When Insecurity Drives Destruction And How To Recognize The Toxic Cycle Of Narcissistic Behavior
- Brainz Magazine
- Jun 17
- 4 min read
Avishai is an internationally known psychic and holistic health coach. She has helped many people heal from a variety of ailments, is the author of the book "I Made It Out", published in 2021, and the host of the Avi Unfiltered podcast.
In relationships, especially those entangled with narcissistic men, insecurity often masquerades as control and manipulation. For these men, women who exude confidence, independence, or simply don’t conform to their expectations become threats to their fragile egos. Instead of confronting their own insecurities, some narcissistic men resort to hurtful tactics, such as dating or having sex with ex-friends, ex-relatives, ex-associates, or others close to their partners, as a calculated attempt to provoke jealousy, gain power, and assert dominance.
This toxic behavior is often hidden beneath layers of charm and deceit, but its impact is profound. Lies, gossip, and slander frequently follow, aimed at isolating their partner and damaging reputations. Understanding this dynamic is essential, not just to recognize the patterns, but to break free from the cycle and reclaim your power through holistic, spiritual, self-care, and lawful approaches.
The insecurity behind the control
At the core of this manipulative behavior is deep insecurity. Narcissistic men often struggle to see women as equals or partners. Instead, they view them as extensions of their own self-worth. When a woman’s confidence shines, it challenges their narrative and threatens their control. Rather than addressing their fears through healthy communication or self-reflection, they seek to destabilize their partner’s world by targeting relationships from the past, whether it’s old friends, family members, or colleagues.
Dating or engaging intimately with these “exes” is less about genuine connection and more about provoking a reaction. It’s a power play designed to make their partner feel vulnerable, jealous, and unsure. This tactic can fracture trust and lead to emotional turmoil, often accompanied by lies or rumors that distort reality.
The ripple effects of lies, gossip, and slander
The fallout from these actions extends beyond the immediate relationship. Lies and gossip become weapons, spread to mutual friends, family, or even professional circles. Slander damages reputations, creating a web of mistrust that is difficult to unravel. This toxic environment can leave victims feeling isolated, doubting themselves, and struggling to maintain their sense of identity.
Moreover, the emotional toll can manifest as anxiety, depression, and a loss of confidence. Healing requires more than just stepping away, it demands a comprehensive approach that restores both mind and spirit.
Holistic healing: Taking your power back
Breaking free from this toxic cycle starts with caring for your whole self – mind, body, and soul.
Mental clarity: Therapy or counseling can help unpack the trauma, validate your experience, and rebuild your self-esteem.
Physical wellness: Trauma affects the body as much as the mind. Regular exercise, balanced nutrition, and restorative sleep are foundational to reclaiming strength and resilience.
Emotional expression: Journaling, creative arts, or support groups provide safe outlets to process emotions without judgment.
When you nurture yourself holistically, you create an unshakable foundation that no external chaos can topple.
Spiritual tools for grounding and protection
Spiritual practices offer another layer of healing and empowerment:
Meditation and mindfulness: These help anchor you in the present, reducing anxiety about the past or future. They foster self-awareness, allowing you to recognize manipulative patterns without internalizing them.
Energy clearing: Say a prayer, light candles with intention, or working with crystals can cleanse negative energy and restore balance.
Affirmations and mantras: Repeating phrases like “I am whole,” “I release what no longer serves me,” or “I reclaim my power” can rebuild your inner strength.
Spirituality reconnects you to your core, reminding you that your worth is inherent, not dependent on another’s validation or deception.
Lawful measures: Protecting your rights and reputation
In some cases, toxic behavior crosses legal boundaries, whether through defamation, harassment, or invasion of privacy. Knowing your rights and taking lawful action is not only practical but empowering.
Document everything: Keep records of harmful communications, social media posts, and any evidence of harassment.
Seek legal advice: Consult with a lawyer about restraining orders, cease and desist letters, or defamation claims if necessary.
Utilize support services: Many communities offer resources for emotional abuse survivors, including legal advocacy and counseling.
Taking lawful steps is about protecting yourself and sending a clear message that manipulation and slander have consequences.
Moving forward: Building a healthy future
Healing from a relationship shadowed by narcissistic insecurity and toxic tactics isn’t easy. But it is possible. By integrating holistic health, spiritual practices, self-care, and legal empowerment, you create a comprehensive shield against future harm.
Surround yourself with trusted allies, practice daily self-compassion, and remember: your value is not determined by someone else’s insecurity or destructive choices.
True strength comes from rising with integrity, clarity, and peace and that’s a success no toxic behavior can ever take away.
If you’re navigating this difficult terrain, consider reaching out for support. Whether through coaching, legal consultation, or spiritual guidance, help is available and you don’t have to do it alone.
Visit my website for more info!
Read more from Avishai El
Avishai El, Psychic Medium & Certified Holistic Health Coach
Avishai is a leading expert in the field of neuroscience, holistic health, and trauma healing. Before she discovered the power of nutrition her health declined tremendously. Due to several vaccinations and poor nutrition she struggled with various ailments. She has had endometriosis, diabetes, cancer, liver damage, kidney failure, ataxia. Avishai is no stranger to trauma as she is a survivor of sexual abuse and assault, domestic abuse, burns, car accident, and a traumatic brain injury. She has online programs that help her clients overcome health problems and traumatic experiences. Her mission: Heal it all.
