Why 'Fighting For Love' Is An Illusion
- Mar 29, 2022
- 4 min read
Updated: May 11, 2022
Written by: Pia Antico, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Ok, so I wasn't going to jump on the bandwagon and add to the noise about Oscar's night fisticuffs between Will Smith & Chris Rock. I have been reading/watching the opinions of those agreeing with Will Smith's Hollywood endorsed notion that "Love makes you do crazy things", and that we are all reacting directly to what others say or to the events that happen.
But this is NOT the Universal truth of the human experience.
"Love doesn't hurt, but sometimes our own unrecognized thinking really, really does." ‒ Michael Neill
The ideas not being questioned are that:
Love leads to upset, and the more love we have for something, the more that potential for upset grows.
Love can "make" us do things that are harmful to ourselves and/or others
Love is a legitimate cause for and justification of violence in the world.
This definition of 'love' however is simply conditional Ego attachment thinking. Universal love is not conditional & at our core as energy beings, we are vessels for Universal love.
The truth is that we're living in the feelings of our thinking, and we are not reacting directly to the world. The only thing that can "make" us angry is our worried, defensive, judgemental, and self-righteous thinking.
And the only thing that can make us behave in ways that are harmful to ourselves and/or others is getting so lost in our own thought-created reality that we get temporarily cut off from our innate wisdom, mental health, and common sense.
Look at babies, they don't get into fistfights over perceived offenses; instead, they move seamlessly between the simple bliss of being and the emotional rollercoaster of physical distress. As soon as the nappy is changed and the physical hunger is sated, they return immediately to their innate wellbeing.
And even when the baby is in temporary physical discomfort of poopy nappy conditions; they are not adding an extra existential layer of suffering to the situation by making conclusions about themselves & the world. They don't freak themselves out with fear of future poopy nappies based on past poopy nappies. Babies are living in the present moment of their innate resilience.
As for ourselves, the good news is that when we momentarily lose sight of our innate resilience & get lost in a labyrinth of personal thinking (our own & others) we don't have to figure out the what & why of the cloudy thinking in order to let it pass.
All that happened is that three people were having their own thought created experiences, and for a moment got lost in the illusion that their feelings were being caused by the other person.
In that moment they couldn't see their beliefs & assumptions about the meaning of the situation as the cause of their unpleasant feelings.
And they, like all sentient beings, moved toward pleasure & away from pain; and if mistaken about where those feelings come from, then the methods inevitably will be faulty.
When we see it as a person having a problem thinking leading to problem feelings & causing problem behaviour; then we can have compassion for them and for ourselves when we fall into it too.
We don't need to know the why or change the content of that problem thinking, nor do we need to control the problem feeling to be free of their influence. It is simply a matter of Awareness that we are momentarily caught in some thinking and it is not our true wisdom & wellbeing.
Awareness instantly illuminates & dispels the shadows of fearful thinking.
So, while the world is creating a whole lot of thinking around the events & attributing a scaffolding of meaning around it, on all levels.
The problem is actually rather simple & the answer even simpler.
For a moment we witnessed a person responding to their unpleasant thought created feelings as if they were being caused by something uncontrollable outside of them & in that fear they mistook the means of returning to inner peace by using physical force on the external condition.
When we realise the truth of our feelings & where they come from as embodied insight; a deeper 'knowing’ then we are less likely to freak out about our experience & less likely to react forcefully to get rid of those feelings.
When we are not reactive from our thinking, we are in flow with our wisdom guidance & resilience.
Truly we don't need to fear our feelings & the sooner we realise this as insight the freer we become.
"No matter how terrible our circumstances may seem, we're only one thought away from a whole new experience of being" ‒ Michael Neill
Pia Antico, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
In the middle of a storm, it is possible to find peace & strength when we tap into our innate Spirit-led wisdom and step heartfully into the present moment.” ‒ Pia Antico
Pia Antico is the Founder of Essential Awakening Mentoring, a Crone Life Joy Reboot Mentor/Coach/Trainer, International Public Speaker & Best Selling Author.
She intuitively helps single, empty nester, businesswomen over 40 ditch their regrets, live unapologetically, age disgracefully & quit being an unwilling bystanders in their lives. Without getting stuck rehashing, analyzing & reframing trauma stories.
Embodying her unique 6 steps AWAKEN the joy within©️ framework helps them to free themselves from limiting beliefs & create lives of fun through trusting the guidance of their carefree Higher Self Wisdom.
Pia holds three degrees in Psychology, Counseling Training, and Certification in the 3 Principles Paradigm & she brings into coaching a wealth of insights gained from a litany of growth experiences.
At 49, she is a 'three near deaths before 30, two abusive marriages, & major head injury life rebuilder' whose mission is to help single, empty nester businesswomen over 40 to effortlessly get past their darkest moments by tapping into their innate well-being.
So that they can shine the light of their radiant, joyful wisdom & step into their dreamed-of future.
Pia wants single empty nester women over 40 to know in their bones that their past doesn't predict their future & now is the time to dream big.
