The 'Missing Element' In Self-Work – Exclusive Interview With Ania Osiecka
Ania is a professional, certified coach known for her creative and holistic approach. She is the author of a program called "Missing Element," which allows us to discover, understand, and ultimately overcome what stands in the way of our desired tangible results.She mainly works with individuals who, despite many years of self-work, still do not experience tangible changes in their lives. Based in Warsaw, but working remotely with clients around the world.
Ania Osiecka, Certified Coach
You’ve named your program and book club "The Missing Element." Can you tell me more about what that means?
Of course! I like structure, and after years of work, I’ve noticed that many people who come to me already have self-awareness, sometimes after years of therapy, but they feel like they don’t know what to do with all that knowledge. They also despite their awareness and calmness, still don’t have what they desire most in their lives. They continue to react the same way in stressful situations and they wonder what’s missing that prevents them from having what they desire in life. The cause usually lies in three areas that I have named the missing element."
What are the three areas?
The first is a lack of connection with your authentic self. This may sound serious, but it’s about making personal growth not just about setting goals and checking them off, but understanding what truly matters to you—what is genuinely yours and not imposed by family, society, or your own fears. I often meet people who have many goals on their list, but either don’t care about them or don’t pursue them because they lack motivation. The second is understanding your conscious and unconscious blocks by actively observing your habits and behaviors in the present, not just analyzing the past.The third involves working on the real source of our blocks through a "bottom-up" approach—focusing not just on analysis (talk therapy) but also on addressing the blocks stored in our bodies and subconscious memory.
What makes your approach unique?
My “Missing Element “program is based on both top-down and bottom-up approaches. During sessions, I work on the mind, the subconscious, and the body. Some call working with the subconscious "hypnosis," but I don’t use that term.
The top-down approach focuses on how the mind interprets information—thinking and analysis, intellectual understanding. The bottom-up approach focuses on the information stored in your body, encompassing all the sensations, feelings, and memories you experience before or after birth.
Can you tell me what your "missing element" was?
For me, it was not listening to myself—my body and my intuition, which have been strong since childhood. It was actually a lack of courage to follow what I "felt." Because of this, I made many wrong choices, and ironically, I knew I was making the wrong ones at the time. Even this year, I stopped developmental consultations with someone I always felt negatively about on a physical level, but they had such good reviews that I thought I was wrong. I decided to follow my own feelings, and it turned out to be a very good decision, which also led to meeting people who are better aligned with my value system without any hidden agenda.
Here's a tip for everyone: while we all have defense mechanisms, if you’ve felt for years—especially physically in your body—that something is off, just trust that feeling. In my case, to prioritize my feelings, I had to work through intergenerational patterns and karmic trauma—topics I’m still exploring professionally as I work with my clients. It’s very helpful, especially with people with symptoms resistant to traditional psychotherapy, like mine.
What advice would you give to someone reading this interview and looking for solutions?
Don’t turn self-work and personal development into a way of life. That’s one of the main pieces of advice I give my clients. Review your self-knowledge and think about what’s missing in your current approach. Don’t repeat something that has not been working for years.If you’re listening to podcasts or reading books, maybe it’s time to join group programs for more support and direction.If you’re attending workshops or group sessions, perhaps it’s time for one-on-one support. If you’ve been in therapy for years, consider switching to a "bottom-up" approach and working on the body/subconscious. Set specific, measurable goals and dedicate a maximum of 2–3 hours a week to them. Don’t let therapy discussions dominate your relationships, meetings with friends, or every moment of your free time. Allow yourself to find something authentic for you. Don’t look for magical solutions because they don’t exist. Accept your own pace and path. Find something that helps you connect with yourself a few times a week. It doesn’t have to be meditation or a gratitude journal. For me, it’s painting—early in the morning, around 6:00 AM, often with music, though the type of music can change; it can be country or classical, depending on my mood. Don’t wait for a miracle. It's important to understand that if your dream depends a lot on luck, then you’re in trouble. If it depends entirely on luck, you’re living in a fantasy.
Whatever stands in your way, trust me, it’s figurable. Sometimes, with help and guidance from others, you just need the courage to seek the best solutions for yourself. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.
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