Understanding Fredenfreude and the Impact of Deficiencies in Empathy and Joy for Others
Written by Sheryl Maharaj, People & Purpose Consultant
Specialising in multifaceted workplace dynamics and interpersonal relationships, with a unique focus on patterns recognition for transformative change. Sheryl integrates her love for universal principles and science-based methodology in human development for meaningful results.
Feeling joy or pleasure from others' misfortune? The tendency to take pleasure in others' misfortune is the opposite of Freudenfreude. When someone is suffering, and we feel joy, it not only reflects counter-empathy but also activates the brain's reward and feel-good regions. It’s not the same as holding someone accountable for their actions and feeling relieved and grateful for unethical, hurtful, and unjust behaviour. The opposite of Freudenfreude will make you feel shame and guilt, especially if deriving pleasure from the misfortune of others. If someone responds to accountability with shame, it does not mean we have shamed them by holding them accountable for their actions.
What is Fredenfreude?
Sharing joy and empathy in celebrating another person is at the heart of Fredenfreude. We ask questions, celebrate their effort, show interest, and learn from their actions. It allows a person to respond with gratitude to the shared joy. Deficiencies in Fredenfreude, derived from the pleasure in others' misfortune, either intentionally or not, are at the other end of shared joy and empathy.
Relief from insecurity
We continue any behaviour that feels good and relieves us momentarily, regardless of the consequences, deficiencies, and reasons. Others' misfortune validates our situation and boosts our self-worth, helping us cope with the challenges we face. As a form of superiority that offers only momentary relief, it shuns reality. Measuring self-worth against someone else's misfortune or perceiving others as worse off signals insecurity. We may experience a form of schadenfreude, in which a lack of empathy allows us to take pleasure without guilt. How do you feel and react to others' misfortune?
The eeky side of human nature
In defence of human nature, we can take delight in schadenfreude, a behaviour deriving pleasure from others' misfortune, not only directed towards rivals or others we may not associate with. It can also strengthen social bonds and provide meaning in connection and community.
The inclusive nature of schadenfreude and the feel-good rewards activated in parts of the brain by its behaviour make it challenging to resist.
Active engagement
What do you wish to be remembered for? Another's misfortune and a celebration prompt a reaction. In these instances, the brain's reward system can be activated, delivering a rush of pleasure that distracts us from our circumstances. Essentially, this response can temporarily alleviate feelings of inadequacy, leading us to unintentionally revel in others' misfortunes without considering the implications for our values and relationships. This relief is short-lived, as shame and guilt set in without active engagement and awareness of our reactions.
Celebrating others
If we experience a sense of well-being and pleasure in celebrating others, as in Fredenfreude, why choose its opposite? The answer lies in the overarching health of the individual's mind, body, spirit, and soul. Just as with many unethical, hurtful, and unjust behaviours, it may simply not be possible for the individual to engage in behaviour that reflects Fredenfreude.
Schadenfreude is the experience of pleasure, joy, or self-satisfaction derived from learning of or witnessing the troubles, failures, or humiliation of another in the absence of empathy. In practice, Fredenfreude is the healthy counterpart to schadenfreude. Both achieve the feel-good, power, and certainty we desire, but one is short-lived and cannot sustain overall well-being or a deeper connection.
The deficiencies in Fredenfreude stem from its detrimental effects on mental health, interpersonal relationships, and societal bonds. Recognising these shortcomings can encourage more positive emotional responses, for empathy, understanding, and growth.
Read more from Sheryl Maharaj
Sheryl Maharaj, People & Purpose Consultant
Sheryl Maharaj is well-recognised globally as a Relationship Consultant and Founder of Nourish. Her services aim to bring awareness to the forefront for individuals, teams, and organisations with pragmatic tools for moving through conflict, breaking patterns, creating connection, mastering effective communication and decision-making, and maintaining sustainable change. She has a background in human development, conflict resolution, polyvagal/nervous system integration and transformative change.
