The Mind’s Secret Addiction – Comfort
- Brainz Magazine
- Oct 21
- 5 min read
Simone Reinhardt is a Sydney-based Strategic Psychotherapist and Clinical Hypnotherapist, passionate about helping women overcome burnout, perfectionism, and self-doubt. Through her practice, she empowers clients to reconnect with their purpose, inner peace, and authentic self.
Discover why comfort can be a secret addiction. Learn how the mind resists change and keeps us stuck in familiar habits, from skipping the gym to unhealthy eating. Explore the psychology behind procrastination, the inner critic, and how small, compassionate changes can lead to lasting transformation. Find out how to create real change with gentleness, mindfulness, and self-compassion.
Why we keep the bad habits we do: understanding the mind’s resistance to change
We all know what we should be doing. Eat more greens, move our bodies, go to bed earlier, drink less, declutter, and breathe deeply.
And yet, despite knowing what’s good for us, we often don’t do it. We fall into the same familiar loops. Skipping the gym, eating takeout, staying up late scrolling, telling ourselves, “Tomorrow, I’ll start fresh.” But tomorrow often looks a lot like today.
So why do we keep the habits we know are holding us back? And how can we move toward a kinder, more balanced way of being without turning self-improvement into self-punishment?
1. The comfort in the familiar
Our brains are wired for comfort, not change. Habits, good or bad, offer predictability. They give our nervous system a sense of control and familiarity, even if they’re counterproductive.
Neuroscience tells us that habits form through repetition in the basal ganglia, a part of the brain that automates routines. Once a pattern is learned, the brain runs it like a well-rehearsed script, saving mental energy.
Breaking it means interrupting a neurological loop, and the brain resists that effort. As author Charles Duhigg writes in The Power of Habit:
“Once you understand that habits can change, you have the freedom, and the responsibility, to recreate them.”
Awareness alone isn’t enough. Knowing doesn’t equal doing, because logic isn’t what drives habit. It’s emotion, association, and reward.
2. The psychology behind “I’ll do better tomorrow”
When we promise ourselves we’ll do better “tomorrow,” it’s not just procrastination. It’s often self-protection.
Changing a habit means confronting discomfort. Exercise brings physical strain. Eating better means planning and resisting impulses. Decluttering can stir up guilt and decisions. The mind perceives change as a threat, and the inner critic, sometimes disguised as a motivator, can intensify that fear.
“We cannot hate ourselves into a version of ourselves we can love.” – Lori Deschene.
Our internal critic says, “You should have more discipline.” But discipline without compassion only breeds shame, and shame fuels the very behaviors we are trying to escape.
3. The inner critic and the myth of motivation
Many of us believe we must be ‘motivated’ before we act. But motivation isn’t a starting point, it’s a by-product of action. When we wait to feel ready, we stay stuck in inertia.
The inner critic whispers that we’re lazy, weak, or undisciplined. But more often, we’re just tired. Tired from constant stimulation, comparison, and unrealistic societal standards of productivity and perfection.
Our culture praises ‘hustle,’ but forgets that balance, rest, and self-compassion are the foundation of sustainable change. The truth is, we don’t need to be harder on ourselves. We need to be gentler.
“You don’t have to move mountains. Simply fall in love with the process of becoming the best version of yourself.”
When we soften our approach, we lower the nervous system’s resistance to change. Safety, not shame, is what allows growth.
4. Society’s demands vs. our own values
Many of our “shoulds” aren’t truly ours. They come from cultural expectations, how we’re supposed to look, live, and perform. But when goals come from external pressures rather than internal desire, they feel heavy, not inspiring.
Ask yourself:
Is this something I truly want, or something I think I should want?
Who am I trying to please?
What would balance look like if I defined it for myself?
When we realign goals with authentic values, habits shift from obligation to self-care. Eating better stops being about control. It becomes nourishment. Moving your body stops being punishment. It becomes freedom.
5. How to create real change, gently
Lasting change rarely comes from grand declarations. It comes from small, consistent, compassionate steps. Here’s how to begin:
Lower the bar, then raise it naturally: Start with one small, achievable change. A ten-minute walk, one glass of water before coffee, a tidy corner instead of a spotless house. The mind feels safe when the goal is small.
Pair new habits with existing ones: If you want to meditate, do it right after brushing your teeth. Habit stacking leverages existing neurological patterns, making the new behavior easier to remember.
Focus on identity, not outcome: Instead of saying, “I want to lose weight,” try saying, “I’m becoming someone who honors her body.” Change who you believe yourself to be, and the behavior will follow naturally.
Reframe the inner dialogue: When you catch your inner critic, pause and ask, “What would compassion say instead?” This transforms the internal voice from judge to ally.
Celebrate effort, not perfection: Perfectionism tells us that progress only counts when flawless. But balance is built on imperfection.
“Balance is not something you find, it’s something you create.” – Jana Kingsford.
Every small action of self-care is a vote for the person you’re becoming.
6. Understanding balance: The middle path
Balance isn’t a static destination. It’s an ongoing conversation with yourself. Some days, you’ll eat well, move your body, and feel centered. Other days, you’ll skip it all, and that’s okay.
Real balance comes from fluidity, the ability to return to yourself again and again, without shame.
“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.” – Eckhart Tolle
This applies equally to habits. Acknowledge what you are doing well, then build from there. Gratitude reinforces progress far more effectively than criticism ever could.
7. The takeaway: Awareness over perfection
At the heart of all habit change lies awareness. Awareness of what we do, why we do it, and how we speak to ourselves in the process.
When we see our patterns through a lens of curiosity rather than condemnation, transformation begins. The goal isn’t to become perfect, it’s to become present.
You already know what to do. The journey now is learning how to be with yourself as you do it, with patience, humor, and a good dose of compassion. Because, as the saying goes:
“We do not rise to the level of our goals, we fall to the level of our systems.” – James Clear
So, build systems that support gentleness. Rest when you need to. Celebrate your humanity. And remember, it’s not about doing everything perfectly. It’s about living with awareness, kindness, and balance.
Read more from Simone Reinhardt
Simone Reinhardt, Strategic Psychotherapist and Clinical Hypnotherapist
Simone Reinhardt is a Sydney-based Psychotherapist and Clinical Hypnotherapist dedicated to helping women break free from burnout, perfectionism, and self-doubt. With a compassionate, solution-focused approach, she supports her clients in rewriting limiting beliefs and reconnecting with their authentic selves. Simone draws from evidence-based practices, hypnotherapy, and mindfulness to foster deep emotional healing and sustainable change. She is passionate about guiding others to feel calm, clear, and empowered- both personally and professionally. Simone’s work is rooted in the belief that when we live in alignment with our values and present-moment awareness, transformation becomes not only possible but inevitable.
