Why Focusing on The Result is Preventing You From Doing What You Love
Updated: Mar 10, 2025
Nadja Ravens is a Swedish author and director known for Blacksmith of Happiness. She is an expert when it comes to mental health issues, especially addiction and eating disorders. She is the founder of Unlocked Artist, an empowering program for female artists, dreamers, and visionaries to fulfill their dreams and unlock their potential.
A dear friend once told me that I was too focused on the results and that I should start focusing on enjoying the journey. She saw how stressed I was and how out of tune I was with my authentic self. Of course, I understood what she meant, but I didn’t know how not to focus on the results. My whole life had been a struggle. My identity consisted of performing and valuing my worth in performance.
I was a high achiever. My achievements and results defined and dominated my value as a human being. I took every rejection as a confirmation that I was worthless. I was so controlled by other people's opinions of me that I abandoned myself. For every decision I made in life, I went into excessive worry and agonizing over whether I made the right choice.
I was living a fear-based life, only concerned about what could possibly go wrong with any decision I made.
Instead of thinking about what might actually go right!
The thing is, it’s not really what happens to you that matters; it’s the way you respond to what happens to you that matters.
What if not getting that job was leading you towards a better job opportunity? What if being rejected by that guy you thought you liked was a protection from the universe?
And what if being turned down by a book publisher forced you to take action in another story?
See, the thing is, Your story is still being written. There is no end to it. We don’t know the end results, so why not enjoy the story while you’re in it? Life is a journey, and it’s meant to be lived! Today, I woke up and sang loudly in the shower; like a silly goof, I was dancing and laughing. My whole body was filled with positive and excited energy. That would not have been me a year ago. My mind was so caught up with everything that might go wrong in my life that it was literally preventing me from enjoying my own life! I wasn’t doing anything because I was too driven by my fears.
If you want to find out what is blocking you, you might very well be one step closer to living the life you dream of living! And the best part is, you also get to enjoy living that life!
Life is not a racetrack with a punishing whip behind your back. Life is too short not to enjoy. Have fun and focus on what makes you feel good! When you focus on what makes you feel good, your results will come. And they will come naturally. If you run around forcing an outcome, you will only end up feeling stressed, anxious, and tired. Take it from someone who knows!
My friends got tired of me calling them and complaining about how my life was going and whether I was on the right track. I knew I needed to change my mindset, but I simply didn't know how to. There was absolutely nothing I could do on my own. I needed to ask for help!
It turned out that I just lacked a few simple tools, and as soon as I got them, I managed to change my thinking from the inside out. My view of the world changed because I changed my view of myself.
My performance-based self-esteem caused me to burn out. I couldn’t enjoy any of my passions anymore. My writing, my acting, my making movies, and taking photographs. My reading, watching a movie, or going for a walk. I was completely exhausted in body and mind.
I was my harshest critic, and I lived with the whip that made me feel inadequate in everything I did. To find my way back to myself, I needed to change my mindset. Once I cracked the code and understood what was blocking me, a whole new world opened up to me, and I entered a wonderful flow of energy where the possibilities were limitless.
Too many people live in the belief that they simply must work harder, do more, and perform better, and the results will come. But we completely overlook how we feel in the process and forget to have fun along the way.
If you are in a flow of great energy, you will perform better. You will work more and best of all, you will feel good while working! Your dreams are worth living and enjoying.
Read more from Nadja Ravens
Nadja Ravens, Director, Author, Actress & Business Coach
Nadja Ravens is an expert and a voice for any female artist, dreamer, and visionary who wants to unlock their potential and grow a business from their dreams. She overcame addiction and now wants to help others find their own power within. As her film production company, Black Ravens Studio's slogan goes, she lives by the motto "Rage more. Dare more. Create more." The sky is the limit!
