Why ‘Feeling Overwhelmed’ Is A Complex Problem To Overcome
Updated: Apr 20, 2023
Written by: Emma Collyer, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
One of the most common issues I hear from leaders that I speak with, is the overwhelm they feel in trying to deal with multiple issues at work and at home. It is too much. The headspace is not available, and they end up spinning as they battle with actions, decisions and where to focus effort next. But it is not always clear how this can be addressed or why it is so hard to overcome. In this article I have been reflecting on the contributing factors to feelings of ‘overwhelm’ and what the root causes may be.
When I first discuss these challenges with clients, frequently, the volume of work is excessive, but the tasks are manageable. A cycle then builds of frustration from undertaking the same things repeatedly, leading to procrastination from disinterest in the task, and then work building up.
Conversely for some, the tasks may be difficult to do, so they put them off and fill their time with other, less challenging items, so the overwhelm builds differently as the big jobs do not go away.
Or they may feel comfortable with the type of work coming in and volume, but they allow (and enjoy) distractions from others, pulling them away from the time they need to spend focusing on getting things done.
Whatever the reason, it can be exhausting and lead to anxiety from both the pressure to deliver work and to be available for out-of-work commitments.
What occurs to me, is that often this is not a new issue for the individual. They have usually tried lots of different approaches in the past such as time management tools, calendar scheduling and planners. They may have been partially successful but the overwhelm has not reduced. Something else is preventing the individuals from tackling the issue fully.
I have observed that these frequently come down to a few common themes:
Perfectionism – wanting to do everything themselves and ensuring it is perfect, ensures they always have a high unattainable workload. Demonstrating how ‘great’ their work is and how valuable they are to the organization. Trying to do less than ‘perfect’ work is unthinkable and so they continue with the excessive workload.
Self-worth – (often connected to perfectionism) having so much work to do reinforces their importance in their role and organization so there is no incentive to reduce it.
Control – wanting to oversee everything and be in the weeds, (where it is familiar) when they should be taking a helicopter view and moderate their input to match. *Frequently this shows up with individuals that have moved into a more senior leadership role.
Not wanting to ask for help – they are not used to requesting support, as they may perceive it as ‘failing;’ handing off tasks onto valued colleagues or being perceived as ‘special’ ahead of others by needing support, is uncomfortable for them.
The good news is you can learn and practice asking for help… but for the other themes, it is much harder to address as they are often ingrained parts of our personalities and have served us well up until now.
The first step in dealing with the overwhelm therefore becomes the understanding and self-awareness around the underlying issue before you attempt to tackle the ‘outcome’ of overwhelm.
Realizing you may be self-sabotaging your attempts to reduce the overwhelm can be a tough message to hear. The question at this point, comes down to ‘can you, and do you want to live with it, the way it is?’
While most would say that they do not want to live with it, a deeper question of ‘do you really want to address your personal qualities that are contributing to the overwhelm?’ helps to unpick a client’s real interest in making changes.
For some individuals, this is a step too far, and so the status quo remains. For others, the pain of feeling overwhelmed has become so severe that the desire to act is the priority.
This is a trade-off thought process. ‘Will the long-term benefits of making the changes be more beneficial than the short-term pain of investing time and energy into changing yourself?’
Once you know the answer to this question, either action or inaction will follow.
If this article resonated with you, and you would like some support in dealing with feeling overwhelmed, please schedule a free confidential call, I would love to see if I can help.
Emma Collyer, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Emma Collyer is the founder of Aspire Executive Coaching, a company dedicated to helping executives, leaders and aspiring leaders, to grow and succeed in their business and careers. She created the business after experiencing firsthand the transformative power of coaching on her own development and growth. Her coaching draws on her own leadership experience, working across the built environment sector alongside environmental specialists, engineers, planners, project managers and architects. Her mission: to empower individuals so that they have the courage to embrace change and achieve exceptional results.
