What Women Over 35 Actually Need to Know About Their Pelvic Floor
Malak Byrnes is a Women’s Strength Coach who helps overwhelmed women break out of burnout and feel strong again. Her approach blends movement, mindset, and nervous-system support to create real, lasting change.
There is something I hear over and over again from women. “I’ve been told to do kegels, but I’m not sure they’re working.” Or worse, “I’ve been doing them for years, and nothing has changed.” If you’re a woman over 35, a mom, or someone who has experienced leaking, lower back pain, or discomfort in your body, you’ve likely been given the same advice, “Just do more kegels.” But here’s the truth most women are never told, your pelvic floor is not just about tightening, and kegels alone are often not the solution.
The missing piece in women’s health
We are finally starting to talk about women’s health more openly. Hormones, strength training, nutrition, perimenopause, and yet, one of the most important systems in the body is still misunderstood, the pelvic floor. Not because it’s complicated, but because it’s often taught in isolation.
Your pelvic floor is not just one muscle
Let’s simplify it. Your pelvic floor is a group of muscles sitting at the base of your pelvis. It supports your bladder, uterus, and bowels, but more importantly, it is part of a pressure system in your body. It works together with your diaphragm, your deep core, and your back muscles. This means your pelvic floor does not work alone, it responds to how you breathe and how you move.
Why kegels don’t always work
Kegels train one thing, contraction. But your pelvic floor needs to do two things, contract and relax. Many women I work with don’t actually have a weak pelvic floor. They have a tight, overworked pelvic floor, and when you keep adding more contraction, more kegels, to an already tight system, you can make symptoms worse.
But I only leak when I jump
This is one of the most common things I hear. Leaking when you cough, jump, or run is not just about strength, it’s about pressure management. Every time you sneeze, lift your child, or do a workout, your body has to manage internal pressure. If that pressure is not coordinated properly with your breath and pelvic floor, it has to go somewhere, and often that shows up as leaking, heaviness, discomfort, or lower back pain.
The breath-pelvic floor connection
This is where everything changes. When you inhale, your diaphragm moves down and your pelvic floor gently lengthens. When you exhale, your diaphragm lifts and your pelvic floor recoils. This is a natural rhythm your body is designed to follow. But many of us hold our breath, brace constantly, suck in our stomach, and push down without realizing it. Over time, this disrupts the system.
It’s not about doing more, it’s about doing differently
Most women don’t need more exercises, more intensity, or more pressure. They need better awareness, better coordination, and a better connection to their body.
What you can start doing today
You don’t need to overhaul your life. Start here.
Breathe properly: instead of shallow chest breathing, allow your ribcage and belly to expand.
Stop constantly holding in: Your core is not meant to be braced all day.
Exhale on effort: When you lift, push, or stand up, exhale.
Slow down your movements: Your body learns through control, not speed.
The real shift women need
The biggest shift is this, your body is not broken. It has adapted to stress, to habits, and to how you’ve been moving for years. And it can relearn.
Final thought
If there’s one thing I want women to take away, it’s this, your pelvic floor is not something to fix, it’s something to understand. Once you understand it, you move differently, you train differently, and you feel different in your body.
Read more from Malak Byrnes
Malak Byrnes, Online Women's Health & Fitness Coach
Malak Byrnes is a Women’s Strength & Lifestyle Coach specializing in helping overwhelmed women 35-45 rebuild their energy, their confidence, and their nervous system through simple, sustainable habits. She blends Pilates, yoga, strength training, trauma-informed coaching, and realistic nutrition to guide women back to feeling strong again inside and out.
