Why Narcissism Feels Like It's Everywhere and What We Can Actually Do About It
- Brainz Magazine
- Jun 16
- 4 min read
Dana Medvedev is a leading Intimacy & Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coach and creator of REVIVE, a breakthrough program helping women rise from emotional manipulation, reclaim their power, and feel safe, sensual, and unstoppable again.
You’ve probably said it, or heard it: "Everyone's a narcissist these days." From the office to dating apps, family gatherings to social media, it’s like the world is overflowing with self-centred, emotionally unavailable people who crave attention and lack empathy. And you’re not wrong to notice a shift. But narcissism isn't just a buzzword, it’s become a cultural mirror.
Let’s talk about why narcissism seems to be everywhere, what selfies and social media reveal about this dynamic, and how I, as a coach, work with people affected by narcissistic relationships and behaviours.
1. The cult of the individual: A society that breeds narcissism
We’re living in what sociologists call a hyper-individualistic culture. We are taught to “stand out,” “be the best,” “build your personal brand,” and “hustle hard.” Sounds empowering, right? But there’s a dark side: this mindset creates fertile ground for narcissistic traits, grandiosity, entitlement, exploitation, to flourish.
In today’s world, especially in competitive environments like business, media, or even wellness spaces, having narcissistic traits can offer social capital. Confidence is confused with superiority. Charm is mistaken for character.
We're not just raising humans, we’re producing performers.
2. Digital narcissism: The selfie and the algorithm
Let’s get specific. The selfie is one of the most symbolic acts of modern narcissism, but not always in the way people assume.
From a psychological perspective, narcissists are often obsessed with image control. They seek admiration and avoid vulnerability. Social media gives them the perfect platform: a curated stage where they control the spotlight and the narrative.
Studies show that people with high levels of narcissism tend to post more selfies, especially edited ones, and track the feedback closely. It feeds their sense of self-importance. But here's the twist: social media is turning all of us into part-time narcissists.
We’re trained by algorithms to seek likes, craft a persona, and avoid showing anything too raw or messy.
That doesn’t mean everyone taking a selfie is narcissistic, it means the culture rewards behaviour that mimics narcissism. You can’t be invisible in a digital society, and being visible means playing a performance game.
It’s survival, not necessarily pathology.
3. Narcissism as trauma: Not all egos are created equal
Not all narcissists are flashy. Some are covert, passive-aggressive, victim-playing, emotionally manipulative behind closed doors. And often, behind those behaviours is unresolved trauma. Narcissism can develop as a defence mechanism in childhood, especially when a child grows up with unstable attachment, neglect, or emotional enmeshment.
What we call narcissism is sometimes a symptom of deeper pain.
On the flip side, people who grew up around narcissists often develop “echoism”, a term coined by psychologist Dr. Craig Malkin, which refers to people who minimize their needs and avoid attention to stay safe. This dynamic creates toxic relationships where the narcissist dominates and the echoist shrinks.
In short: narcissism isn’t always about vanity. It’s often about emotional survival.
4. Late-stage capitalism and the “brand of me”
Let’s zoom out further. Our economic system encourages competition, self-promotion, and scarcity thinking. Everything becomes a transaction, even relationships. You’re not just a person anymore; you’re a brand. This is capitalism meets psychology.
When people are rewarded for looking successful instead of being authentic, narcissism becomes currency.
And we’re all being shaped by this, whether we realize it or not.
5. How I work with narcissistic dynamics in my coaching practice
As a coach in the realm of sexuality and wellness, I often work with individuals, mostly women, who have been in relationships with narcissistic partners or carry narcissistic wounds from childhood. These clients are often disconnected from their intuition, boundaries, and authentic desires. They’ve been trained to perform, please, or disappear.
Here’s what I help them do:
Recognize red flags and patterns, especially in emotionally manipulative dynamics.
Reclaim their voice, their truth, and their right to be seen, not as a product, but as a person.
Reconnect to their body, because narcissistic trauma often creates disembodiment and shame.
Stop over-functioning in relationships where they feel responsible for someone else’s emotional mess.
Build inner validation, so they no longer need approval from those who thrive on control.
Narcissism is not just a psychological label, it’s a relational wound.
And healing it takes self-awareness, courage, and a reconnection with real intimacy, not curated connection.
Final thoughts: Don’t pathologize, but don’t minimize either
We shouldn’t call everyone we dislike a narcissist, but we also shouldn’t ignore the very real effects narcissistic dynamics have on mental and emotional health.
The rise in narcissism is not random. It’s the result of a sick society, a system that rewards surfaces, punishes vulnerability, and disconnects us from our humanity. But the antidote isn’t shaming narcissists or deleting our selfies. It’s doing the inner work.
The real revolution starts inside.
And that’s the space I hold for my clients, where we go from survival performance to embodied truth.
Read more from Dana Medvedev
Dana Medvedev, Narcissistic Abuse and Intimacy Coach
Dana Medvedev is an Intimacy and Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coach, and a survivor who turned her own trauma into transformation. She is the creator of REVIVE, a powerful program guiding women through the deep work of healing after narcissistic abuse, emotionally, psychologically, and somatically. Known for her sharp intuition, raw honesty, and deeply empathetic presence, she holds space without sugarcoating. Her no-nonsense style cuts through victimhood and confusion to help women reclaim their bodies, boundaries, and brilliance. Her mission is personal: to help others do what she did, break the cycle, rebuild from the inside out, and come home to themselves.
