Who Are You Judging, And How Is It Working For You?
- Feb 8, 2024
- 4 min read
Updated: Feb 9, 2024
Written by: Bronwen Sciortino, Senior Level Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Judgement is nothing more than a distraction to keep us from having to look at the things we need to work on within ourselves.
I remember the jolt I felt when I first realized the truth of these words. The clarity of that moment changed the way I looked at everything from that moment on.
It’s so easy to look at a situation and decide for yourself what is going on – for the people involved, the outcomes that arise and the prospects that the future will therefore bring.
But the truth is this: unless we know every single piece of information relating to every person and every circumstance that came together to create the situation – and every last iota of information that relates to it – you can’t possibly create any judgement that will be based on truth.
If we don’t have all of these pieces of information – and let’s face it, it is next to impossible for anyone to ever have them all – then any judgement we make is nothing more than an opinion.
But why do we need to judge anyway?
What is it about judgement that makes us feel like we want to keep coming back for more?
Most of us are really uncomfortable with the thought that others might be judging us… so why are we so comfortable in judging others?
What it is about the judging process that makes it so easy for us to look at a given situation and declare that “this, and this, and this” are the reasons that something has happened, and then go further to then decree whether it is right or wrong?
Is it because we crave the power we feel when we sit in judgement of others? Or perhaps it’s a need to belong that sees us gossip with others. Maybe it’s just that we don’t want to look at ourselves, because we know that might lead to having to do ‘the work’ that will allow us to heal from the inside – and that just feels too hard.
The real question that needs to be answered
Ultimately, what does sitting in judgement actually achieve? What benefit does it bring into the lives of those who do the judging? Because it rarely brings anything but grief into the lives of those who are being judged.
It can be unkind, unforgiving and unrelenting in so many different ways, and that kind of energy rarely brings either the judger or the judgee anything that boosts their lives. In fact, most often it leaves all parties feeling pretty horrible. So why do we persist with it in our lives?
Maybe it all comes down to habits. We’re in the habit of making judgements, so we do it without thinking. We watched others around us automatically judge as we grew up, and so that became ‘situation normal’ for us as well.
Maybe we were taught to judge others as a way to gauge where we are at in our lives in comparison.
Either way, once we know that judging others is really just a distraction that keeps us from fully living our own lives, we naturally see things another way.
So, how do we break the circuit?
It all comes down to getting very deliberate about noticing when judgement opportunities arise.
When we go out of our way to become conscious about when we are judging others, then instead of jumping immediately to judge and add our opinion, we could simply ask a question that breaks the circuit.
We could ask questions like:
is this situation any of my business?’
is what I am seeing or experiencing right now of any importance to me?’
if kindness was the most important thing right now, what could I say to these people in this situation?’
how can I overlay compassion for these people for the situation I am seeing in front of me?’
Another great way to break the habit is to step into a place of curiosity about what you experience, see and hear. By doing this, you create a space where you can simply view what is happening around you and see it as interesting, rather than labelling it in any way.
From this space it is much simpler to look at a situation and decide whether what you are seeing is something that you might like to try for yourself, or something that isn’t aligned with who you are.
Ultimately, by removing yourself from the judgement cycle you’ll free yourself from any power that judging others – and also being judged by others – may have held in your life. From my own experience, I know that the energy and freedom that you’ll create by dropping the judgement is worthwhile all on its own.
Bronwen Sciortino is a Simplicity Expert, Professional Speaker and an internationally renowned author. You can follow her at her website; Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn.
Bronwen Sciortino, Senior Level Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Bronwen Sciortino is an International Author and Simplicity Expert who spent almost two decades as an award-winning executive before experiencing a life changing event that forced her to stop and ask the question ‘What if there’s a better way to live?’
Embarking on a journey to answer this question, Bronwen developed a whole new way of living – one that teaches you to challenge the status quo and include the power of questions in everyday life.
Gaining international critical acclaim and 5-star awards for her books and online programs, Bronwen spends every day teaching people that there is an easy, practical and simple pathway to creating a healthy, happy AND highly successful life.
Sourced globally for media comment as an expert and working with corporate programs, conference platforms, retreats, professional mentoring and in the online environment, Bronwen teaches people how easy it is to live life very differently.
