Why Every Woman Needs a Prenup – The Modern Woman’s Secret to Protecting Her Peace, and Her Paycheck
- Brainz Magazine
- Oct 21
- 6 min read
Carlie Spencer is a family law attorney and founder of Strive Law Firm, where she helps clients navigate prenups, divorce, and beyond. Known as The Prenup Girl, she authored The Prenup Girl’s Guide to a Successful Marriage, offering a fun yet practical approach to financial planning before marriage.
Once upon a time, the word "prenup" invoked images of celebrities dividing their private yachts and Parisian penthouses after a messy split. But it is now 2025. Women have evolved, and so have prenups.
Today’s modern woman is not sitting quietly at the intersection of love and law. She is standing tall with a freshly brewed coffee in one hand, a career in the other, and a firm understanding that protecting her future is not just smart, it is self-respect.
The prenup is not just about money and the rich staying rich. It is about freedom, clarity, and peace of mind. And if you are a woman who has worked hard to build her career, her brand, and her confidence, this one is for you.
The old narrative was wrong
For decades, women were told that having a prenup meant you were planning for divorce. “Don’t you trust each other?” they would say, as if trust and contracts could not coexist. Ironic, because we sign contracts for literally everything else in life. We sign employment contracts, lease agreements, and even terms and conditions for our Spotify and Netflix subscriptions. But when it comes to our entire financial future, suddenly it is unromantic and unnecessary? Please.
The truth is, a prenup does not mean you are planning for a divorce. It means you are creating a plan to protect your marriage. It forces the kind of honest, sometimes uncomfortable financial conversations that most couples skip until it is too late. It replaces assumptions with agreements. And it ensures both partners walk into marriage as equals, not with one financially leaning on the other’s good faith and good credit.
If the worst happens and you do go through a divorce, it is important to remember that the person you married is not the person you are divorcing. So, if you have to choose one of those people to negotiate and contract with, always negotiate with the person you are marrying, while conversations are calm and no one is hurt or angry. Do not wait to try to negotiate with the person you are divorcing.
Women have more to lose (and more to protect)
Women are starting businesses, buying homes, and outpacing men in college degrees. Yet, when it comes to marriage, many still merge everything, bank accounts, debt, even retirement plans, without realizing how deeply those choices are governed by state law.
In North Carolina (and most states), marriage is a financial partnership by default. Without a prenup, the law writes your financial story for you. Spoiler alert, it is not always a story that favors the woman who built her own success. If nobody has ever told you this, let me, The Prenup Girl, be the first, if you do not write your own prenup with your spouse, you still have a prenup. Your prenup is whatever your state laws are for divorce. So, wouldn’t you rather write your prenup yourself instead of defaulting to what the government wrote?
If you have spent years climbing the corporate ladder, paying off student loans, or growing a business, you have invested in your independence. Why hand over the rights to that investment to a legal system that was designed decades ago?
A prenup gives you control over how assets, debts, and even future income are divided before emotions or circumstances complicate things. It is not about mistrust. It is most definitely about having agency over your own life and finances.
The emotional side: Protecting your peace
Money stress is one of the top causes of marital conflict. And as I tell my clients, you cannot build a happy marriage on unspoken resentment and unpaid credit card bills.
A prenup brings everything to the surface, income, spending habits, financial goals, fears, and expectations. It is not a one-sided “protection” document. It is a mirror that reflects how two people view money, fairness, and the future.
When couples work through these topics early, they are building emotional intimacy, not breaking it. They are saying:
“I respect you enough to be honest.”
“I love you enough to plan ahead.”
“I trust us enough to write it down.”
And there is nothing unromantic about that.
The financial side: Protecting your paycheck
Here is the thing no one wants to say out loud, women are still disproportionately impacted by marriage and divorce.
When women take time off for caregiving or make career sacrifices for their spouse’s opportunities, they often lose earning potential that is never fully recovered. At the same time, more women than ever are entering marriages with more assets, higher salaries, equity in businesses, or investment portfolios they built themselves.
A prenup ensures that what you worked for remains yours and that any decisions to share or support are intentional, not automatic. It can address:
Ownership of pre-marital property or businesses
Student loans and existing debts
Savings and retirement accounts
Future inheritances or family gifts
Spousal support terms
It is not about predicting failure. It is about planning for fairness.
The modern marriage: Love meets logic
The most confident, connected couples I see are not the ones who avoid tough topics. They are the ones who face them head-on.
A prenup can actually make your relationship stronger because it sets expectations clearly from the start. Think of it as a roadmap, not for divorce, but for decision-making. How will we handle finances? Whose name will be on the mortgage? What happens if one of us takes time off work to raise kids?
When those questions have answers, love can breathe. Because clarity creates calm.
The feminist reframe
Let us be real, the old notion that prenups are “for men with money” is laughably outdated.
The prenup is now a feminist tool. It is how women say, “I value myself and my work.” It is how we preserve financial autonomy inside marriage and how we model equality in relationships.
Getting a prenup does not mean you expect to fail. It means you expect to thrive, and you are protecting the version of yourself who worked too hard to end up powerless in the fine print.
So no, it is not just for millionaires or moguls. It is for the teacher, the entrepreneur, the nurse, the CEO, and the artist, for every woman who knows her worth and wants her marriage to reflect it.
Love with your eyes wide open
Marriage can be the most beautiful partnership of your life, but it should never require you to give up your independence.
A prenup is not a barrier between you and your spouse. It is a bridge between love and logic, a way to protect what you have built, plan for what is next, and walk into marriage not as someone’s dependent but as their equal.
Because the modern woman does not wait for life to happen to her. She plans it, she protects it, and she signs it with confidence and a killer pen.
If you are interested in a deeper dive into prenups and the options they provide, please feel free to check out The Prenup Girl’s Guide to a Successful Marriage.
Read more from Carlie Spencer
Carlie Spencer, Law Attorney, Author & Advocate
Dedicated to empowering individuals with the knowledge to make confident legal and financial decisions, Carlie has built a career at the intersection of family law and education. As the founder of Strive Law Firm, she provides personalized legal solutions for individuals facing major life transitions, from prenuptial agreements to divorce settlements and litigation. Beyond her firm, Carlie is passionate about legal education and mentorship. She serves as a supervising attorney for Campbell Law School’s Pro Bono Family Law Clinic, where she guides law students in providing critical legal services to underserved communities. Through this work, she is helping shape the next generation of family law attorneys while expanding access to justice.
