries. You can name your needs. You can refuse to carry guilt for something that was never your fault. And you can approach your return not as a retreat back to who you were, but as a deliberate, conscious step forward into who you are becoming.
That is not selfishness. That is self-leadership. And it is the difference between a return that sustains you and one that slowly breaks you down again.
Ten tips for returning to work on your terms
Drop the guilt at the door. You do not owe anyone an apology for being away. Whatever the reason, maternity, illness, burnout, redundancy, or caring, you took the time you needed and were entitled to. Guilt is not a sign that you did something wrong. It is a sign that you have internalised someone else's expectations. Name it, challenge it, and let it go.
Reject the "just a job" narrative. If work were "just a job," losing it would not hurt, returning to it would not be frightening, and toxic cultures would not cause illness. Work is tied to your identity, your relationships, your sense of purpose, and your mental health. Acknowledging that is not weakness. It is honesty. And honesty is the foundation of a healthy return.
Define your terms before you walk through the door. Before your first day back, get clear on what you need. Not what you think your employer will accept, what you actually need. Flexible hours? A phased return? A quiet space? Reduced meetings in the first week? Write it down. Present it. Do not wait to be offered what you should be asking for.
Have the conversation you are avoiding. If you are anxious about going back, say so, to your manager, to Human Resources (HR), to your General Practitioner (GP), or to someone you trust. Research consistently shows that open, early communication about return-to-work needs produces better outcomes. The conversation you are avoiding is almost always the conversation that will help you most.
Prepare for the identity shift. You are not the same person you were when you left. That is not a problem, it is reality. You may have become a parent, survived an illness, recovered from a breakdown, or simply had time to think about what actually matters to you. Do not try to pretend nothing has changed. Bring the whole of who you are now back with you, it’s your superpower.
Set boundaries early and hold them. The first week sets the precedent. If you answer emails at 10pm in your first week back, you will be expected to answer emails at 10pm forever. If you skip lunch to prove you are committed, you will skip lunch indefinitely. Set the boundaries that protect your wellbeing from day one, because it is much harder to introduce them later.
Build your support network before you need it. Identify the people who will help you, not just at work, but outside it. A trusted colleague, a mentor, a coach, or a friend who will check in on you. Returning to work can feel isolating, especially if your workplace has changed while you were away, as well as you. You need people in your corner, identify them.
Watch for the warning signs. If you find yourself dreading Mondays again within weeks of returning, pay attention. If your sleep is deteriorating, your anxiety is climbing, or you are counting the hours until you can leave, those are not signs that you should try harder. They are signs that something in the environment is not right. Do not ignore them. They are your early warning system.
Remember, staying is a choice, not an obligation. You are not trapped. If the environment that caused your absence has not changed, you are allowed to decide that it is not the right place for you. Leaving is not failure. Sometimes the bravest and most self-respecting thing you can do is walk away from a situation that is harming you and build something better on your own terms.
Get professional support. You do not have to figure this out alone. A coach, a therapist, or a career adviser, someone who can help you process what happened, rebuild your confidence, and plan a return that actually works for you. Returning to work after a significant absence is one of the most complex transitions in adult life. Treat it with the seriousness it deserves.
Take control of your first week back
The first week of any return to work sets the tone for everything that follows. Get it right, and you build momentum, confidence, and a sense of control. Get it wrong, or have it managed badly for you, and you become another statistic, another returner who quietly walks away because nobody helped them come back properly. The research tells us that more than half of workers who return to a changed role leave within two years, and that those absent for six months have less than a 50 per cent chance of returning at all. These are not numbers about weak people. They are numbers about broken systems.
That is the real reason I wrote Your First Week Back: Returning to Work After Extended Leave, on Your Terms. Not from theory, from lived experience, both as a returner and as a manager who witnessed first-hand how unsupportive large organisations can be. It is a practical, coaching-led guide for anyone returning to work after maternity leave, long-term sickness, bereavement, burnout, or redundancy. It walks you through the emotional, practical, and psychological challenges of re-entry and gives you the tools to do it on your terms, not theirs. A supporting online course is also available for those who want structured, step-by-step, video-led guidance.
If you are preparing to return to work and want to do it with confidence, clarity, and self-compassion, Your First Week Back is available on Amazon, search "Vicky Russ" or visit vickyrusslifecoach.com. And if you would like to learn more about coaching support for your return, book a free discovery call. You do not have to go back alone.
Read more from Victoria (Vicky) Russ
Victoria (Vicky) Russ, Managing Director and Leadership Coach
Vicky Russ is a leadership coach and former CEO with over 20 years’ experience across the public, health and education sectors. She specialises in leadership, transformation and helping leaders navigate complex change and life transitions. Her work focuses on supporting leaders to maintain performance while creating psychologically safe, high-performing cultures. Vicky is also a teacher of Positive Psychology Leadership and brings a practical, human approach to even the most challenging situations. She is passionate about “protecting the protectors” and helping leaders move from pressure to purpose.
References:
Careers After Babies (2025). Employment Pathways and Occupational Change After Childbirth.
Health and Safety Executive (2025). Work-Related Stress, Anxiety and Depression Statistics in Great Britain, 2025.
LiveCareer (2025). Mind the Gap: 2025 UK Employment Gap Report.
Mental Health UK (2026). Burnout Report 2026. Available at: mentalhealth-uk.org
Office for National Statistics (2025). Sickness Absence in the UK Labour Market: 2025.
Peppy Health (2026). How to Improve Parental Leave Retention in 2026.
Pregnant Then Screwed and Women in Data (2025). Maternity Discrimination in the UK.
Yomly (2026). Workplace Mental Health Statistics for 2026: Key Data and Trends.
