The Four Staples Of Building Trust
Eric McAlister is a former professional athlete and now serves as a performance consultant and international keynote speaker, delivering expertise in well-being, mental performance, leadership and team culture.
If there is one thing I can tell you with absolute certainty, it’s that trust is the number one indicator of just how far you will go to reach your potential or that of a group. As Simon Sinek articulately explains in this video, trust is the most highly regarded quality in a team setting among high-performing teams, even more so than raw talent.
The beauty of life lies in the individuality and complexity of every single person we come across, but those complexities are also what make building trust time-consuming. In our lives, especially within the constructs of today’s society, it has become increasingly apparent that results are needed yesterday. So, how can you build trust within a team or your own personal relationships to get the most out of your journey?
The first thing you must do is understand yourself as thoroughly as possible. Brutal honesty, with no exceptions or justifications, is the only way.
Once you become comfortable with that, you need to prioritize what I see as the four foundations of trust among people. Whether I am building relationships in my own life or helping the teams and organizations I work with create success, these four foundations of trust consistently produce results and foster winning cultures that allow those involved not only to succeed but to thrive as well.
Four pillars and how to build trust faster with others
1. Competence
For some, the biggest indicator of how quickly trust will be built is based on the ability of others to come through for them. In the sporting world, if I pass you the ball, will you be able to score for the team? This simple question highlights the level of trust I have in you. In the corporate world, leaders who have built trust in individual team members will be more willing to delegate tasks and responsibilities. If you need something done correctly, you’re going to give it to your most talented team member, right?
So, how do we build “competence” trust with others? You must clearly identify their skillset, understand what they’re comfortable with, and put them in those situations as frequently as possible. By doing this, you will create more positive results, build confidence in others, and, ultimately, strengthen levels of trust.
2. Communication
The ability to effectively communicate with others is essential to building trust. Our strongest relationships are those where we can transparently and comfortably communicate. This, in turn, strengthens the bonds we share, as we feel more at ease with others during times of adversity.
Throughout my playing career, the coaches I had the best bonds with were the ones I communicated with most effectively. Late in close games or when the team was in a slump, those coaches fostered trust through open communication, allowing me to perform at my best and reciprocate the same level of trust in return.
To build trust through communication, it is crucial to approach each interaction with transparency and authenticity. Naturally, we as humans trust what is brought into the light and feel uneasy about what remains hidden. Make sure to offer the rawest version of yourself and establish communication that reinforces your true intentions, even when difficult conversations are necessary.
One coach, early in my career, once sat me down and said, “I can tell you what you want to hear, or I can tell you what you need to hear. Only one of those choices will get you where you want to be.” Those weren’t easy conversations to stomach, but they set me on the right path and ultimately led to success. To this day, I have full trust in that coach.
3. Empathy
Empathy is likely the most common foundation at the top of people’s lists. While empathy and concern for the well-being and success of others are vital, what matters most is what empathy creates. Empathy fosters harmony, and for many people, harmony represents safety, which is a fundamental priority.
This foundation should be easy to both recognize and cultivate. Ask others how they are, what they think, and what they like. Build connections by genuinely caring about them. The individuals I see who excel in this area are often the most selfless, resilient, and loyal people you can find.
Everyone wants to be the star, but it is a team’s unity and empathy that determine how far it will go. During my playing career, I was part of teams with extraordinary talent that fell short of expectations due to internal fractures. A home is only as strong as its foundation, ensure that the togetherness of your team is always intact. If you sense it fading, take the time to have an honest conversation with the individual involved. It can make a far greater impact than you might imagine.
4. Consistency
The final foundation of trust is the ability to be consistent. Can I trust you to do what needs to be done to ensure our group’s success? In college, our motto was to “hold the rope” for your teammate. In basketball, five players are on the floor at one time per team, and if four do their job but one doesn’t, bad things happen. The same principle applies to corporate or personal relationships, remember, there are only two-way streets in the real world.
Building consistency is the one foundation that isn’t easy to develop quickly. Consistency is built over time and relies on the repeatability of outcomes. The best way to build trust through consistency is to create frequency as much as possible. Give people opportunities once they understand what needs to be done and how to accomplish it.
During my career as a professional athlete, my competence gave me the initial opportunity, but it was my consistency that kept me under contract. My empathy made me an asset to the culture, and my autonomy allowed the coach to trust me completely with the game on the line.
Whether you’re evaluating relationships at work, understanding your personal relationships better, or reassessing how to network in the new year, focusing on these four foundations of trust is the best place to start.
Read more from Eric McAlister
Eric McAlister, Performance Consultant and Speaker
Eric McAlister is quickly revolutionizing how we look at the connections between well-being and performance. As a professional athlete, Eric has gained and now expanded on the many tools at the disposal of a professional athlete, honing in on our ability to maximize our potential without the emotional pitfalls that come with chasing our goals. Eric has worked with athletes and organizations across the world including the NBA, Olympians, PGA golfers and more. His vision is clear winning well and it is something he believes we all deserve.
