Whatever Happened to Hello?
Written by Belle Gayer, Author
Belle Gayer is a relationship advisor and author of Are Relationships For Suckers?, with 2 Global Book Awards, 5-star reviews, and a feature in November 2026's Kirkus Review Magazine. Married 54 years to her beloved, sharing insights on Quora for seven years to over 35 million views.
I love my garden, and I work outside, growing only edibles–fruits, veggies, herbs, and greens–from March through November, when it gets too cold. I have lived in my current home for 30 years. It’s a corner townhouse abutting a dead-end street, but we get a lot of people who have a walk-through easement from the apartment development behind us, so there’s usually a bit of foot traffic.
Maintaining my garden takes up a lot of time, so at the height of the season, I am outside three to five hours a day. Much of that time, I work beside the small side strip of land next to my house, and I see lots of people coming and going through the easement entrance of that apartment complex.
It used to be that people would at least say hello, sometimes comment on the garden, or ask about something growing.
No more. These days, people stride silently by, most of them either attached to their phones, talking to the air through their earbuds, or perhaps just preoccupied.
No one stops anymore. No one says hello unless I say it first, and then not always. It saddens me greatly, but even more so when I extend this observation to the rest of my life, when walking in the street or standing in an elevator breeds silent loneliness. No one smiles, and conversation, at least in elevators, even between compatriots, ceases.
I don’t know the official name for it, but I call it “Societal Disconnection.” It’s an epidemic, an ugly epidemic. People don’t talk to their neighbors unless they have children in common.
How did we get here? More importantly, how do we get more connection back? I see our arrival as a result of our internet addiction. The internet is a blessing and a curse.
Yes, a blessing and a curse. The blessing, as we all know, is that the internet is an information highway, with so many available diversions, so much information, and so many things to do, places to visit, and things to see.
Yet it was created to be addictive! They have succeeded beyond their wildest dreams! That, dear hearts, is the curse.
People are not only disconnecting from each other, though. They are dropping religious affiliations by the boatload and finding themselves lonelier than ever before.
Sure, people have more personal time than ever, what with all our modern conveniences, but what do they do with that time?
Human connection is an essential human need, yet we neglect it and wonder why there is so much unhappiness all around us.
So the question is, how do we fix this travesty? Sorry, I don’t have any answers to this question, except to say that, as an individual, I try to go out of my way not to be this way.
I say hello or have a nice day to people I pass, often to people in elevators, to make the world a kinder, happier place. I appreciate salespeople, and I share advice, insights, and practical wisdom for all on Quora.com. I believe in Tikkun Olam, the Jewish imperative to repair the world and leave it a better place when we are here, extending that imperative to the time when we are long gone and leaving a legacy.
I cannot change the behavior of others. I can only control my own actions and reactions. I only wish I could.
What happened to hello? Is it outdated? Have we chosen isolation instead of connection, immersing ourselves in the glory and adoration of AI? Someone told me on Quora, “My AI treats me better than my wife.” That horrified me, but it’s true. AI is even more addictive than the general internet. It kisses your butt gently, in a positive way, leading you to want more contact with it. It doesn’t have to put up with toilet seats that haven’t been put back down, complaints, or any family issues, for that matter.
Can we get it back? I don’t believe we can, but perhaps we can help people better understand the importance of connection. It’s one of the reasons I wrote my book, “Are Relationships for Suckers?”
Of course, the book, which has won accolades and five-star reviews, is more about the intimate side of this disconnection. But perhaps more people could take on the mantle of savior of the non-internet human race without waiting for a messiah. More people could champion real, in-person human connection, not just me. Will you help me?
Read more from Belle Gayer
Belle Gayer, Author
Belle Gayer challenges the accepted view of how love works. In her view, it doesn't work that way! Her 54-year marriage and 7 years of sharing insights and practical wisdom on Quora inspired her book "Are Relationships For Suckers?" which has won Global Book Awards, amassed 5-star reviews from readers and professional reviewers alike, and a feature in November 2026's issue of Kirkus Review Magazine. At 75, she has dedicated her life to helping people find more happiness in their own lives.
