The Dance of Duality – A Manifesto for the Soft and Unbreakable
- Brainz Magazine
- 7 hours ago
- 4 min read
Written by Joanne Louise Bray, Founder
Joanne Bray is the proud founder of Plantlife Joy. Her journey began with a deep love of nature and the belief that plants have the power to bring happiness, tranquility, and a touch of magic to our lives. Plantlife Joy specialises in plant knowledge, and our mission is to connect people back to the beauty of the natural world.
Recently, I have been thinking a lot about sexism as I have experienced it quite a bit throughout my life. Whilst I agree men often have physical strength that is superior to women, I would have to argue that they do not have the mental strength that it takes to be a woman. It takes resilience to navigate a world that expects us to be both soft and unbreakable. Also, to refrain from throat-punching the men who don’t respect our boundaries.
Years ago, it was the woman's responsibility to care for the house and children. A family could afford to live on a single wage; children didn’t have mental health issues like they do now, because they had at least one parent to be there whenever they needed someone to ease their pain of existing in a world where they were constantly learning and were continually changing.
We had to swap our time with our children for work; we had to send our children either into the care of strangers or a family member. To be continuously torn between our responsibility to be present as a parent and as a professional. Our chores around the house didn’t lessen just because we weren’t there as often; they often increased because we weren’t home to pick up after most of the household constantly. We are the ones who remember birthdays, soothe tantrums, sense tension before it erupts. Our minds are tuned to the frequency of others’ needs, often at the cost of our own peace.
Of course, some men have picked up the weight too, or changed roles, but women had to man up, and yes, many of us asked for it; some, however, were not given a choice with the increase in divorces and single-parent families. The rise in single-parent families sometimes left children with only one active parent role, often the mother. All of this, along with other factors, has led to a mental health crisis. Although many people still deny that poor mental health is even a thing. People do play on it, but many genuine individuals genuinely struggle with dealing with life.
Women have always been overlooked for their capabilities. For centuries, women were suppressed, kept out of rooms, out of the household finances, out of the chance to achieve something other than to raise a family and home. Change is inevitable; it’s the only thing that has been constant since the day we were born, and yet so many of us struggle with it. I recently watched a documentary on street food around the world with my youngest son. I realised that many cultures still view their women as the lesser of our species and treat them as a commodity. Whilst I respect their traditions and ways of life, I realise how fortunate I am to live in the West, where women aren’t expected to sit down and shut up because I would be totally rubbish at that.
Our culture, in many ways, has developed to allow women to be recognised for their voice and input in most professions. I could understand if any woman wanted to escape where they are discriminated against and stereotyped, which still happens often, even now. I speak not just for myself, but for the women whose voices are still caged. For the girls taught to shrink, the mothers were forced to choose survival over dreams. Our liberation must be collective.
We are still poked fun at for navigating the changes that happen to us; we put up with hormones changing monthly coupled often with pain, to eventually reach an end with a host of side effects that make you feel like you are indeed insane, with more body changes, and if we are unlucky, a husband who eventually leaves us for a younger model. In all honesty, it’s not easy for either sex throughout life, yet we seem to forget that fact. We are often all consumed in our own pain that we forget the pain that another might be feeling, even our nearest and dearest. What I am trying to say is that life is tricky for us all, and to move forward, we have to let go of the past, where men ruled the world, because look at the state of it. It’s a mess, with division everywhere, loss of biodiversity, and it's so disorganised. As women are well known for our organisational skills, juggling all that we do, I think it's time that you allow us to help sort out this mess, don’t you? To every woman who’s ever felt too much or not enough, your duality is divine. May your softness be your sword, and your strength your sanctuary. So, rise, woman, not just for yourself, but for the ones who still whisper instead of roar. The world needs your chaos, your clarity, your care. The dance is yours now, lead it. To every man that reads this, it's not that we don’t appreciate you; we do, but we will not be silenced anymore. It’s time for us to join forces, because together we can accomplish twice as much.
Read more from Joanne Louise Bray
Joanne Louise Bray, Founder
Joanne Bray is a leader in plant life; she has been to the darkest depths of despair with her mental health. Nurturing plants and learning all about them led to her own healing journey. She discovered the immense joy and mindfulness that nurturing plants provides, so she began to write about them within her membership site, create courses, paint parts of nature that she fell in love with, and write books in the hope of sharing her passion and helping others to connect back to the beauty and wonder that nature supplies. Joanne is very passionate about eradicating the use of chemicals in gardening, and so she offers solutions using plants that either attract beneficial insects or deter pests.
