When Pushing Harder Gets You Nowhere But Frustrated Sometimes You Just Have To Surrender
- Brainz Magazine
- Jul 20, 2021
- 5 min read
Written by: Elena Herrera, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
There are certain stages in my life when I say to myself, “I don't know what to do.” “I'm in a rut.” “I feel stuck.”
I feel purposeless and unproductive. I have no obvious direction to follow. I don’t feel inspired to do anything. Nothing comes to mind; I just go blank. No matter how hard I try to create some kind of action, nothing comes out of it.
Do you also feel stuck at times?
I bet you do.
It happens to all of us.
We long for something new and exciting, and yet we struggle to create the desired results.
While there can be a variety of life circumstances that make us feel stuck, today, I want to talk about times when no matter what actions we take, we don't seem to get the outcomes we want, such as career advancements, rewarding relationships, or financial gains. I am talking about situations when you truly took all the necessary steps to make things happen for yourself.
You started practicing new modalities to create a lasting change.
You hired a life coach/therapist to help you identify and resolve your internal blocks.
You signed up for a transformational program to help you create new perspectives and opportunities.
You learned all the details, invest in personal/professional development, and put yourself out there.
And yet, with all your determination and actions, nothing much changed on the outside. You were still where you were before – still stuck!
It is like you are invisible in your efforts. You’re trying to break through, but end up hitting a wall over and over again. This only leaves you feeling unimportant, paralyzed, jaded, hopeless, and doubtful about your future.
Well, I hear you.
I’ve been in a stuck period many times in my life. The difference this time around is that I struggle less now because I’m beginning to let my stuckness be.
See, the problem is that most people try to “fix” the stagnation by forcing themselves to push for more – more work, more ideas, more goals, more action plans! They try to do whatever it takes to make things happen because they refuse to accept that stagnation is a natural part of the life process. As a result, they find themselves even more impatient, frustrated, and exhausted.
Why are we so resistant to being stuck?
One big reason is the fear that our dreams won’t come true. We have all these desires and visions, and if we are stuck, none of it will happen, and therefore, we won't be happy. That's where we keep pushing and pushing and pushing for more in order to manipulate the outcome. We want to make sure life turns out the way we want it. It is the sense of control (or I should say the illusion of control) that gives us a perception of safety and security.
But in the end, it doesn't work. Some things in life are just meant to manifest on the timeline when they are meant to happen.
The truth is, the more you try to get out of stuckness, the deeper you dig yourself in it. The more you focus on the absence of what you want, the more struggle you create for yourself.
So, what is the solution to being stuck in life?
Letting it be!
When you find yourself doing and doing and doing, stop.
Pull back, surrender to what is, and reflect. Accept the fact that no matter what you do right now, it won’t produce the desired outcome.
When you relax and surrender to this quiet period in your life, you will find a deeper truth and a bigger purpose. When you finally let go and see that you can’t control life, you will be more open to noticing what life brings to you.
There are many reasons why you might feel stuck:
maybe the timing is not there yet
maybe you are not in alignment with your desire
maybe you are not ready for your manifestation yet
maybe you are bumping against your own internal blocks that need to be worked through on a deeper level
Whatever the reasons are, you will find out later when you reflect back and see why this period of stagnation was given to you. But for now, connect to where you feel stuck using the following methods:
1. Surrender
Don’t act. Just let go – no matter how hard your mind wants to do the opposite. Usually, when you feel stuck, you end up judging yourself for it, feeling unproductive, unsuccessful, undeserving, not good enough, etc. But if you stay completely in this moment, there is no being stuck; you are still moving forward. This is a great space to see where your identity is tied up. Do you feel worthy when you are not acting, performing, achieving, etc? There is always a reason and a deeper truth to everything.
2. Reflect
Use this time efficiently by going within. Contemplate all the triggers that come up for you. What do you need to learn or change? Do you still feel worthy, or do you only feel worthy when you are performing or achieving? Keep stirring your pot and doing this inner work until things shift for you. When you consistently show up for yourself, progress will follow.
3. Trust
Whether you feel stuck for a week or a year doesn’t really matter. You do the best you can with what you have. Life isn’t all about accomplishing things. At times it’s about resting and letting things be and trusting that everything happens for a reason. I personally believe in divine timing and aligned manifestations. Even though sometimes every day feels like Groundhog Day, I know that there is so much going on behind the scenes.
So, once you let be what is, things will change because your perception changes. Be kind to yourself. Let yourself be completely stuck. This period is not about doing more. It is about surrendering and practicing patience. It is about allowing yourself to come into alignment with your inner truths so you can be more accepting and open.
Just know that the Universe is always working in your favor and will provide when the time is right. It is all good!
Elena Herrera, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
My personal story of transformation took my life from “unconscious” to “connected and meaningful.” Applying the same tools and modalities I teach today, plus my gift of intuition, I grew from a personal trainer to a full-blown Intuitive Transformational Coach who helps dozens of people to live a life of self-awareness, radiance, and fulfillment.
